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Going Crazy? Focus on What You Want

Going Crazy? Focus on What You Want

For thirty-five years as a psychologist, business consultant and writer, I have tried to help clients and readers keep the difficult people at work and at home from driving them crazy. To that end, I can offer one inspirational piece of advice: In difficult situations, before you do or say anything, stop and ask yourself, “What do I want to happen?”

The reason this simple advice works magic has to do with the structure of your brain. At times, that same structure also makes this advice surprisingly hard to follow. Here’s why:

Human consciousness is a messy pile of thoughts, feelings, fears and desires. At the bottom of the pile are instincts programmed into your reptile brain. At the top are conscious intentions. In emotionally laden situations, as when we are trying to deal with difficult people, we are more likely to fall back on our reptilian instincts rather than thinking things through. This always makes the situation worse.

The big problem is that in the heat of the moment, it is sometimes very difficult to distinguish between instincts and thought.

Imagine that someone is angry with you. Needless to say, it’s not your fault, but please don’t say that yet….Continue reading at

Dr. Al is a psychologist, business consultant and speaker.

Related: Wisdom from James Goi, Jr.
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Photo Credit: Max Elman

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Gail Lynne Goodwin's brings the world the best of the best inspiration from people like Sir Richard Branson, Jack Canfield, Debbie Ford and more. Each day we ask our Luminary to answer, "If you only had 500 words to share, what wisdom would you want to pass on to humanity? What have you learned that matters, and what doesn't?" We share their wisdom for FREE to help our community live an inspired life, each and every day!


+ add your own
7:10AM PDT on Apr 30, 2013

Good advice. Thanks for sharing.

1:15AM PDT on Apr 10, 2012

Questions can almost always turn conversations or anger around..... One needs to priactise being proactive instead of reactive .... it's quite a discipline.

8:48PM PDT on Apr 8, 2012


11:34AM PDT on Apr 8, 2012

Like this

10:15AM PDT on Apr 8, 2012


6:02AM PDT on Apr 8, 2012


3:49AM PDT on Apr 8, 2012


8:29PM PDT on Apr 7, 2012

thanks for sharing this

7:14PM PDT on Apr 7, 2012

great advise. I wish more people would stop and think before they opened their mouths.

6:01PM PDT on Apr 7, 2012


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