We need our “ordinariness” deemed special. Write down this sentence: Spirit loves me for simply being here. If you can begin to believe this one thing, the man/woman you attract as a lover will hold the same attitude.
Each affair, real or imaginary, has a repeated message to offer: “You are loved.” It is the simplest of messages, but often the hardest to absorb. For spirit isn’t saying, “You are loved as long as your passion for this man/woman lasts.” It is saying, “You are loved,” without any qualifications.
Each man/woman you have loved is a tiny reminder of who you are. This isn’t solipsistic but a natural reflection of your needs. We all project similar needs in our search for love. You aren’t judged by the love life you choose, since no one is outside yourself to judge. There is only you as the self, looking at you from a different angle.
The self looking at you is the primary relationship you bring to all situations. Realizing that, you will start to reduce expectations for other relationships. What do you really want from men/women? Security, well-being, a since of belonging? These are all available to you from your own self, and your healing will be to fall in love with that self.
Adapted from The Path to Love by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).