When Your Friends Mean More Than Your Spouse

Friends matter. They always have. We count our friends like money in the bank. The more we have the better we feel. Having a spouse is a bit more dicey…we don’t always feel like our spouse is our BFF. Friendships might be forever while spouses can come and go or vice versa. So, what does it mean when we just might feel more at ease with a friend than we do with our mate? Have you ever put a friend’s needs before your lover’s? Let me tell you a story of just that – a friendship taking the front seat over a romantic relationship – and what the underlying meaning is for a relationship when this happens.

The scenario: Two couples. The husbands are best buddies as are the wives. Then couple A separates. The friendship between the two husbands and the two wives remains strong. Late one night, as Couple B were talking, the husband reveals that his best friend has a new girlfriend. The next day the two women meet for happy hour. As they were talking and commiserating about the breakup between couple A, the friend who is separated suddenly turns to her friend with tears streaming down her face and exclaims that she can’t understand why her husband has been so distant during their separation. She is torn between going ahead and filing for divorce or continuing to work on things with her husband. She wonders aloud to her best friend if anything might be going on with another woman…Well that was it; her best friend couldn’t hold it in any longer and blurts out the truth about her husband and the other woman. This sets off a fire storm between couple A, and, of course, at home, when the other wife has to fess up that she spilled the beans to her girlfriend. She has to fall on her sword with her partner and though she apologizes profusely, it falls on deaf ears because he feels so pissed and betrayed.

Now, here you may be thinking, as the husband did in Couple B, that his wife’s loyalty to him, her husband, should’ve come first above all else. But I needed to dig a little deeper.

So I ask her why she told her friend when she knew that it would create such a debacle in her own home. She said something interesting. She said that she felt closer to her friend than she did to her spouse, whom she has been living with for seven years. This knocked me back because it was so telling as to what matters when the rubber meets the road. It’s all about closeness. It seems that her relationship with her mate is littered with conflict and criticism and her friendship is about two women caring about each other and being kind to one another. At the final call, we all yearn for connection, and sometimes our old friends will be there for us in a way that our mates will not.

It’s not really about who matters more, it’s about what matters more. Connection trumps everything: loyalty, friendship, kindness and care will organically exist where the strongest bonds are. You can’t continue to be loyal or kind indefinitely with your mate when the connection is lost. Creating a strong friendship with our mate is the key to the rest of the issues that come and go with our friends and family. The saying goes, “Treat family like friends and friends like family,”–and it is the operative condition for all good relationships, no matter who we are sleeping with.

So, what can you do today if you feel like your spouse isn’t your best friend or maybe they never were?

Here are four steps to take to regain and/or strengthen the quality of friendship and daily connection with your mate.

1. Express interest and consideration for their needs and feelings.

2. Make time to be together on a regular basis as in: date nights, developing interests and having fun.

3. Learn how to have productive conflict where tempers are not lost and acknowledgement and validation are the key components.

4. Above all be kind.

Friendship is the foundation for love and commitment. I often hear that couples are fighting about whether they should get married. What could be more counterproductive? It almost always ends in failure. Good friends sit down together and plan for their future, one in which they feel comfortable that they can tackle any problem with care and concern. That’s the secret to what makes relationships run smoothly.

48 comments

Peggy Goldd
Peggy Goldd14 days ago

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me, I was rejected by my husband after four (4) years of marriage just because another woman and so he left me and the kids to suffer severe emotional pains. He moved in with the woman and forgot all the love and happiness that we once shared.My husband changed his attitude and thoughts against me automatically and he never wanted to see me around him anymore nor even talk to me again, so i contacted Dr OSUSU who helped me solve all my martial problems i had with my husband and he told me how another woman bewitched my beloved Greg. I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced with similar situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Osusu who can really solve all your problems. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Greg, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but a friend of mine told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang and behold it was GREG was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, This is truly miraculous and the spell caster opened him up to know how much I love and needs him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes t

Peggy Goldd
Peggy Goldd14 days ago

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me, I was rejected by my husband after four (4) years of marriage just because another woman and so he left me and the kids to suffer severe emotional pains. He moved in with the woman and forgot all the love and happiness that we once shared.My husband changed his attitude and thoughts against me automatically and he never wanted to see me around him anymore nor even talk to me again, so i contacted Dr OSUSU who helped me solve all my martial problems i had with my husband and he told me how another woman bewitched my beloved Greg. I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced with similar situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Osusu who can really solve all your problems. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Greg, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but a friend of mine told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang and behold it was GREG was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, This is truly miraculous and the spell caster opened him up to know how much I love and needs him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes t

Peggy Goldd
Peggy Goldd14 days ago

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me, I was rejected by my husband after four (4) years of marriage just because another woman and so he left me and the kids to suffer severe emotional pains. He moved in with the woman and forgot all the love and happiness that we once shared.My husband changed his attitude and thoughts against me automatically and he never wanted to see me around him anymore nor even talk to me again, so i contacted Dr OSUSU who helped me solve all my martial problems i had with my husband and he told me how another woman bewitched my beloved Greg. I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced with similar situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Osusu who can really solve all your problems. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Greg, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but a friend of mine told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang and behold it was GREG was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, This is truly miraculous and the spell caster opened him up to know how much I love and needs him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes t

Lucy B.
Past Member 16 days ago

I am Lucy Brown from USA,my boyfriend left me for the past 3 years,i try all my best to get him,my effort was in vine.we both love our self.my best friend Vivian was very jealous because we both love each other.she contacted a white witch.and she make me to be very seek.during the period that i was sick,she snatch my loving boy friend from me,when i had that she have snatch my lovely boy i became more sick and i almost lost my life,not knowing that she also bewitch my lovely guy(Micheal)so i read a magazine on how Dr ATIAFO help people to cure their sickness and help to unite relationship as well,i contacted him immediately,and told him my sickness and about my boyfriend,shortly he right to me and told me my girlfriend was behind all my problems,that she contacted a black magic .to snatch my guy and make me to be sick,he cure my sickness within a week and he also cast a spell that bring back my lovely boyfriend.and broke away the black magic .The only thing he as me to do is to share my testimony to the world.now i am so comfortable with my relationship.Dr ATIAFO was godsend to me and he also make my dreams comes true,we are happily married with a bouncing baby boy.thinks to the great Dr ATIAFO, his email is: atitafospelltemple@yahoo.com .he is 100% real and ready to solve any problem you encounter.magic is real,believe it.

Maris L.
.26 days ago

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Vanesa P.
Vanesa P.2 months ago

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 .
.2 months ago

My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doin

Samlin Michelle M.
Samlin Michelle M.4 months ago

How To Restore A Broken Relationship And Marriage

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Becky Nolan
Becky Nolan6 months ago

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Becky Nolan
Becky Nolan6 months ago

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