Hurts and wounds from a woman’s past do not become potentially devastating to her, physically or emotionally, until she gets the idea that what happened to her in the past was wrong, that it shouldn’t have happened, and that she was abused purposely and consciously by her family members. No one should be abused in any way. And anyone who was abused was entitled to better. No one would disagree with this. But very few of us had idyllic, pain-free childhoods. Abuse is remarkably common in part because the human race hasn’t had much experience with allowing positive energy and joy into our lives for very long. We have a central nervous system that, for centuries, has been wired to expect and react to conflict—which we are also masters at creating until we recognize this pattern and change it. That’s where our power lies, always.
Regardless of what has happened to us in childhood, it’s our job to feel, transform, and heal our wounds. To thrive, we must become sources of health and healing so that we can break the chains of pain that run in our families. Part of thriving is avoiding toxic blame and resentment that goes on for years. Energy disturbance and subsequent illness result from past abuse only if a woman is unable to work through her emotional and psychological pain with forgiveness and understanding for herself and others—even for those who caused the abuse.
Forgiveness doesn’t preclude anger, however. Feeling rage and anger from past violations is a necessary first step toward healing. Anger mobilizes and energizes us to make long-overdue, life-enhancing changes. It’s far preferable to the stasis of depression. The key is to feel that anger and then move on. Anger and blame are a necessary stop on the road of life, but they make a lousy destination. The longer we stay in this mode, searching for a perpetrator to blame for what happened to us—be it men, our mothers, the government, or doctors—the more our bodies are energetically depleted. I’ve learned how to recognize the poisonous effects of righteous indignation in my own body. Getting stuck in this energy for a long time becomes self-destructive.
Our early family life clearly has a profound influence on our character and health. Nevertheless, our bodies and minds are self-renewing. Writing a new script for ourselves changes our biology. We can decide to heal ourselves and move on.
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Adapted with permission from Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, Bantam, 2010.
This information is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or prevent any disease. All material in this article is provided for educational purposes only. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you have regarding a medical condition, and before undertaking any diet, exercise, or other health program.
© Christiane Northrup, Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
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