Question: What’s†the big deal about sex and orgasms?
So, what†is the big deal about sex and orgasms? I recently came across this question sent in to the†WTF? Questions Youíd Ask Your Sex Therapist If Only You Had One post.†Of course, if youíre trying to have a baby, the answer is pretty simple, but I didnít think the questioner was really asking about the procreative aspects of sex.
My first personal reaction was ďbecause itís fun!Ē But then it occurred to me that I know people who feel guilty when they experience sexual fun, which makes it difficult for them to fully enjoy it, much less own their sexuality fully and freely. This struck me as too bad, and I got curious to see if there were other reasons to have sex Ė reasons that might help them overcome the guilt. I poked around a little and came up with some good stuff.
Sex is Good For Your Body, Mind and Stress Levels
Sex is basically a form of exercise. Even if youíre not hanging from the chandeliers, your circulation increases, your muscles contract and Ė if you DO swing from the curtain rods Ė youíre giving yourself quite a workout. Your body pumps with endorphins. Basically, it makes you feel good. And just like your body feels good after a good workout or run, the same is true for sex.
Letís see what our very own Lissa Rankin has to say about it in her†Whatís Up Down There? guide to the female body:
In addition to the giddy euphoric effects that make our toes curl, sex and orgasm (including masturbation) seem to have other health benefits. Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, famed sex researcher, and Professor Emerita from Rutgers University, lists the following evidence-based benefits of sexual expression. Engaging in acts of sexual expression may:
1. Help you live longer.
2. Lower your risk of heart disease and stroke if you have sex twice/week or more.
3. Reduce your risk of breast cancer.
4. Bolster your immune system.
5. Help you sleep.
6. Make you appear more youthful.
7. Improve your fitness.
8. Help protect against endometriosis.
9. Enhance fertility.
10. Regulate menstrual cycles.
11. Relieve menstrual cramps.
12. Help carry a pregnancy to full term.
13. Relieve chronic pain.
14. Help reduce migraine headache pain in some individuals.
15. Improve quality of life.
16. Reduce the risk of depression.
17. Lower stress levels.
18. Improve self esteem.
19. Improves intimacy with your partner.
20. Help you grow spiritually.
The evidence is mounting. Orgasm isnít just good – itís good for you.
Work Up a Sweat – Or Don’t
I have to admit that Iím not a gymnast in bed. Maybe itís because Iím bigger than a breadbox. Maybe itís because my husband and I like ďlazy sexĒ (thereís a sideways position that is really easy we can spend a long time in). Maybe itís because I donít sweat easily. Whatever it is, I donít always feel like Iíve gotten a true workout after a good boink-in-the-sack.
But I will say that I am always more relaxed after some good sex. Those endorphins are for real. So whether you are the energizer bunny or a lazy sensualist like me, just enjoy your style, enjoy the physical sensations of being in your body and accepting the physical pleasures it can give you. Own all the benefits of being a sexual being.
So do you really need another excuse to put the guilt aside and have sex (with your partner or with yourself) as often as possible? You donít feel guilty when you go to the gym, do you?
Do you have sex as often as you exercise? Do you feel good afterwards? Does your body give you incentives to have sex more often? Does this help you put the guilt aside?
Researcher of†WTF? Questions You’d Ask Your Sex Therapist If Only You Had One? Got a question? Ask me! (Twitter @JessieFano)