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Whatís OK and Not OK as a Caregiver

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Here are some things that I think are okay for caregivers:

It’s okay to be scared.

It’s okay to be angry, lost, sad and even depressed.

It’s okay to lose your patience.

It’s okay that you don’t want to sacrifice your whole life for someone else. And you shouldn’t.

It’s okay that your self-esteem feels damaged.

It’s okay that you make mistakes.

It’s okay that you don’t know how to do everything.

It’s okay that you don’t have the answers.

It’s okay that you don’t have a cure.

It’s okay that you’re not there all the time.

It’s okay that you sometimes have extreme feelings towards the person for whom you are caring.

It’s okay that you lost your temper.

It’s okay that you had to apologize.

It’s okay that you’re afraid.

It’s okay that you can’t get everything done in a day.

It’s okay that you have guilt. All caregivers have guilt.

It’s okay that you have compassion fatigue.

It’s okay you feel trapped.

It’s okay that you took a few days for yourself.

It’s okay that you vented to your spouse or friend.

10 Caregiver Secrets We Arenít Proud Of

All of these things are absolutely okay. How you manage them is going to make the difference between becoming an Empowered Caregiver or staying in a hopeless situation.

Related:
Why Helping Other Caregivers May Make You Happier
Caregiving: A Legacy To Be Proud Of
Constantly Feeling Mad, Guilty? How to Break Out of a Mental Rut

Why Your Ill Parent Fools the Doctor and What to do About It originally appeared on AgingCare.com.

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AgingCare.com

AgingCare.com connects family caregivers and provides support, resources, expert advice and senior housing options for people caring for their elderly parents. AgingCare.com is a trusted resource that visitors rely on every day to find inspiration, make informed decisions, and ease the stress of caregiving.

34 comments

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4:23AM PDT on Apr 28, 2013

ty

3:45AM PDT on Jul 27, 2012

Thank you. This is very reassuring and helpful.

12:02AM PDT on Jul 27, 2012

good article and very good help - bless you

8:38PM PDT on Jul 26, 2012

great advice
!

1:24AM PST on Feb 17, 2012

I needed this information 6 years ago when my sister and I were the only ones taking care of my Mom (Alzheimer's).
I am copying this so that I will have it in the future. You never know what can happen.
Thanks so much.

6:15AM PST on Feb 1, 2012

Good article, thank you..

6:53PM PST on Jan 30, 2012

Great article! and sooo true, it's nice to see what we know as caregivers given ink!

2:26PM PST on Jan 29, 2012

Wow! This makes me feel a little better, since I admit to many of the emotions on the list.

11:33AM PST on Jan 29, 2012

Many of the items listed easily apply both to the givers AND receivers. We all have needs ... and gifts to share, interchangeable based on our position in the circle of life.

Just because our needs and abilities change with time in our life cycle, does not negate a loss of dignity and respect, to become only a chore that must be dealt with, often unfeelingly, begrudingly, or for-profit.

The desire to be included in life as much as possible to the end is universal ... and will, in time, be your desire as well. What do you feel is fair and righteous?

2:27AM PST on Jan 29, 2012

I am a carer for my husband, with a brain injury and have developed a carers information folder for new carers, one of the tips is an family and friends awareness page making them aware that the carer will probably not ask for help as they are expected to cope,and often friends and family wont to help but don't know how, this spells it out,
i do hope that in time it will help,as it has only just been launched.
to all carers you are doing an amazing job for little thanks ,so please contact your nearest Carers Centre and other carers for a chat and moan if needed it helps a lot
i have found that God Bless to all.

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