START A PETITION 27,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good
START A PETITION
x

Is Speaking to Yourself Out Loud a Sign of Mental Illness ?


Society & Culture  (tags: )

Hans
- 2287 days ago - answers.yahoo.com
A friend of mine told me that she would not visit groups anymore because she felt as if we are just speaking to ourselves! Now how about C2NN! I cannot see any difference to groups! This news is just for us, a small circle of friends and or members!



Select names from your address book   |   Help
   

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.

Comments

Hans L. (958)
Friday September 19, 2008, 3:53 am
Care2 is all about speaking to yourself in groups, in the Care2 news, even in the comments on the petitions....i have never received any message back now unless this is a glitch this means that we are realy talking to ourselves....but whats the use of that if you are fighting causes like endangered species, whales, animal rights, peace, hunger, Global warming?

I expect too much from Care2 and i have found out that it cannot deliver! Its time to reduce my time here, no more news, no more comments, no more petitions just the
messages that i receive from my friends!

 

Elsa ED (231)
Friday September 19, 2008, 4:13 am
There are a lot of people who don't make comments they just read the news or whatever and never say anything. There are many who do read the information however. It is like that at a lot of places. one place i use to use i use to get over a 1500 views per story I posted and not one person ever made a comment or they commented rarely. Be assured folks do read what you say.
 

Joycey B. (750)
Friday September 19, 2008, 5:00 am
I comment as much as I can. I mostly do my friends news. I like to let people know if I signed a petition or not. I have been in the top 5 commenters for a long time now. I miss being in my groups, so I am cutting back on a lot here so I can be in them again. Thanks for this great post Hans.
 

Hans L. (958)
Friday September 19, 2008, 8:22 am
You asked, and we delivered. Patagonia outerwear returns
to REI.com thats the way we like it....

We asked but what did Care2 deliver? IAMS advertising is it still here i cannot see
any advertising in Care2 because of ABP and because i am blind for advertising!
 

ROBIN M. (312)
Friday September 19, 2008, 11:07 am
speaking to yourself means you are thinking outside the box. if you stay inside the box you don't get the whole picture just bits and pieces. I belong to groups where we talk and while we explain to others what we are thinking and feeling althought we are speaking to them we are hearing ourselves which in turn helps us come to an understanding of what some of the problems we are facing are.
 

Hans L. (958)
Friday September 19, 2008, 12:18 pm
Dear Robin!

This is what i have received today and what makes me think about how to continue here in
care2 its no fun to talk to myself in the groups it happened in the Austrian activist group that i realy asked myself can this be true.....but i did not receive any answer..

Peace
Building a network which can stand up the daily chaos is not easy. I am a member of several on-line communities and the focus is divided in so many directions. There is not any cohesive structure, although Care2 is trying to synthacize such. We are the ones who need to initiate the networking through all of the communities. Yahoo, hotmail, msn, and googling specific environmentalist groups. Then we need to initiate interesting discussions and inspire said individuals and groups to come together in one community body. This is what I have surmized in all of my discussions and explorations. You have been working very hard and I want you to know that you are not alone.

Peace, Love and Light,

Lyra

Too many groups, too many causes, too many possibilities to get lost.....

Namaste

Hans
 

Hans L. (958)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 2:34 am
Thank you for your notes and comments, how do you see this speaking to yourself here in Care2? Speaking to yourself is ok but not if you think you are speaking to the CARE2 community! or to your activist group!
 

. (0)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 3:14 am
well it was there a minute ago????
Back to the post, I always had the feeling, that we are only talking to animal friends here and not to the wider world. Making absolutely no changes! Not converting anybody to a vegetarian life style. Maybe it is all a waste of time? And yes that Iams ad is still floating around, Grrrr
Well at least we are talking to us here. But it would be nice if the people reading would give us a tiny sign, that they are reading. 8 million members, I don't believe that.
 

Hans L. (958)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 3:15 am
Glitches some more glitches Bea! But they can be kind of funny...or dangerous ....

Ya know, Hans, over the last few weeks I have been noticing one thing. I bet if one were to count all the people who signed petitions and who note the news that you would find a core group of active members of about 1,000 people if that. I know that I check the comments and signs on petitions and see who notes on the news and I consistantly run into the same people. And I don't buy the excuse that care2 has glitches as the reason for lack of activity. The fight for animal rights, human rights and environment has a difficult one where we are always up against the monied old time interests who have every reason to leave things as is. We sometimes get victories but not often compared to the amount of effort extended. If I can fight the Austrian govt to free their citizens, if I can fight for the wild horses or make endless phone calls against horse slaughter or any one of the numerous fights that I fight than I can put up with whatever care2 (or what4 as I frequently call it) can throw at me. You mean a true activist can be overcome with glitches or suspensions--then they are not the down in the trenches activists they ought to be. I agree it would be soooo much easier if this site worked better but that is not to be--get used to it. Doesn't mean we can't push for a better working care2, it just means it is one more thing to overcome. If we give up due to care2 apathy then we might as well give up activism entirely and just smoke a joint and watch television. I have put up with the glitches and a very funky dialup connection but still have been working every day. I finally am going to be able to put in a sattelite internet connection which will allow me to be much more presence. But no matter what I will overcome and I'm no special person, I'm just a person who knows there is a fight and that you fight it with whatever you can, even if circumstances make you not as active as you would like you can still accomplish something. Hey 10 people are walking around right now that weren't a few weeks ago. I'll climb down off my now. Got to go lay down, have a touch of the flu or something. Still managed to sign petitions, submit 2 stories and note the news though. Ya can't keep a good activist down. Anyone who wants to fight will find a way, the others are just making excuses and need to admit they really don't want to make an effort--fine, just admit it and stop the pretending.--Goodnite (or good morning)~~your friend, Morgan
 

Hans L. (958)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 3:19 am
This is what Care2 calls random comments.....its a new way to get more people to sign comments and find new friends! 8 Million member accounts who cares if they do not make a difference at all? I get sick and tired of the APATHY of Care2 not of the Care2 members!
 

Hans L. (958)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 10:37 am
Hello where are you?

Hold on tight to your dream
Hold on tight to your dream
When you see your ship go sailing
When you feel your heart is breaking
Hold tight to your dream.

It's a long time to be gone
Time just rolls on and on
When you need a shoulder to cry on
When you get so sick of trying
Just hold tight to your dream

CHORUS
When you get so down that you can't get up
And you want so much but you're all out of luck
When you're so downhearted and misunderstood
Just over & over & over you could

Accroches-toi a ton reve
Accroches-toi a ton reve
Quand tu vois ton bateau partir
Quand tu sents -- ton coeur se briser
Accroches-toi a ton reve.

REPEAT CHORUS

Hold on tight to your dream
Hold on tight to your dream
When you see the shadows falling
When you hear that cold wind calling
Hold on tight to your dream.

Oh, yeah
Hold on tight to your dream
Yeah, hold on tight...
To your dream.
 

Sherri O. (257)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 3:14 pm
I joined FaceBook for the soul purpose of getting the word across and making people think. A lot of my young friends have connected to my friends list on the condition that they read and view all that I have put on there. In turn, they pass it on. It's the story of, if I tell ten people and they tell ten people, etc.
Spread the word one person at a time.
It can be very frustrating and disheartening at times, but we must keep on trying. If we only save a few, our efforts mattered to them.
 

Robert Garvin (46)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 8:06 pm
My Father was Irish and he talked to himself a lot. Sometimes he even argued with himself. What he was actually doing was getting a better look at the problem from two different perspectives. Sometimes one needs to talk to the only person who understands just what is happening and that is yourself. I do not think this is on the edge of insanity as it gives one a second perspective. Maybe I am on the edge myself, who knows? BUT I also find that when I talk to myself, I am able to get a clearer perspective of the situation and instead of going off half cocked, I am able to diffuse a situation that could have been explosive if I had just gone ahead with my original thoughts.
For sharing on C2NN, we sometimes need to talk to ourselves first so we can get a clearer vision of the point we are endeavouring to make. Of course you need to talk to someone who understands your point of view, so who better than yourself? LOL and ROFL.
 

Robert Garvin (46)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 8:09 pm
When the thought is verbalised, one can then look at it more critically to improve it and the best one to do that is yourself, FIRST as words spoken wrongly can never be brought back and you are your best friend or worst enemy.
 

Kathy W. (299)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 8:27 pm
I talk to myself all the time. Sometimes you just have to. :) As for here on Care2 I note and read alot of articles. I try to comment as much as possible also. As for the groups that I am in, for some reason since the "new and improved" Care2 alot of times I can't get to the groups, or if I can it will rarely let me put in a post or even put in a reply to a post, which is getting very frustrating. Just hoping sooner or later all will be running smooth again.... And, for the IAMS ad, I see it's still here, ALSO stupid Walmart ads! Grrrrr.... (I hate Walmart).AND.... to all my Care2 friends you all mean alot to me, some more than you'll ever know, so I just want to say Thank you. Love and respect always from me... Kathy
 

Robert Garvin (46)
Saturday September 20, 2008, 9:17 pm
Kate, It is wonderful to see that someone else can evaluate what they are thinking by talking it over with yourself first.

Just a thought.

To hate another is to make oneself their slave. Disdain maybe would be better. When you hate someone, they are your master as it always gets under your skin when you see or are brought in contact. Try to think more in the positive direction, but do not lower yourself to the evils of the other. Forgiveness is not really part of our sinful heart but is a gift from God so we can choose a better way to treat our fellow man. Only God is able to fully forgive and blot the sin out. We always carry the scars that remind us of the conflict but we can choose to not let the injustice affect our personal mental capacity.
This does not mean that we will trust the perpetrator. The Bible does not say that we must forgive and forget. Just not to hold the sin against us as the be all and end all of our lives.
We also have the responsibility to do what we can to improve the lot of those to whom the injustice is done. If that means putting our signature to something we personally believe in then go for it.
 

Jeff D. (80)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 1:49 am
Good Post Hans, Noted. Talking to ourselves is Mental Normalcy as long as we don't debate ourself.

This is a human trait which almost the entire World population speak to themself at LEAST once per day. When we take to the very core of thinking .... the thought process is actually precedence to speaking out loud to voice an answer, action or opinion.

Come on now Gang, how many have spoken out to say YES, I want pizza and zero zip friends present? Thats our conscience speaking out loud for what we crave, but do we yell out YES, I want SEX? ahh haaa .. got your tongues.

Wishing Everyone a Very Happy International Peace Day :) Enjoy smiling or hugging someone you care about.
 

Kathy Chadwell (365)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 2:47 am
The care glitches are a pain and they're real.
I've always been active on here and now I can't hardly ever get messages out, I have to go to the story summiters page to find their stories, (because I get a stupid page telling me I've screwed up, it's not here, etc, etc. On myspace somebody (computer savvy somebody:) did these cute comments with saying on them. They had the myspace notices from TOM:) with messages about how we've screwed up myspace and you can't send messages, screwed up the bulletins so no bulletins, screwed up your comments so comments don't work. But please use your personal emails and tell everybody how much you love myspace:) Some of the others were much cruder but still hit the nail on the head and where funny.
 

Kathy Chadwell (365)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 2:49 am
And were funny, I might do better talking to myself:) At least I understand me:) Thanks Hans for letting us vent. I'm sick of this myself.
 

. (0)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 8:33 am
I talk to myself a lot. Especially when I'm trying to marshal my arguments for some later conversation. Or to vent when I'm trying NOT to say something to the person involved. A form of therapy, I guess!
 

Jeff D. (80)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 9:05 am
Hi Kathy,
Have you ever thought you may have been hacked? If so, it's probably best change every password to every account, every application, all your messenger tools and then use Roboform to manage all your passwords, codes offline.

The application can be loaded on a USB Flash stick too so you may access any social chat where ever you are. www.roboform.com -just in case you're strapped for cash, you be happy to know Roboform is free.
 

Marian E. (152)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 9:50 am

Hmmm, Bea, I have wondered the same thing. Rather like preaching
to the choir. I guess I use it to bolster myself sometimes. It helps
to know we aren't alone in our beliefs.

Hans, I do talk to myself, sometimes I feel like I'm doing the same thing
here when I post a comment.

Jeff, if the only intelligent person you can discuss something with is yourself,
perhaps a personal debate isn't abnormal. We do it in our minds when we
try to make a complicated decision. Why not out loud?

Thanks Hans.

 

JOYCE ROOKER (13)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 11:37 am
Hans, you are definetaly being listened to. I was talking to my brother on the telephone while scrolling down this page when your song came into view. My brother is having some bad times right now and it was like the song was there for him. I recited it to him and he calmed down. You sure did help. You see, your voice came from the Netherlands, to Virginia, to Texas where it helped someone who was feeling like there was no hope. Thank you for being here.
 

JOYCE ROOKER (13)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 11:41 am
We all need to keep talking to ourselves. Just because no one answers doesn't mean we aren't helping.
 

Hans L. (958)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 11:53 am
I am glad that i am not realy insane just crazy!
I am glad to hear that there are more people here in Care2 who care!
GREAT NEWS! Thank you for your comment hope that you will accept my
friendship!
I am glad that i have been able to help someone! Music can realy heal!
Who am i is a wonderful song did you see the link to music from the heart?
http://www.care2.com/news/category/other/Music+Piano Michael is from Salzburg like Mozart has been and he writes all the music directly from the heart...just listen to this
music its free and its great....
http://www.care2.com/news/category/other/Music+Piano
http://tinyurl.com/michaelsmusic its realy great to listen to this music!
Enjoy it
 

Past Member (0)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 12:24 pm
Self talk can be healthy!

Self Talk
Develop the Habit of Healthy Self -Talk!
by Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D.

"I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate cake! I'm so stupid. I'm just a hopeless case. My family stresses me out and undermines my self-control. I'll never get down to a size 10. I should just give up! "

Do you ever say things like this to yourself? This kind of thinking is called "negative self-talk." It sounds pretty dismal, doesn't it? Let's play the conversation again, this time with positive self-talk.

"I wish I hadn't eaten that chocolate cake! It wasn't a good choice, and I'm smart enough to make good choices. Looking back, I realize I wasn't hungry. I was stressed, and I was only wanting to calm down. So how can I calm down in a healthy, positive way? I'm determined to get to size 10, and mistakes are just part of the learning process."

Which is going to give you more motivation to maintain healthy habits---negative or positive self-talk? Self-talk is internal dialog---the words we use when we talk to ourselves. According to psychologist Dr. Shad Helmstetter, our self-talk reflects and creates our emotional states. You can feel calm or worried, depending on what you tell yourself. Your self-talk can influence your self-esteem, outlook, energy level, performance, and relationships with others. It can even affect your health, determining, for example, how you handle stressful events, or how easily you replace unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones.

You can change your negative self-talk with awareness and practice. This article teaches you how to recognize negative self-talk, and how to develop the habit of positive self-talk. Below are some types of negative self-talk, paired with positive alternatives.

Replace the Negative with the Positive

Focusing only on problems: This is the essence of complaining. We dwell on the problem, instead of solutions. Instead: Assume most problems have solutions, and ask "How do I want this situation to be different?"

Catastrophizing: Every bad thing that happens is a horrible disaster. Instead: Be realistic in your assessment and stop scaring yourself. Yes, bad things do happen, and many bad things are often inconveniences, mistakes, and foul-ups---not necessarily traumas, tragedies, or disasters.

Expecting the worst: "What if he doesn't like me?" "What if I don't pass the exam?" Expecting the worst does not encourage you to behave effectively. Expecting the worst only promotes anxiety. Instead: Ask questions that presuppose positive outcomes. "How can I make a favorable impression?" "How can I prepare for the exam?"

Stereotyping: By putting others, and ourselves, into preconceived categories, we avoid thinking of people as unique individuals. This leads to strained relationships, and gives us an undeserved sense of superiority or inferiority. It also often deprives us of opportunities to know and understand the giftedness of those whom we stereotype. Instead: Remind yourself that we are all human beings, with unique personalities, each having qualities and shortcomings.

Shoulds: Should, ought, must, have to... used carelessly, these words presuppose rules and standards for behavior that do not exist in reality. They imply a consequence for noncompliance, and often evoke quilt. For example, according to the law, we "should" obey posted speed limits, or pay a fine. Is it equally true that "I should be smarter than I am." or "I ought to be married by now."?--Of course not! Instead: Replace the words should, ought, or must with the word "COULD" and realize the gift of choices.

Thinking in Absolutes: We exaggerate reality with words like "always," "never," and "everyone," as in "I always eat too much--I will never be slim." Instead: Replace exaggeration with words that more accurately reflect reality. Example "I often eat more than I need, but I can change that."

All or Nothing Thinking: We distort reality by thinking only in extremes. Our efforts become total failures or complete successes---with nothing in between. Example: "Either I lose two pounds by Sunday, or I quit exercising." Instead: Chunk down your perceptions to see the parts of the whole, which can be positive, negative, and in-between. Give yourself options or choices whenever possible. Example: "I want to lose two pounds by Sunday. Even one pound would indicate that exercise is helping. If my weight stays the same, I'll experiment with variations in nutrition and exercise until I reach my goal."

Negative labels: Negative labels are the tools we use to lower self-esteem in ourselves and others. Example: "I'm stupid," or "I'm fat." When we say phrases like these often, they become a part of our identity and we can begin to dislike who we are. Instead: Remember, people are not their faults or shortcomings. You may engage in stupid behavior occasionally, but that doesn't make you a stupid person. Change your negative "I-am" statement into a statement about behaviors. Example: "I make unhealthy choices when it comes to food." It's easier to change a behavior, than to change your identity.

Blaming: We assign guilt, instead of solving the problem. If we can blame others, then we can feel vindicated in a wrong-doing, and avoid responsibility. Instead: Focus on what YOU can do to promote a solution to the problem.

"Yes but..." Arguments: When someone offers a possible solution to our problems, we "yes but..." and list reasons why the proposed solution won't work. "Yes but..." says "I'm really not listening to you right now." Instead: Open up to new possibilities and consider alternatives. Really listen to advice and give it a fair hearing, before dismissing it so quickly.

Overgeneralizing: This is similar to stereotyping and thinking in absolutes. It means that we take a single instance or occurrence, and generalize it to numerous other situations. Example: "Joe is a nice man, and he doesn't want to date me. Therefore: No nice man will ever want to date me." When misused, this kind of generalizing can lead to illogical conclusions. Instead: Ask yourself whether there could be exceptions to your generalization. Does a single occurrence mean it will happen every time?

Now you know what negative self-talk sounds like. Negative self-talk is usually a mixture of half-truths, poor logic, and distortions of reality that perpetuates negative emotions, such as pessimism, guilt, fear, and anxiety. It often occurs when in times of emotional turmoil, or when we are going through stress or a personal transition.

When you catch your negative self-talk, take a deep breath, relax, and remove yourself from the situation. Get up and stretch, or take a walk, or get a drink of water, in order to interrupt your train of thought and get out of the negative rut. Write down some of your negative thoughts and then ask yourself "Are the things I'm saying true? Are there other possibilities and meanings that I could get from these circumstances?" Then replace your negative thoughts with realistic, positive thoughts---and write those down too. Soon you'll stop that self-talk in mid-sentence. If you have difficulty changing your self-talk, you may have clinical depression, and a psychotherapist could help you.

Affirmations

One way to reprogram your self-talk is by repeating positive affirmations until you begin to get a good sense of what positive thinking really sounds like. After all, much self-talk is actually negative affirmations. Our emotions, perceptions, and behaviors are shaped by our most dominant thoughts. Advocates of affirmations theorize that our frequent thoughts represent goals which the subconscious mind strives to actualize. What we most often tell ourselves can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you want to explore the power of positive affirmations, follow these guidelines.

1. Personalize your affirmations with with words like "I," "me," and "my." You can't always control circumstances or other people, so make your affirmations about what you can control---yourself. Make your affirmations state your own goals, wants, and values---not someone else's.
2. Some authors say affirmations are best stated in the present tense, because, if affirmations are in future tense ("I will...") your subconscious mind feels no urgency to act NOW. If you feel hypocritical stating affirmations in the present tense (as in "I am slender and healthy") then state your affirmations as a process (as in "Each day I am become more slender and healthier.")
3. Make your affirmations believable and realistic so that you can say them with sincerity. Begin with small, easily achievable goals, and work your way up to bigger accomplishments. "My self control is perfect." is probably more believable as "I have self-control most of the time."
4. State affirmations in the positive. To say "I don't eat fatty foods," only focuses your attention on the behavior you want to avoid. Instead say "I eat nutritious foods."
5. Make affirmations short and easy to remember. Catchy slogans stay with us longer than essays.
6. Repeat your positive affirmations often and positive thinking will become routine.

To maintain positive self-talk, fill your mind with uplifting ideas. Recognize your strengths. Comfort yourself when things go wrong. Let your self-talk be like the soothing, supportive words of a counselor, friend, or mentor. As you improve your self-talk, commit to changing your actions accordingly. Lasting accomplishments come when we change our behaviors as well as our thinking.

Copyright 2000 - Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D.
Permission for use granted to Healthy Habits
Parts of this article appear in the book: Healthy Habits
 

Past Member (0)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 12:25 pm
Self talk can be healthy!

Self Talk
Develop the Habit of Healthy Self -Talk!
by Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D.

"I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate cake! I'm so stupid. I'm just a hopeless case. My family stresses me out and undermines my self-control. I'll never get down to a size 10. I should just give up! "

Do you ever say things like this to yourself? This kind of thinking is called "negative self-talk." It sounds pretty dismal, doesn't it? Let's play the conversation again, this time with positive self-talk.

"I wish I hadn't eaten that chocolate cake! It wasn't a good choice, and I'm smart enough to make good choices. Looking back, I realize I wasn't hungry. I was stressed, and I was only wanting to calm down. So how can I calm down in a healthy, positive way? I'm determined to get to size 10, and mistakes are just part of the learning process."

Which is going to give you more motivation to maintain healthy habits---negative or positive self-talk? Self-talk is internal dialog---the words we use when we talk to ourselves. According to psychologist Dr. Shad Helmstetter, our self-talk reflects and creates our emotional states. You can feel calm or worried, depending on what you tell yourself. Your self-talk can influence your self-esteem, outlook, energy level, performance, and relationships with others. It can even affect your health, determining, for example, how you handle stressful events, or how easily you replace unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones.

You can change your negative self-talk with awareness and practice. This article teaches you how to recognize negative self-talk, and how to develop the habit of positive self-talk. Below are some types of negative self-talk, paired with positive alternatives.

Replace the Negative with the Positive

Focusing only on problems: This is the essence of complaining. We dwell on the problem, instead of solutions. Instead: Assume most problems have solutions, and ask "How do I want this situation to be different?"

Catastrophizing: Every bad thing that happens is a horrible disaster. Instead: Be realistic in your assessment and stop scaring yourself. Yes, bad things do happen, and many bad things are often inconveniences, mistakes, and foul-ups---not necessarily traumas, tragedies, or disasters.

Expecting the worst: "What if he doesn't like me?" "What if I don't pass the exam?" Expecting the worst does not encourage you to behave effectively. Expecting the worst only promotes anxiety. Instead: Ask questions that presuppose positive outcomes. "How can I make a favorable impression?" "How can I prepare for the exam?"

Stereotyping: By putting others, and ourselves, into preconceived categories, we avoid thinking of people as unique individuals. This leads to strained relationships, and gives us an undeserved sense of superiority or inferiority. It also often deprives us of opportunities to know and understand the giftedness of those whom we stereotype. Instead: Remind yourself that we are all human beings, with unique personalities, each having qualities and shortcomings.

Shoulds: Should, ought, must, have to... used carelessly, these words presuppose rules and standards for behavior that do not exist in reality. They imply a consequence for noncompliance, and often evoke quilt. For example, according to the law, we "should" obey posted speed limits, or pay a fine. Is it equally true that "I should be smarter than I am." or "I ought to be married by now."?--Of course not! Instead: Replace the words should, ought, or must with the word "COULD" and realize the gift of choices.

Thinking in Absolutes: We exaggerate reality with words like "always," "never," and "everyone," as in "I always eat too much--I will never be slim." Instead: Replace exaggeration with words that more accurately reflect reality. Example "I often eat more than I need, but I can change that."

All or Nothing Thinking: We distort reality by thinking only in extremes. Our efforts become total failures or complete successes---with nothing in between. Example: "Either I lose two pounds by Sunday, or I quit exercising." Instead: Chunk down your perceptions to see the parts of the whole, which can be positive, negative, and in-between. Give yourself options or choices whenever possible. Example: "I want to lose two pounds by Sunday. Even one pound would indicate that exercise is helping. If my weight stays the same, I'll experiment with variations in nutrition and exercise until I reach my goal."

Negative labels: Negative labels are the tools we use to lower self-esteem in ourselves and others. Example: "I'm stupid," or "I'm fat." When we say phrases like these often, they become a part of our identity and we can begin to dislike who we are. Instead: Remember, people are not their faults or shortcomings. You may engage in stupid behavior occasionally, but that doesn't make you a stupid person. Change your negative "I-am" statement into a statement about behaviors. Example: "I make unhealthy choices when it comes to food." It's easier to change a behavior, than to change your identity.

Blaming: We assign guilt, instead of solving the problem. If we can blame others, then we can feel vindicated in a wrong-doing, and avoid responsibility. Instead: Focus on what YOU can do to promote a solution to the problem.

"Yes but..." Arguments: When someone offers a possible solution to our problems, we "yes but..." and list reasons why the proposed solution won't work. "Yes but..." says "I'm really not listening to you right now." Instead: Open up to new possibilities and consider alternatives. Really listen to advice and give it a fair hearing, before dismissing it so quickly.

Overgeneralizing: This is similar to stereotyping and thinking in absolutes. It means that we take a single instance or occurrence, and generalize it to numerous other situations. Example: "Joe is a nice man, and he doesn't want to date me. Therefore: No nice man will ever want to date me." When misused, this kind of generalizing can lead to illogical conclusions. Instead: Ask yourself whether there could be exceptions to your generalization. Does a single occurrence mean it will happen every time?

Now you know what negative self-talk sounds like. Negative self-talk is usually a mixture of half-truths, poor logic, and distortions of reality that perpetuates negative emotions, such as pessimism, guilt, fear, and anxiety. It often occurs when in times of emotional turmoil, or when we are going through stress or a personal transition.

When you catch your negative self-talk, take a deep breath, relax, and remove yourself from the situation. Get up and stretch, or take a walk, or get a drink of water, in order to interrupt your train of thought and get out of the negative rut. Write down some of your negative thoughts and then ask yourself "Are the things I'm saying true? Are there other possibilities and meanings that I could get from these circumstances?" Then replace your negative thoughts with realistic, positive thoughts---and write those down too. Soon you'll stop that self-talk in mid-sentence. If you have difficulty changing your self-talk, you may have clinical depression, and a psychotherapist could help you.

Affirmations

One way to reprogram your self-talk is by repeating positive affirmations until you begin to get a good sense of what positive thinking really sounds like. After all, much self-talk is actually negative affirmations. Our emotions, perceptions, and behaviors are shaped by our most dominant thoughts. Advocates of affirmations theorize that our frequent thoughts represent goals which the subconscious mind strives to actualize. What we most often tell ourselves can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you want to explore the power of positive affirmations, follow these guidelines.

1. Personalize your affirmations with with words like "I," "me," and "my." You can't always control circumstances or other people, so make your affirmations about what you can control---yourself. Make your affirmations state your own goals, wants, and values---not someone else's.
2. Some authors say affirmations are best stated in the present tense, because, if affirmations are in future tense ("I will...") your subconscious mind feels no urgency to act NOW. If you feel hypocritical stating affirmations in the present tense (as in "I am slender and healthy") then state your affirmations as a process (as in "Each day I am become more slender and healthier.")
3. Make your affirmations believable and realistic so that you can say them with sincerity. Begin with small, easily achievable goals, and work your way up to bigger accomplishments. "My self control is perfect." is probably more believable as "I have self-control most of the time."
4. State affirmations in the positive. To say "I don't eat fatty foods," only focuses your attention on the behavior you want to avoid. Instead say "I eat nutritious foods."
5. Make affirmations short and easy to remember. Catchy slogans stay with us longer than essays.
6. Repeat your positive affirmations often and positive thinking will become routine.

To maintain positive self-talk, fill your mind with uplifting ideas. Recognize your strengths. Comfort yourself when things go wrong. Let your self-talk be like the soothing, supportive words of a counselor, friend, or mentor. As you improve your self-talk, commit to changing your actions accordingly. Lasting accomplishments come when we change our behaviors as well as our thinking.

Copyright 2000 - Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D.
Permission for use granted to Healthy Habits
Parts of this article appear in the book: Healthy Habits
 

Hans L. (958)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 12:42 pm
In my mail i have a comment from Johann but it is not here?????

Hi Hans,

Johann Z.. left a comment on the following article:

Is speaking to yourself out loud a sign of mental illness ?
A friend of mine told me that she would not visit groups anymore because she felt as if we are just speaking to ourselves! Now how about C2NN! I cannot see any difference to groups! This news is just for us, a small circle of friends and or members!


Comment:

Self talk can be healthy! Self Talk Develop the Habit of Healthy Self -Talk! by Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D. "I shouldn't have eaten that chocolate cake! I'm so stupid. I'm just a hopeless case. My family stresses me out and undermines my self-control. I'll never get down to a size 10. I should just give up! " Do you ever say things like this to yourself? This kind of thinking is called "negative self-talk." It sounds pretty dismal, doesn't it? Let's play the conversation again, this time with positive self-talk. "I wish I hadn't eaten that chocolate cake! It wasn't a good choice, and I'm smart enough to make good choices. Looking back, I realize I wasn't hungry. I was stressed, and I was only wanting to calm down. So how can I calm down in a healthy, positive way? I'm determined to get to size 10, and mistakes are just part of the learning process." Which is going to give you more motivation to maintain healthy habits---negative or positive self-talk? Self-talk is internal dialog---the words we use when we talk to ourselves. According to psychologist Dr. Shad Helmstetter, our self-talk reflects and creates our emotional states. You can feel calm or worried, depending on what you tell yourself. Your self-talk can influence your self-esteem, outlook, energy level, performance, and relationships with others. It can even affect your health, determining, for example, how you handle stressful events, or how easily you replace unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones. You can change your negative self-talk with awareness and practice. This article teaches you how to recognize negative self-talk, and how to develop the habit of positive self-talk. Below are some types of negative self-talk, paired with positive alternatives. Replace the Negative with the Positive Focusing only on problems: This is the essence of complaining. We dwell on the problem, instead of solutions. Instead: Assume most problems have solutions, and ask "How do I want this situation to be different?" Catastrophizing: Every bad thing that happens is a horrible disaster. Instead: Be realistic in your assessment and stop scaring yourself. Yes, bad things do happen, and many bad things are often inconveniences, mistakes, and foul-ups---not necessarily traumas, tragedies, or disasters. Expecting the worst: "What if he doesn't like me?" "What if I don't pass the exam?" Expecting the worst does not encourage you to behave effectively. Expecting the worst only promotes anxiety. Instead: Ask questions that presuppose positive outcomes. "How can I make a favorable impression?" "How can I prepare for the exam?" Stereotyping: By putting others, and ourselves, into preconceived categories, we avoid thinking of people as unique individuals. This leads to strained relationships, and gives us an undeserved sense of superiority or inferiority. It also often deprives us of opportunities to know and understand the giftedness of those whom we stereotype. Instead: Remind yourself that we are all human beings, with unique personalities, each having qualities and shortcomings. Shoulds: Should, ought, must, have to... used carelessly, these words presuppose rules and standards for behavior that do not exist in reality. They imply a consequence for noncompliance, and often evoke quilt. For example, according to the law, we "should" obey posted speed limits, or pay a fine. Is it equally true that "I should be smarter than I am." or "I ought to be married by now."?--Of course not! Instead: Replace the words should, ought, or must with the word "COULD" and realize the gift of choices. Thinking in Absolutes: We exaggerate reality with words like "always," "never," and "everyone," as in "I always eat too much--I will never be slim." Instead: Replace exaggeration with words that more accurately reflect reality. Example "I often eat more than I need, but I can change that." All or Nothing Thinking: We distort reality by thinking only in extremes. Our efforts become total failures or complete successes---with nothing in between. Example: "Either I lose two pounds by Sunday, or I quit exercising." Instead: Chunk down your perceptions to see the parts of the whole, which can be positive, negative, and in-between. Give yourself options or choices whenever possible. Example: "I want to lose two pounds by Sunday. Even one pound would indicate that exercise is helping. If my weight stays the same, I'll experiment with variations in nutrition and exercise until I reach my goal." Negative labels: Negative labels are the tools we use to lower self-esteem in ourselves and others. Example: "I'm stupid," or "I'm fat." When we say phrases like these often, they become a part of our identity and we can begin to dislike who we are. Instead: Remember, people are not their faults or shortcomings. You may engage in stupid behavior occasionally, but that doesn't make you a stupid person. Change your negative "I-am" statement into a statement about behaviors. Example: "I make unhealthy choices when it comes to food." It's easier to change a behavior, than to change your identity. Blaming: We assign guilt, instead of solving the problem. If we can blame others, then we can feel vindicated in a wrong-doing, and avoid responsibility. Instead: Focus on what YOU can do to promote a solution to the problem. "Yes but..." Arguments: When someone offers a possible solution to our problems, we "yes but..." and list reasons why the proposed solution won't work. "Yes but..." says "I'm really not listening to you right now." Instead: Open up to new possibilities and consider alternatives. Really listen to advice and give it a fair hearing, before dismissing it so quickly. Overgeneralizing: This is similar to stereotyping and thinking in absolutes. It means that we take a single instance or occurrence, and generalize it to numerous other situations. Example: "Joe is a nice man, and he doesn't want to date me. Therefore: No nice man will ever want to date me." When misused, this kind of generalizing can lead to illogical conclusions. Instead: Ask yourself whether there could be exceptions to your generalization. Does a single occurrence mean it will happen every time? Now you know what negative self-talk sounds like. Negative self-talk is usually a mixture of half-truths, poor logic, and distortions of reality that perpetuates negative emotions, such as pessimism, guilt, fear, and anxiety. It often occurs when in times of emotional turmoil, or when we are going through stress or a personal transition. When you catch your negative self-talk, take a deep breath, relax, and remove yourself from the situation. Get up and stretch, or take a walk, or get a drink of water, in order to interrupt your train of thought and get out of the negative rut. Write down some of your negative thoughts and then ask yourself "Are the things I'm saying true? Are there other possibilities and meanings that I could get from these circumstances?" Then replace your negative thoughts with realistic, positive thoughts---and write those down too. Soon you'll stop that self-talk in mid-sentence. If you have difficulty changing your self-talk, you may have clinical depression, and a psychotherapist could help you. Affirmations One way to reprogram your self-talk is by repeating positive affirmations until you begin to get a good sense of what positive thinking really sounds like. After all, much self-talk is actually negative affirmations. Our emotions, perceptions, and behaviors are shaped by our most dominant thoughts. Advocates of affirmations theorize that our frequent thoughts represent goals which the subconscious mind strives to actualize. What we most often tell ourselves can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you want to explore the power of positive affirmations, follow these guidelines. 1. Personalize your affirmations with with words like "I," "me," and "my." You can't always control circumstances or other people, so make your affirmations about what you can control---yourself. Make your affirmations state your own goals, wants, and values---not someone else's. 2. Some authors say affirmations are best stated in the present tense, because, if affirmations are in future tense ("I will...") your subconscious mind feels no urgency to act NOW. If you feel hypocritical stating affirmations in the present tense (as in "I am slender and healthy") then state your affirmations as a process (as in "Each day I am become more slender and healthier.") 3. Make your affirmations believable and realistic so that you can say them with sincerity. Begin with small, easily achievable goals, and work your way up to bigger accomplishments. "My self control is perfect." is probably more believable as "I have self-control most of the time." 4. State affirmations in the positive. To say "I don't eat fatty foods," only focuses your attention on the behavior you want to avoid. Instead say "I eat nutritious foods." 5. Make affirmations short and easy to remember. Catchy slogans stay with us longer than essays. 6. Repeat your positive affirmations often and positive thinking will become routine. To maintain positive self-talk, fill your mind with uplifting ideas. Recognize your strengths. Comfort yourself when things go wrong. Let your self-talk be like the soothing, supportive words of a counselor, friend, or mentor. As you improve your self-talk, commit to changing your actions accordingly. Lasting accomplishments come when we change our behaviors as well as our thinking. Copyright 2000 - Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D. Permission for use granted to Healthy Habits Parts of this article appear in the book: Healthy Habits
 

Hans L. (958)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 12:43 pm
This glitch is just weird! What a mess!
 

Moone Kelly (0)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 1:50 pm
I talk to myself all the time and sometimes I even debate with myself, but you know what, I've sorted a lot of things out and put a lot more life choices into perspective that I wouldn't have otherwise. So many people today are self centred and when we share our conversation most people aren't really listening to each other. At least when I talk to myself I know one person is listening...... ME!
 

Betsy A. (36)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 3:17 pm
ty
 

Sandy v. (91)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 5:10 pm
I TALK TO MYSELF BECAUSE I WANT AN INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION. WHATS WRONG WITH THAT. IN MY HOUSE I HAVE TO TALK TO MYSELF
 

Marjorie M. (81)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 9:35 pm
Right on Sandy V. I spend a lot of time alone so I talk to myself, my cats and my dog. Everyone agrees with me!! And, I get good answers to my questions.
 

JOSSIE ROSS (62)
Sunday September 21, 2008, 11:00 pm
YEP, HANS, I TALK TO MYSELF OUTLOAD, SELF POSITIVE CRITICAL & I AM MENTALLY FIT...LOLLLL.......JOSSIE &THANKS.....
 

Hans L. (958)
Monday September 22, 2008, 3:32 am
Somehow what the C2NN storyfinders do is self talk, since the audience is allways the same and somehow after a few months what news is there to tell? To somebody you know since the day you were born! I think that speaking to yourself at home is good if you do it on the street it could cause troubles...they are coming to take you away haha...

They should come and take us away for speaking to ourself here in the Care2 news and in the Care2 groups to!
 

Hans L. (958)
Monday September 22, 2008, 4:18 am


Dear Jossie i know that the active members must all be crazy here in Care2....Why else would we not only talk to ourself but also write news for ourself? I mean did you ever write a letter to yourself? I know some people who think this is a great idea!!!

 

Sharon Froehlich (99)
Monday September 22, 2008, 6:41 am
Hans, I talk to myself all the time and even debate myself. How else to stimulate thinking? But I agree that Care2 does not reach anyone on the outside-and there are no debates because you join a group that reflects your views and any challengers are deleted. No one sees Care2 news except us. Challenge anything too much and POOF you will be deleted! it's very sad.
Mairead
 

Fran Cannon (477)
Monday September 22, 2008, 11:46 am
I have a habit of 'thinking outloud' almost everyday. Even when I'm not on care2, even though I'm on here 6 hrs or more a day. I wish I could share care2 with others who aren't interested. I have invited a few friends, who are on here .but don't contribute.I wish care2 could reach the outside. I talk to myself about some topics in here too. :)
 

Gayla S. (50)
Monday September 22, 2008, 2:52 pm
Hans and Johann Z., I believe that we all got the msg. I am a student of Gerontology, the study of aging, and generally speaking, in the U.S. it seems stereotypical that older folks tend to talk to themselves more", this may be due to Sandy V's comment re: an intelligent conversation. Fortunately, one can't get in trouble for one's own thoughts. However, these "thoughts" if spoken aloud could get one in trouble. Therefore, my conclusion, having worked with the seniors of TX., is you are safest talking to yourself. Many thanks for bringing this topic to others attention.
 
Or, log in with your
Facebook account:
Please add your comment: (plain text only please. Allowable HTML: <a>)

Track Comments: Notify me with a personal message when other people comment on this story


Loading Noted By...Please Wait

 

 
Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of Care2.com or its affiliates.