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You Know Exactly What You Want

You Know Exactly What You Want

Do you ever get a lot of clarity — you know, get really focused on a goal that you want — and then, all of a sudden, you get confused? You were completely confident and sure that you were going in the right direction, but as time passed, things became a little more fuzzy and blurred?

I’m noticing a pattern in my own life: I’ll think that I have things figured out and I know exactly where I am going and then I will lose faith and confidence in myself. But I’m learning that a lot of times, we say we don’t know what we want when really, we know EXACTLY what we want — we’re just afraid to tell ourselves. But when we expel fear from our lives, what’s left is love — for ourselves, for others, and for life.

Fear keeps us from doing what we know we’re capable of doing, what we know we’re meant to do. Fear keeps us believing that we’re not good enough or we’re not worthy of the things we truly want. Fear makes us scared of attaining our heart’s desires because we’re afraid it’ll be taken away once we get it.

But love? Love pushes us forward and helps us transcend doubt. Love gives us confidence and assurance that we can trust others and trust ourselves. Love guides us, is patient with us, and is compassionate.

It sounds all “hippy-dippy.” And it also sounds easy — but it isn’t. But know this: when you are really ready for change, when you decide you are ready for the life you are meant to live, it will happen. Not without effort, but the impossible will become possible. You’ll have more courage and more strength. Whatever it takes to get it done? You’ll find a way to make it happen. You’ll find new energy to finish the task; the energy that used to be allocated towards being scared is refocused into energy to love, hope, and work towards making your goals a reality.

If there’s something you’ve been wanting to do, but you just can’t, ask yourself if it’s because you’re scared. Then, let go of that fear and just operate in love. What does that look like? It’s that silent confidence that everything will be okay. It’s letting go of the feeling that you need to be in control. It’s being kind and generous to yourself and others. It’s allowing yourself to imagine and to think of new possibilities. It’s believing in yourself and not letting the past determine your future. It’s being present and in tune to your life right now. It’s living instead of existing.

Let fear go. Once you do, all there is is love.

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Image Credit: Ashley Campbell / Flickr

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Erika Oglesby

Erika Oglesby is a freelance writer and wandering nomad currently located in Grand Rapids, MI. She is dedicated to helping people better their lives through self-knowledge and alternative therapies -- especially women of color and women diagnosed with autoimmune diseases. Visit her website at http://www.erikaoglesby.com.

13 comments

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10:59PM PDT on Jun 2, 2012

I have been very fortunate to experience most of my life surrounded and supported by love. I would rather live with that sacred memory than seek out a relationship that doesn't measure up, so it searching for a relationship is not uppermost in my mind.
What I do miss about my previous life in my home country is that I wasn't deceived so regularly - by that I mean by businesses, by an insurance company, even by people I thought were friends, etc. It relates to asking probing questions, proceeding with that necessay knowledge and then later finding out that people were not telling the truth. Often with dire consequences, often with loss of money or theft.
Yes, I do "know exactly what I want" ... it just doesn't work out as I want - once I've been deceived.... or hoodwinked by dishonest people.

10:32PM PDT on Jun 2, 2012

great advice, thanks

8:23PM PDT on May 31, 2012

interesting, diversified comments...

4:41PM PDT on May 31, 2012

Keep in mind that many people will share their fear with you and try to keep you from doing what your heart wants -specially if it sounds impractical and not economically sound - so be prepared to learn who your real friends are.
Remember you have to live in this society but don´t be affraid of making your own map

9:19AM PDT on May 31, 2012

(continued) Then when they have sucked the life out of you, when you get OLD, you get DUMPED. How did "society", i.e. MEN get away with scamming women for so long? Easy,
women are EMOTIONAL and naturally "LOVING" and men take advantage of that. They make false PROMISES, tell women they will get the LOVE that they crave if women give them SEX and a lifetime of SLAVE LABOR. Then when they are DUMPED, the priests say, well don't worry you will get your reward in the "next life". That's a LIE. There is no next life, this is the only chance we get. How many women actually GET the LOVE they were PROMISED WHEN THEY GET OLD? Statistically, a handful. In answer to the question, "Do you ever get a lot of clarity?" Yes, NOW I do.

9:05AM PDT on May 31, 2012

"Do you ever get a lot of clarity — you know, get really focused on a goal that you want — and then, all of a sudden, you get confused?"

Not any more. That only happened when I lived my life doing what "society" told me to do. The confusion came when, after doing everything I was supposed to, I got thrown out like yesterday's newspaper. I was told if I "worked hard", gave up my youth to "service" and shut up and "did what I was told" that I would get "respect". So I did. The law said I should lift a maximum of 30 lbs but they forced me to lift 200 lb men on a regular basis because it was "part of my job". That trashed my back causing me a world of pain but of course they said I was "faking it". I worked 13 hour days for 11 years and put money in savings every month. Just when I was at the peak of my career (they even told me I worked circles around the young girls) I got dumped like Newt Gingrich's first wives for "younger", "cheaper" help. Thankfully, I had saved money but then my portfolio got cut in half by Newt and his corporate thieves STEALING all the MONEY out of our ECONOMY! So not only did a CATHOLIC HOSPITAL steal my LIFE, but some BILLIONAIRES and POLITICIANS stole my RETIREMENT MONEY! I know that there are millions of women just like me out there, just like Newt Gingrich's first wives, who are CONFUSED too. It's the realization that we have all been SCAMMED by "SOCIETY" to WORK and GIVE. Then after THEY have sucked the LIFE out of you, whe

8:23AM PDT on May 31, 2012

thnx

7:46AM PDT on May 31, 2012

Finding love is difficult, if you listen to what you hear about it, from people who are trying to control too much. It takes the ability to let go, to forgive, to remain vulnerable in the face of previous rejection or failure. Everyone has some love within. Nurture that love within and it will grow, then set it free, to bring back the love of other people.

2:53PM PDT on May 30, 2012

Select your friends, goals, and priorities carefully... and then plan, implement, evaluate, and re-plan (the PIER concept) to accomplish your desires. Spend at least 10 minutes daily thinking, meditating, and/or praying about what you want to do as well as how you plan to accomplish that goal. Don't be afraid to seek expert help if you need it. Study and learn to overcome any "roadblocks" you face. Develop and keep confidence in yourself, and love what you are doing.

2:47PM PDT on May 30, 2012

If love was so easy to come by, don't you think the people who wanted and needed it most would have it? I don't get it, I just don't understand how you are supposed to have love if you can't find it or don't have access to it.

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