Love is a Weapon
Relationships help women to live longer than men, and married men longer than single men with the same cancers, but relationships are not meant to make you submissive or lead to an attitude of, “I’ll make this marriage or job work if it kills me.” Think of a relationship as an ordeal or a struggle. My wife does because she knows 1+1=3. That is when two people get together they create a third entity, the marriage or relationship of any type.
Relationships are work because they relate to creating a third entity and are not about personal benefits. How to decide what to do relates to your health. If the relationship is affecting your health then I would say to eliminate it and love from a distance. However, if your health is not at risk then ask yourself how could love resolve this dilemma? Love is a weapon I recommend. You can kill with kindness, torment with tenderness and become blind to faults, with love.
I learned the power of love years ago after an accident. I fell off our roof when a ladder broke and hit my head on the pavement. I developed amnesia due to the injury and it improved our marriage dramatically. When my memory returned I sought marriage counseling. The therapist handed me a piece of paper and said, “Read this and do what it says and save yourself a lot of time and money.” What she handed me was Corinthians 1:13. I have been working at it ever since and it has provided me with thirty five wonderful years of married life and thirty five out of fifty two isn’t too bad.
So construct your life out of the bricks of love but never forget to use humor as the cement which helps to hold the bricks together. I will also prescribe a dog or cat for you and do not ever let the child in you die. They will create healing relationships and teach you to live in the moment.
DR. BERNIE S. SIEGEL, a sought-after speaker and media presence, is the author of many books including the blockbuster Love, Medicine, and Miracles; Peace, Love, and Healing; and 365 Prescriptions for the Soul. He lives in Woodbridge, Connecticut.