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Short Tales From Bizarro World: The GOP Primaries Edition

US Politics & Gov't  (tags: americans, candidates, elections, republicans )

- 2325 days ago -
Mitt Romney and Kid Rock. Throw them together with Fred Phelps and the ghost of Lee Atwater, and you'd have the most phenomenally deranged golf foursome in the history of the universe. ** A must read, by William Rivers Pitt, so funny.

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Kit B (276)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 6:59 pm

William Rivers Pitt hits a home run with his funny analyzing of the current republican candidates. Mitt finds a song, Newt jumping with glee over current poll number and Bachmann may pull out Iowa. If you feel like a good laugh, please read this, it's a real circus out there. We only have about 40,000 more debates to go.

Terry King (113)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 7:20 pm
The single most resonant word for me was "Venom." From the moment Obama was elected the Republican strategy has been to poison the collective well!

Kit B (276)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 7:28 pm

Ya got that right, Terry! And it is a collective well.

TomCat S (129)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 7:28 pm
Kudos to Terry!

Susan L (150)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 7:36 pm
Terribly funny and terrible possibility all in one. Terry is right, Venom is the word... after all the 'venomous' attacks on each other have played-out and there is finally ONE terrible, candidate to run as a RepubliTea, our only choice is gonna be Obama. We can all keep our fingers crossed that there will be a reasonable third candidate in the race.

pam w (139)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 8:32 pm
"it could be the fact that Mitt has on occasion held positions that were not to the right of Genghis Khan,"

++++++++++++++ I laughed so hard...the dog came in to see what was happening!


Tom H (37)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 9:05 pm
Love that Pitts! Wit never tasted so good.

Past Member (0)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 9:30 pm
It's nice to know others feel the same way I do about the political's the comedy of the day.

Susanne R (234)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 10:01 pm
I don't know about anyone else, but I think that seeing Newt participate in a debate moderated by the Donald would be great fun! Two strong personalities with monumental egos are bound to end up trying to "outdo" (and I wasn't referring to the Donald's hair) one another.

Great article, Kit! Very funny and informative. Thanks for posting it!

Suruna WTF (38)
Sunday December 11, 2011, 11:02 pm
Hysterical. He captured each of the 'loonies' so well. I would only add that for those who think that this would be a good time to pursue an alternative to Obama, they should consider that thought premature. We need to take the House and strengthen the Senate with those that understand and respect our prerogatives. Are we ready, and is this a propitious time for a third party candidate? We could be shooting ourselves in the foot. Obama looks to be a slam dunk.

Norm C (74)
Monday December 12, 2011, 12:46 am
Puleeeaaase, GOP, nominate Newt the Coot so we may give him the boot.

But let us not underestimate the craven, cynical dishonesty of the right-wing wheelers and dealers. This election will be awash in so much cash that few will be able to tread liquidity (money as SCOTUS authorized speech) long enough to retain any semblance of sanity. Darl Rove has already put out two attack ads against Elizabeth Warren that contradict each other: he says she's an Occupier who is too cozy with Wall Street.

These folks are so craven they will claim anything, and we will see their utter dishonesty time after time after time because they will have the money to lie, lie, lie all over our airwaves, our cars and our living rooms.

Get out the shovels, Mama. The s#!+ is on its way!

Cynthia Davis (340)
Monday December 12, 2011, 3:27 am
TY Kit, This made my day.

lee e (114)
Monday December 12, 2011, 4:21 am
I didn't get to see this till today (mon) - A great way to start the week! Thanks Kit - so funny! I'ts frightening, but true - a reality show that is fodder for the humorist, the only problem is it's true - which makes it fodder for Wes Craven as well!

patricia lasek (317)
Monday December 12, 2011, 6:00 am
Pitt nailed it. They are all tripping over each other to be more extreme. The scary part is that one of these buffoons could be elected by the demented voters who watch FAUX noise.

I take consolation that the most recent Marist poll in NC had Pres. Obama beating every RepublicanT possible candidate if the elections were held now. NC has not voted for a Democratic candidate for Pres since Jimmy Cater in 1976 and before that it was JFK in 1960.

Are they finally waking up?

Past Member (0)
Monday December 12, 2011, 6:01 am
hey guys, you can get your very own newt !!

Vallee R (280)
Monday December 12, 2011, 7:19 am
Thanks Victoria-

Thanks - Kit - even got a laugh out of me with a migraine coming on.

Gary C (5)
Monday December 12, 2011, 7:49 am
Noted thankyou......

Past Member (0)
Monday December 12, 2011, 10:38 am
I wonder about the mental health of these dudes and dames?

But, they keep me amused.

Kit B (276)
Monday December 12, 2011, 1:22 pm

Great comments, and certainly after watching the debates and the many "interviews" if they can be called that, we can only laugh. I was worried the GOP might wake up a smell some reality, nah...they will go with one of the goof balls we've seen to date. I've seen some interviews with Gary Johnson and Buddy Roemer both are interesting men with ideas that are reasonable and moderate. Of course these guys are not allowed near the republican debates. If it is Newt the Coot that gets the boot (thanks for that one, Norm) then we will owe the GOP a hearty thanks.

Yvonne White (229)
Monday December 12, 2011, 6:01 pm
"...Speaking of Rock & Roll Mitt, Derpy Rick, Hopeless Herman and Manic Michele, let us all bow our heads in a moment of thanks to the Republican brain trust, who surveyed the field of dimwits, lunatics, ego-trippers and plain fools vying to carry the banner for their party, and said, "You know what'd be great? Let's have these people participate in 43,212 nationally-televised debates! What could possibly go wrong?"...
Great article! But I hated the Curse at the end: "May you live in interesting times."!!!!!!:(


Terrie Williams (798)
Tuesday December 13, 2011, 10:40 am
I'm still chuckling here.....

Thanks, Kit.

Phil R (29)
Tuesday December 13, 2011, 7:34 pm
I think this adequately describes the Repub primary candidates...
"......they will have finally and forever earned the mantle, in the immortal words of Douglas Adams, of being "a bunch of raving nutters."

I've seen some of the "debates"'s like watching a train wreck, it's horrifying, but you just can't tear your eyes away!

Past Member (0)
Thursday December 15, 2011, 9:17 pm
And the more deranged the GOPs become the louder they proclaims "We are Christains". B.S.!!!

You sure woldn't like it if they were acting like FOOLS! and proclaiming "We are sceptics. We are atheists."
If they tried that the atheists wouldn't stand for it.

Unfortunately, many peaceful, loving Christians just accept this abuse.

I don't.

But I respect you and I love you and I work with you giving alll I have to Care2.

I've been abused most of my 69 years. I'm just not taking it any more.
I have my voice and I am using it. Much of that is thanks to my friends
and associates with Care2.

You have taught me to speak up for what I believe.


Thank you, each and everyone of you, regardless of your personal beliefs.,

Let us work together for the causes on which we agree,.
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