When Your Friends Mean More Than Your Spouse

Friends matter. They always have. We count our friends like money in the bank. The more we have the better we feel. Having a spouse is a bit more dicey…we don’t always feel like our spouse is our BFF. Friendships might be forever while spouses can come and go or vice versa. So, what does it mean when we just might feel more at ease with a friend than we do with our mate? Have you ever put a friend’s needs before your lover’s? Let me tell you a story of just that – a friendship taking the front seat over a romantic relationship – and what the underlying meaning is for a relationship when this happens.

The scenario: Two couples. The husbands are best buddies as are the wives. Then couple A separates. The friendship between the two husbands and the two wives remains strong. Late one night, as Couple B were talking, the husband reveals that his best friend has a new girlfriend. The next day the two women meet for happy hour. As they were talking and commiserating about the breakup between couple A, the friend who is separated suddenly turns to her friend with tears streaming down her face and exclaims that she can’t understand why her husband has been so distant during their separation. She is torn between going ahead and filing for divorce or continuing to work on things with her husband. She wonders aloud to her best friend if anything might be going on with another woman…Well that was it; her best friend couldn’t hold it in any longer and blurts out the truth about her husband and the other woman. This sets off a fire storm between couple A, and, of course, at home, when the other wife has to fess up that she spilled the beans to her girlfriend. She has to fall on her sword with her partner and though she apologizes profusely, it falls on deaf ears because he feels so pissed and betrayed.

Now, here you may be thinking, as the husband did in Couple B, that his wife’s loyalty to him, her husband, should’ve come first above all else. But I needed to dig a little deeper.

So I ask her why she told her friend when she knew that it would create such a debacle in her own home. She said something interesting. She said that she felt closer to her friend than she did to her spouse, whom she has been living with for seven years. This knocked me back because it was so telling as to what matters when the rubber meets the road. It’s all about closeness. It seems that her relationship with her mate is littered with conflict and criticism and her friendship is about two women caring about each other and being kind to one another. At the final call, we all yearn for connection, and sometimes our old friends will be there for us in a way that our mates will not.

It’s not really about who matters more, it’s about what matters more. Connection trumps everything: loyalty, friendship, kindness and care will organically exist where the strongest bonds are. You can’t continue to be loyal or kind indefinitely with your mate when the connection is lost. Creating a strong friendship with our mate is the key to the rest of the issues that come and go with our friends and family. The saying goes, “Treat family like friends and friends like family,”–and it is the operative condition for all good relationships, no matter who we are sleeping with.

So, what can you do today if you feel like your spouse isn’t your best friend or maybe they never were?

Here are four steps to take to regain and/or strengthen the quality of friendship and daily connection with your mate.

1. Express interest and consideration for their needs and feelings.

2. Make time to be together on a regular basis as in: date nights, developing interests and having fun.

3. Learn how to have productive conflict where tempers are not lost and acknowledgement and validation are the key components.

4. Above all be kind.

Friendship is the foundation for love and commitment. I often hear that couples are fighting about whether they should get married. What could be more counterproductive? It almost always ends in failure. Good friends sit down together and plan for their future, one in which they feel comfortable that they can tackle any problem with care and concern. That’s the secret to what makes relationships run smoothly.

56 comments

 .
.14 minutes ago

It’s a classic great for me to go to this blog site, it offers helpful suggestions jointtermfirst to die policy

Manning J.
Manning J.10 days ago

i want to thank Dr Olorun for bringing back my ex that i lost for the past 1 year and 4 months, i contact this great doctor after reading the testimonies of him shared by the people he has help as well, to be honest I never believe but i just made up my mind to contact him and give him a try but he prove me wrong by granting my heart desire, i am really happy that DR Olorun bring back my ex to me, what more can i say but thank you, contact him via his e-mail address: olorunoduduwaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

Sarah Phillip
Sarah Phillip26 days ago

My name is Sarah Phillip, and I based in USA...My life is back!!! After 1 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Okosun, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Sonia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Okosun's e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr Okosun is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try High Dr Okosun anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here's his contact: drokosunsolutionhom@yahoo.com or drokosunsolutionhom@gmail.com or through his private phone numbers +2347060759332. He is a

Sarah Phillip
Sarah Phillip26 days ago

My name is Maria Steveson, and I based in USA...My life is back!!! After 1 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Okosun, which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also come across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called Sonia,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Okosun's e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr Okosun is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man... If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Try High Dr Okosun anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here's his contact: drokosunsolutionhom@yahoo.com or drokosunsolutionhom@gmail.com or through his private phone numbers +2347060759332. He is

Helen S.
Helen S.3 months ago

After being in relationship with him for 3 years, he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the other ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, like of issue of not be able to get pregnant for many years, lotto, his email is DRAISEDIONSPELLCASTER@OUTLOOK.COM you can email him if you need his help in your relationsh

Cellina A.
Cellina A.3 months ago

These comments you see on the internet about DR ONOFE are not just comments, they are truthful words of experience written by those who have been there and found help in reuniting with the ones they hold dear to their heart and other marital and financial problems. I can tell you this because I also asked him for help to cast a love spell to fix my relationship with the only man I have ever loved. we got married but couldn't have a baby and then I discovered my womb was damaged. I had to try some spell casters but to no avail until I contacted DR ONOFE. HE restored my womb and just like that i got pregnant,i have given birth now and our baby is growing. Thank God for our lives and also to DR ONOFE who God has used to blessed us. I know that not everybody will believe this moreover its just something on the internet but my heart knows every of this word that formed this entire comment is true. his contact is: onofetemple@yahoo.com or onofetemple@gmail.com website:http://onofetemple.wix.com/http
hi

Cellina A.
Cellina A.3 months ago

These comments you see on the internet about DR ONOFE are not just comments, they are truthful words of experience written by those who have been there and found help in reuniting with the ones they hold dear to their heart and other marital and financial problems. I can tell you this because I also asked him for help to cast a love spell to fix my relationship with the only man I have ever loved. we got married but couldn't have a baby and then I discovered my womb was damaged. I had to try some spell casters but to no avail until I contacted DR ONOFE. HE restored my womb and just like that i got pregnant,i have given birth now and our baby is growing. Thank God for our lives and also to DR ONOFE who God has used to blessed us. I know that not everybody will believe this moreover its just something on the internet but my heart knows every of this word that formed this entire comment is true. his contact is: onofetemple@yahoo.com or onofetemple@gmail.com website:http://onofetemple.wix.com/http
i8y

Cellina A.
Cellina A.3 months ago

These comments you see on the internet about DR ONOFE are not just comments, they are truthful words of experience written by those who have been there and found help in reuniting with the ones they hold dear to their heart and other marital and financial problems. I can tell you this because I also asked him for help to cast a love spell to fix my relationship with the only man I have ever loved. we got married but couldn't have a baby and then I discovered my womb was damaged. I had to try some spell casters but to no avail until I contacted DR ONOFE. HE restored my womb and just like that i got pregnant,i have given birth now and our baby is growing. Thank God for our lives and also to DR ONOFE who God has used to blessed us. I know that not everybody will believe this moreover its just something on the internet but my heart knows every of this word that formed this entire comment is true. his contact is: onofetemple@yahoo.com or onofetemple@gmail.com website:http://onofetemple.wix.com/http

Peggy Goldd
Peggy Goldd4 months ago

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me, I was rejected by my husband after four (4) years of marriage just because another woman and so he left me and the kids to suffer severe emotional pains. He moved in with the woman and forgot all the love and happiness that we once shared.My husband changed his attitude and thoughts against me automatically and he never wanted to see me around him anymore nor even talk to me again, so i contacted Dr OSUSU who helped me solve all my martial problems i had with my husband and he told me how another woman bewitched my beloved Greg. I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced with similar situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Osusu who can really solve all your problems. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Greg, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but a friend of mine told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang and behold it was GREG was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, This is truly miraculous and the spell caster opened him up to know how much I love and needs him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes t

Peggy Goldd
Peggy Goldd4 months ago

An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me, I was rejected by my husband after four (4) years of marriage just because another woman and so he left me and the kids to suffer severe emotional pains. He moved in with the woman and forgot all the love and happiness that we once shared.My husband changed his attitude and thoughts against me automatically and he never wanted to see me around him anymore nor even talk to me again, so i contacted Dr OSUSU who helped me solve all my martial problems i had with my husband and he told me how another woman bewitched my beloved Greg. I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced with similar situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Osusu who can really solve all your problems. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Greg, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but a friend of mine told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang and behold it was GREG was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, This is truly miraculous and the spell caster opened him up to know how much I love and needs him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes t