By Noah Garfinkel, Networx
The original intent of this article was to explore possible uses for fast food other than eating. It turns out, though, that thereís not a whole bunch you can do with heavily processed food other than quickly shoving it into your face and hoping nobody judges you. (The result of shoving said food in your face is a call to your local NYC plumber. I will not tell you if this has ever happened to me.) Sure, you can use a Taco Bell Burrito Supreme as a doorstop for a not-that-heavy door. And, of course, you can take a stab at being a carpenter by making your toothbrush stand upright by jabbing the end into a Big Mac, thereby making yourself a DIY toothbrush holder. But, donít do that. Donít do either of those things. Those are both wildly gross things to do.
What you can do, however, is improvise with your fast food to make a new fast food product that eliminates the flaws in your original fast food order. For example, the biggest problem with Taco Bell is that they have no French fry equivalent, no viable side order option. (Nachos are not a side order when they are essentially a deconstructed taco.) But, now that Taco Bell offers the Doritos Locos Taco, you can synthesize your own side order of chips to go with a self-fabricated burrito. Hereís how this works. First order a Doritos Locos Taco and a Cheese Roll-up.
If you are not familiar with these items, Iíll quickly explain. The Doritos Locos Taco is a taco with a shell made of Doritos. And, as for the Cheese Roll-upÖ You know that thing you make when youíre drunk and you just roll up a microwaved tortilla with cheddar cheese on it? The Cheese Roll-up is exactly that. Iím pretty sure the Taco Bell employees are even required to get drunk before they make it.