START A PETITION 25,136,189 members: the world's largest community for good
START A PETITION
x

When Our Heart Breaks

When Our Heart Breaks

Loss is a call into mysticism, into spirituality, because our relationship to ourselves and to our world has transcended its boundaries. Our vessel has been shattered, the fabric of our world torn, and we either take up the call to healing or collapse in despair. Grieving is either a creative act–something is born from it–or it destroys. What we want to hear, what we need to hear in the depth of our despair is the call to healing. And when we are being carried along by the ecstasy of healing, we need to remember our despair.

When the heart breaks, it opens. It breaks open to allow us to include more than loss, more than the pain and betrayal. It breaks open to suggest that we can go beyond the limits of who we believed we were by meeting life through loss.

What can loss ask of you, and what transformation can it provide?

There is no stillness louder than the stillness at the heart of loss. The Kabbalah teaches that there are three ways in which we can express sorrow. On the lowest level, we cry. On the second level, we are silent in our suffering. On the highest level, we turn our sorrow into song.

There are parts of us that are enraged by the thought, the mere suggestion, of turning our sorrow into song or of blessing a meeting with sorrow.

Saying “no” to the loss means that the object of our loss is consigned to the realms of our pain, our sorrow, and its absence. Saying “yes” to the loss means allowing ourselves to embrace and be embraced by it. The embrace brings everything in: sorrow and joy, tears and laughter, love and loss, what was and what will yet be.

This is the stuff of transformation and initiation. If we respond to Life’s call, the veils of mystery that separate us from knowing the meaning and wisdom of life are briefly parted and we become initiates. Loss is such an initiation if we are willing to respond to its call. But what it asks of us is nothing less than to be willing to bless it.

Read more: Spirit, Inspiration

Adapted from Healing Through the Shadow of Loss, by Deborah Morris Coryell (Inner Traditions, 2004). Copyright (c) 2004 by Deborah Morris Coryell. Reprinted by permission of Inner Traditions.
Adapted from Healing Through the Shadow of Loss, by Deborah Morris Coryell (Inner Traditions, 2004).

have you shared this story yet?

go ahead, give it a little love

Annie B. Bond

Annie is a renowned expert in non-toxic and green living. She was named one of the top 20 environmental leaders by Body and Soul Magazine and "the foremost expert on green living." - Body & Soul Magazine, 2009. Learn Annie's latest eco-friendly news on anniebbond.com, a website dedicated to healthy and green living.

8 comments

+ add your own
12:52PM PDT on Jun 9, 2011

http://www.thepetitionsite.com/769/petition-to-deny-parole/
My only son, hearing-impaired, was brutally murdered. Not only was it heart-breaking, I have to relive it when his murderer comes up for parole. I deal with something that seems nonstop.
Please sign and share the petition ASAP. Deadline June 23rd, 2011!


Yellow Roses
(dedicated to my son, Gregory Douglas Turner, 1969-1992)
copyright2000Sandrascorona

Here are roses big yellow roses
Pretty and thorn less
Like you gave me years ago
Together we planted those yellow roses
On my birthday
Son, how you glowed
I remember you said:
"Momma, here's roses
Pretty and thorn less."
But your hands, Son, were in shreds
You watered the petals
Of those big roses
With tears shed removing thorns
Son, here are roses big yellow roses
Pretty and thorn less
Like you gave me years ago
I bring you roses
On my birthday
See, they've grown
Remember those roses big yellow roses
Pretty and thorn less
Like you gave me years ago
Together we planted those yellow roses
On my birthday
Son, how you glowed
I remember you said:
"Momma, here's roses
Pretty and thorn less."
But your hands, Son, were in shreds
Together we've watered
Those yellow roses
With tears we've both shed
Remember those roses big yellow roses
Pretty and thorn less
That you gave me
years ago . . .

I don't know how to answer mail here so thank you in advance!

11:35PM PDT on Mar 18, 2011

Thanks for the article.

9:47AM PST on Mar 7, 2011

I am constantly astonished by the depth of grief that comes constantly just for being alive. Its no wonder that there is mental illness and depression--we have the responsibility to help one another, and as we (meaning humanity at large) grow into being more of who we really are, we will eventually all be able to tolerate life and get to seeing the beauty and glory of it through all the trials we face. Then, it will be a new day.
This is a beautiful article, putting words to sorrow helps so much to be able to deal with it. That's why poetry is so powerful in expressing grief. Thank you so much.

1:41AM PST on Feb 27, 2011

Thanks for the info.

12:08AM PST on Feb 13, 2011

Embracing loss. Not so easy when the pain and suffering is so overwhelming. But it definitely make the soul grow. Everything does.

3:00AM PDT on Apr 9, 2010

I hope I am never around you Stepahnie Baker, whilst you grieving, and are smashing all that glass!! Mind you, it could be a good idea, as long as someone else clears up the mess! Actually, like most elderly people,I am becoming and old hand at grieving. In the lst two years; one mother; one father eight weeks later Three good freinds, within the next six months; two old and beloved dogs one 22 year old cat and one big silly pet rabbit! I find that it feels as if you are going to CHOKE, initially, with grief.. It can take your BREATH away and you can find yourself in agony, making animal NOISES you are so full of UNENDURABLE pain. however, the pain DOES eventually subside. It comes in waves, but those waves must be allowed to crash over you. If you try and resist them, you may either never be truly over your grief and become depressed, as a result of repressing a normal feeling. I have a strong faith in God which helps to heal me, but NOTHING stops the INITIAL pain. Later on, you can normally put other more spiritual atrategies into play, but for a moment in time you BECOME grief.I am not sure you EVER stop TOTALLY, periodically hurting, if you have loved deeply. I still feel the pain, periodically of a partner I lost 20 years ago, but it is bearable. I am almost glad of that pain, because it makes me able to offer love and compassion to others when they are grieving. I know what they need and am willing to give it to them, so that THEY too will one day help others.

11:51AM PST on Mar 1, 2010

I have collapased in despair and then sent out a call for healing to God....he listens and I survived.

12:38AM PDT on Apr 8, 2009

i find smashing my possesions up, especially glass, etc, helps.

add your comment



Disclaimer: The views expressed above are solely those of the author and may not reflect those of
Care2, Inc., its employees or advertisers.

people are talking

Interesting. Thank tou for sharing)

I avoid soda anyway, but thank you for the reminder.

Looks absolutely divine! Cannot wait to try it. Thank you!

Story idea? Want to blog? Contact the editors!



Select names from your address book   |   Help
   

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.