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Whatís OK and Not OK as a Caregiver

Here are some things that are NOT okay.

It’s not okay that you feel like you have to do everything yourself.

It’s not okay that you feel like an indentured servant.

It’s not okay that you are ignoring your personal needs.

It’s not okay that you are ignoring friends and social activities.

It’s not okay that asking for help paralyzes you.

It’s not okay that you don’t have a plan in place.

It’s not okay to feel helpless and hopeless for days on end.

It’s not okay that you have stopped doing activities you once loved.

It’s not okay that you are afraid to say “no” or “not now.”

It’s not okay that your siblings don’t help you.

It’s not okay that you don’t have boundaries in place.

It’s not okay that you feel unappreciated by your family.

It’s not okay that you have lost pride in what you are doing for another human being.

It’s not okay to sacrifice your financial security.

It’s not okay that you do everything your loved one wants, especially when the demands can be outrageous.

It’s not okay that you don’t sleep or eat properly.

It’s not okay that you are constantly exhausted when help is available, if you would only seek it.

It’s not okay that you are sacrificing your personal health for another.

It’s not okay that you are constantly trying to fix everything that is wrong.

It’s not okay that you are living your life in crisis.

How to Stop Self-Destructive Behavior

If any of the above rings true for you, then decide right now that you will get the help you need. Decide that you will live your life in a better way. Decide that you will take the necessary steps to ask for and get answers to the challenges that you are facing. Decide today that you are worth the time, energy and financial investment to survive, thrive and become an Empowered Caregiver.

Caregiver Strong: Reviving and Harnessing Your Personal Talents
Relaxing: Why Itís Hard, and How Caregivers Can Learn to Unwind
Bringing Out a Caregiverís Inner Optimist

Whatís OK and Whatís Not OK When You Are a Caregiver originally appeared on

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+ add your own
4:23AM PDT on Apr 28, 2013


3:45AM PDT on Jul 27, 2012

Thank you. This is very reassuring and helpful.

12:02AM PDT on Jul 27, 2012

good article and very good help - bless you

8:38PM PDT on Jul 26, 2012

great advice

1:24AM PST on Feb 17, 2012

I needed this information 6 years ago when my sister and I were the only ones taking care of my Mom (Alzheimer's).
I am copying this so that I will have it in the future. You never know what can happen.
Thanks so much.

6:15AM PST on Feb 1, 2012

Good article, thank you..

6:53PM PST on Jan 30, 2012

Great article! and sooo true, it's nice to see what we know as caregivers given ink!

2:26PM PST on Jan 29, 2012

Wow! This makes me feel a little better, since I admit to many of the emotions on the list.

11:33AM PST on Jan 29, 2012

Many of the items listed easily apply both to the givers AND receivers. We all have needs ... and gifts to share, interchangeable based on our position in the circle of life.

Just because our needs and abilities change with time in our life cycle, does not negate a loss of dignity and respect, to become only a chore that must be dealt with, often unfeelingly, begrudingly, or for-profit.

The desire to be included in life as much as possible to the end is universal ... and will, in time, be your desire as well. What do you feel is fair and righteous?

2:27AM PST on Jan 29, 2012

I am a carer for my husband, with a brain injury and have developed a carers information folder for new carers, one of the tips is an family and friends awareness page making them aware that the carer will probably not ask for help as they are expected to cope,and often friends and family wont to help but don't know how, this spells it out,
i do hope that in time it will help,as it has only just been launched.
to all carers you are doing an amazing job for little thanks ,so please contact your nearest Carers Centre and other carers for a chat and moan if needed it helps a lot
i have found that God Bless to all.

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Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

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