Our emotions are often stuck at the childhood level, when we were not allowed to experience them fully. Clinical psychologist Doris E. Cohen explains that the child part of us actually takes over our adult nervous system, recreating the same unhealed fears we were unable to fully work through as children. The purpose of this is to bring healing into the unhealed places. An example would be a woman who, at the age of three, was abandoned by her father. Whenever she begins a new relationship, she begins to feel a sense of impending doom—the work of her inner three-year-old. And then she ends up sabotaging the relationship and repeating her abandonment. Nothing changes until she catches herself engaging in this repetition and learns how to comfort the frightened child within her who has been unconsciously running the show.
In this culture, which teaches us to split our adult intellectual knowledge from our emotional reality and needs, one can have a Ph.D. from Harvard but an emotional body that is only two years old. The emotions of a frightened or angry two-year-old, if unexpressed and unacknowledged, become energetically stuck in childish patterns. Emotions that are expressed, felt, and named, on the other hand, simply flow through our energy system, leaving no residual unfinished business. Once stuck emotions are expressed and released, we must also acknowledge that we are no longer children. It’s time to put our adult selves in the driver’s seat of our lives.
We do not have to wait to develop cancer or other diseases in order to get the message that we need to change our vibrational point of attraction and begin creating health. None of us is completely free from the fear, anger, and stress that come and go as part of normal life. When these emotions become intense enough to affect our psychological and emotional well-being on a regular basis, we are heading for physical illness unless we resolve them in a healthy way. When our daily unresolved pain, anger, and frustration rob our bodies of vital health-producing energy, it is essential to bring healing and understanding into our daily thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Here is a crucial point: It is completely possible for a woman to go through her entire life free from physical illness even though she was abused, beaten, or neglected as a child. Early childhood problems do not necessarily cause energy disturbances and physical illness. Often these problems occur only after a woman begins to develop as an individual and form her own identity and opinions separate from those of her family and her tribe. From this vantage point, she often realizes that what happened to her as a child was not acceptable. However, she is realizing this from the perspective of a mature individual, not of the child she was then.