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What Do You Do With Negative Thoughts?
Many people try to substitute “positive thinking” for the disturbing thoughts they want to eliminate. On the surface this tactic may lead to some signs of improvement.
The mind can be forced into identifying only with pleasant or uplifting things. But in time the feared thoughts will surface again, and until then there is the exhausting effort of trying to maintain constant self-control.
Many people, in their well-intended efforts to accent the positive, do not escape their problems but only increase them. They want to put an end to suffering but mistakenly choose the tactic of denying their true feelings, on the grounds that the feelings are “too negative” to express.
Paying attention to one’s fear and pain is a great source of guilt in most people because it seems like self-pity, a trait we think of as wrong. But denying pity to yourself, when you would give it willingly to others, is also wrong. We all have hidden pain inside, and trying to suppress it is not a virtue. It’s only an impossibility.
You may consider it very important to maintain a good attitude, but in itself an attitude is not very reliable. After all, who’s keeping who’s spirits up? Everything inside you is just you, even though you might split it up into a brave you that is trying to suppress or defeat a fearful you.
Does opposing your negative thoughts lessen their power? Doesn’t it just delay the day when they will come out in one way or another? If we keep playing this game of opposing thoughts that are not acceptable to us, we will always lose. The serious question is, ‘Can I give the whole game up?’ Very few people consider that alternative.
Adapted from Unconditional Life: Discovering the Power to Fulfill Your Dreams, by Deepak Chopra (A Bantam Book, 1991).
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46 comments
add your comment »As someone who has bought into many types of behavioral therapies, brands of psychotherapy over the years, I appreciate this article. Many methods teach you to suppress negativity, express only positivity, as if your negative thoughts are somehow inappropriate to have in the first place! I think a lot of people could be helped if therapy taught people to accept and deal with the negative rather than pretend everything is OK. I can tell you that pretending everything is OK never really makes it OK, and making people feel bad about themselves for feeling bad is very destructive.
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hello Gracie:)'like you said..being lonely wan't help,even if you like to live on your own,and feeling guilty because you eat and others don't...we can at least help those near to us and we can decide too to move and have activities,contentment may be too a solution but not being inactive when we feel bad,a good thing too is to walk every day,at least a good half an hour,eating some dark chocolate(i wan't miss it!!!)and counting only on your own physical and moral strength to slide out little by little of your sad mood!sometimes it's just a small thing happening,baking bread,watching a bee a bird a tree...
i live in a very special country,believe me!i sometimes dream i could leave for a few moments,it may be a choice,but i know too that being back in my country of origin would'nt be THE solution,i learned here to live with patience,opening my eyes and heart on very different ways i didnt know before,i believe i didn't lose anything...so i wish you all the best,we all have these waves up and down!!:)))))
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Gracie, you don't have to be able to meditate to be able to do Thought Field Therapy. Check out www.emofree.com - it's a variation on Thought Field Therapy. If you still need instructions, contact me and I'll find you instructions.
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Chana and Marthe, thanks for your comments. this Thought Field Therapy, can it work without meditation? because i'm probably the worst candidate for meditation ever. (clearing THIS mind?! forget it!) :) anyway i looked it up but you had to sign up for a class or something... but you know, remembering that these thoughts are not necessarily me is helpful too...and yeah marthe, living in gratitude, realizing that things could be a lot worse, and are for some people, helps too. i do that a lot! but then that leads to it's own string of unhappy thoughts, and guilt.
(why do i get to eat when others go hungry? that sort of thing.)
the issue out here is one of isolation, and spending too much time alone, is not good for the mind sometimes! i live in a town of 150, in Utah...not much outside stimulation. so resolving this issue will probably mean moving. i love living alone, but the overall loneliness is getting to me for sure! thanks for your comments. :)
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hello:)
negative thoughts are part of our life,we ca'nt always live in the positive side,i feel it's just like the body being tired or stressed,the same happens to my mind sometimes and i look at it like as a temporary thing!then,too i try to think about worse situations i know in other people's lives and it can help if you have some sympathy or interest or generosity for others!!of course if you can resolve the negative problem it's
the best way to get out and you should try to do it by your own will or by asking for help,why not,even just talking to someone or listening....'wishing a sunny day to everyone,or a rainy one to those who didnt get a drop for months!!!:)
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gracie b, we all have some circular negative thoughts and energy. The trick is to learn, through meditation, to just notice the thoughts as they come into your mind, and let them go. They aren't who you are, they are just visitors (sometimes unwelcome visitors.) As I mentioned before, if the negativity becomes too much of a nuisance and is interfering with your life, nothing works better than Thought Field Therapy.
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oops i mean "thework.com"
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wow, nevermind the article, i found these comments to be very helpful! so many people looking at this from so many angles. thanks uma and everyone else. i really struggle with circular negative thinking and emotions. it's crazy. i think i'm going to go check out that link now, (theworks.com). maybe a lobotomy would be helpful too. ;) kidding!!
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Uma, three cheers for empaths! It also makes for amusing dates. Although a woman hardly need be empathic to read a man's mind. :)
Just joking, guys. It is harder for us to block stuff sometimes. Like I just don't need flashes of people's personal history ast times.
They seem to know and will tell you about it if you block any images you get. So some of us have double negative stuff to deal with.
Sometimes I'd like to choke the life's breath out of folks. Arrrgh! I care, just not 24/7, you know.
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a quote from Dalai Lama:Question: How can Dzogchen help in daily life?it is quite difficult to have an experience of Dzogchen, but once you do have that experience, it can be extremely beneficial in dealing with your day to day life, your job, and your career. This is because that kind of experience will give you the ability to prevent yourself from being overwhelmed by circumstances, good or bad. You will not fall into extreme states of mind: you will not get over-excited or depressed. Your attitude toward circumstances and events will be as if you were someone observing the mind, without being drawn away by circumstances.
For example, when you see a reflection of a form in a mirror, the reflection appears within the mirror but it is not projected from within. In the same way, when you confront the situations of life, or deal with others, your attitude too will be mirror-like.
Also, when a reflection appears in the mirror, the mirror does not have to go after the object that is reflected: it simply reflects, spontaneously, on the surface. The same with you: since there is no attachment or agitation at having these 'reflections' in your mind, you will feel tremendous ease and relief. You are not preoccupied by what arises in the mind, nor does it cause you any distress. You are free from conceptuality or any form of objectifying. And so it really does help you, in allowing you to be free from being caught up in the play of emotions like hatred, attachment, and the like.
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