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What is Your Belief System about Trauma?
If someone randomly commits violence against you, the facts seem to scream that life is unfair, you are innocent, random human cruelty took away your sense of self-control. But despite all that, what’s really happening is that you have shifted into relating to the world through a trauma.
It isn’t the trauma itself that caused the shift. There had to be readiness inside. In truth life is neither fair nor unfair. The world is a reflection of who we are inside. If you can stop relating to the world through your trauma, there is hope that you can begin to relate through your soul. Here is how the process needs to go.
Victims hang on to their status because they feel innocent. The specific idea I am innocent is a blind, a mask. Yes, you are innocent. But only a stronger sense of self is going to rescue you. Your mind will never resolve why you, of all people, got hurt. Its struggles are futile from the outset.
I’ve met people who spend years in an attempt to figure out whether their misfortunes are due to bad karma. This becomes the magical word for a twisted logic that says, “I didn’t think I deserved to be hurt, but if you look at a deeper, more mystical layer, I did.”
This isn’t really the answer. First of all, it doesn’t heal the wound. Secondly, it exists as a mental construct and does little to salve the emotions, which are the chief fuel for ongoing victimization. You feel victimized, regardless of what your mind says.
The whole package–the event itself, the wound, the feelings that erupt, and the mind’s scramble to find an explanation–is so interwoven that it cannot be untangled. If you can face this fact, you have come a long way to understanding how life works.
Adapted from: Peace Is the Way, by Deepak Chopra (Harmony Books, 2005).
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14 comments
add your comment »Forgive, and forget...... it will work wonders
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Most people haven't a clue what real trauma is....they just think they do. Lucky them!
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i like to keep it simple. life has both constructive events, and destructive events. our power over either is not as much as we like to believe. accept everything that has happened, and do your best to be constructive in the future. the goal is minimize the pain (accept and move on), and linger as long as you can in the constructive. on top of all...JUST LOVE!
rikker
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I used to be a social worker, but I left that field in hopes of something more. It wasn't enough for me to talk about the things that happened. Telling my story actually kept all of those things alive in me instead of healing them. I needed something more. Personally and professionally. I turned to my soul. This is where things really heal-it is where the love is.
Namaste!
Laura
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So true! My reactions to trauma (real or percieved) interfered with my ability to love and be loved. I allowed fear and anger to dwell instead of love. When I stayed all comfy in my victimhood I could not heal. It was like living in a limbo-static. Waiting for some external to save me. Then, I realized that I was adding to/and holding onto that pain. I had to change my focus. Like that mind game John Lennon talks about. So far, I do not allow myself to dwell on negative thoughts. They only fuel bad feelings and behavior. As much as I was the one in the way of my healing, I am also the one responsible for it. I wonder what's next?
Namaste!
Laura R.
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Trauma for me was a surgery gone bad....and then death ...call it what you like but it leaves one feeling very vulnerable. Acceptable or not I wish I was as strong as I was before all this pain we now feel.
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I don't accept things as they are. It looks ugly out there. I could no less accept things as they aren't as I cannot understand how a human cannot cook. I don't like the way things are. 80% do not in the United States. We hope for HUGE change. Life has turned really stupid, investments are really horrible, education is bizarre, the flowers are still growing thankfully and to be misunderstood by people is to be expected. "Accept any loss." That's what Keroac said. We like loss (if it's something we hated) but we accept it. We just aren't going to drop dead and have no feelings cause that's unatural. (maybe not for the dead)
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I think this is saying "accept everything as is" that is enlightenment!
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Huh? Trauma is a pain in the ass. The people who cause it are a pain in the ass and the time they take to wish people trauma=a pain in the ass. Dirty deeds are done dirt cheap. The victims don't just stupidly go out there again to receive more trauma, they are hunted. One cannot live in a box but one also cannot look over their shoulder consistently. Karma is not the dirty word dirty minds made it. In a kinder illusion it is a kinder word. Bottom line. Shit happens,and spiritual warfare is real. Somebody is always watching. I'm watching.
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Vulnerability shear vulnerability is how it feels....its very sad. PS......Sorry for the double ups!!
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