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Voters Slowly Realizing Santorum Believes Every Deranged Word That Comes Out Of His Mouth


Offbeat  (tags: americans, culture, funny, humor, society )

Kit
- 918 days ago - theonion.com
As Rick Santorum has emerged to become Mitt Romney's leading opponent for the Republican presidential nomination, the American electorate said Monday it had slowly begun to realize that the former Pennsylvania senator sincerely believes every deranged-->



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Comments

Kit B. (276)
Monday March 12, 2012, 2:13 pm

WARNING --- ONION NEWS -- HUMOR ***

As Rick Santorum has emerged to become Mitt Romney's leading opponent for the Republican presidential nomination, the American electorate said Monday it had slowly begun to realize that the former Pennsylvania senator sincerely believes every deranged word that exits his mouth.

Uneasy voters told reporters it was becoming more and more evident that comments from Santorum defending sodomy laws as acceptable restrictions on "wants and passions" and characterizing pregnancy occurring through rape as a "gift" from God were not politically calculated but were, in fact, spoken out of sincere, startling conviction.
***

Ya gotta read the full article. LOL!!!
 

Kimberly McMahen (25)
Monday March 12, 2012, 2:20 pm
This man scares me to death.
 

pam w. (191)
Monday March 12, 2012, 3:27 pm
Humor often has a kernel of real truth. Rick Santorum is as nuts as any other religious fanatic.
 

Yvonne White (231)
Monday March 12, 2012, 3:53 pm
LOL! Are you Absolutely Certain this is JUST satire????;)
 

Terrie Williams (769)
Monday March 12, 2012, 4:21 pm
You and me both, Kimberly! We have to keep him as far away from the White House as possible.
 

Kit B. (276)
Monday March 12, 2012, 4:27 pm

This is humor, and no one is better for release laughter then Santorum, and yep it is meant to be satire.
 

Louise D. (38)
Monday March 12, 2012, 6:05 pm
Rick Santorum believes he is a warrior and a gent though everyone else really believes his head is full of excrement. As rants away in his homely attire people wonder if his pants will go on fire or he is beyond satire.
 

Carmen S. (611)
Monday March 12, 2012, 6:28 pm
thanks Kit
 

Phil R. (29)
Monday March 12, 2012, 7:11 pm
Republicans believe Santorum is more electable as a pathological liar than as a crazed religious fanatic? Sounds feasible to me! :)
 

Jim Phillips (3209)
Monday March 12, 2012, 7:16 pm
Makes me wonder what kinds of people are actually in tune, belief with Santorum in the first place...

Ty, Kit.
.
 

William K. (328)
Monday March 12, 2012, 7:27 pm
It seems that the only fictitious element to this satire is the notion that people are coming to realize that he believes the things he says. I think people already realize that, and either are shocked and horrified, or they are voting for him because they are as crazy as he is (Tennessee, Kansas and probably Mississippi tomorrow). That latter bit is what makes it especially scary for me.
 

Kit B. (276)
Monday March 12, 2012, 7:30 pm

It is very scary, but I have to believe that he would carry no more then about 30% of the electorate. Still to think that 30% of our country is that nuts is also very scary.
 

Esther Z. (101)
Monday March 12, 2012, 7:34 pm
It's satire, I know, but it's still scary 'cause Santorum's spoofing is not far from the truth!
 

Sue D. (156)
Monday March 12, 2012, 7:41 pm
I think Pam and Yvonne said it for me!
 

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Past Member (0)
Monday March 12, 2012, 7:46 pm
Behold, I see a vision.

God is sitting in his armchair, (thrones aren't comfortable) staring at Santorum giving him the blame for the insanities belching forth from his politicians mouth.

God's hand is raised and the middle finger is up!
 

Lynne Buckley (0)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 2:32 am
I don't know why it has taken people so long to realise that this guy is an idiot and a disgrace to America.
 

Quanta Kiran (65)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 3:05 am
Thanks.
 

John Gregoire (255)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 6:23 am
Well positioned in "offbeat" although "weird" would be more fitting.
 

Sandi C. (236)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 7:56 am
ARE THEY FINALLY WAKING UP!
 

Terry King (108)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 8:26 am
Have you noticed that the "news" in the Onion is becoming more plausable than the "news" on Fox?
 

Tim C. (1885)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 9:48 am
ty
 

Susanne R. (249)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 10:05 am
What scares me is that many voters believe every deranged word that comes out of his mouth! While it's laughable that they take him seriously, it won't be laughable if he wins the Republican nomination...
 

Thomas H. (36)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 11:00 am
Well, Alabammer has open primaries, giving opponents a chance to split votes (in Alabammer, that's why this system exists in the first place). So. I will vote later today. And this article seals my resolve to have a little fun and vote for the most maniacally insane candy date so that Obama's landslide win in November will inspire more incoherent, spittle-filled invective from the white population of the Twin States. Thank you, Kit! This helped to make up my mind.
 

Nancy M. (201)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 1:17 pm
All right, you got me. I thought the headline was true.

Scarier, the fact that it is NOT true.

(He makes me want to throw up)
 

Kit B. (276)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 1:20 pm

Well Nancy - Santorum thinks it's true or at least he thinks he's right. He is not just catholic he is Opus-Dei, so why wouldn't he sound crazy to the rest of us?
 

monka blank (74)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 2:23 pm
OMG, Opus-Dei is even worse. I wish he would shut up.
 

Sue D. (156)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 2:33 pm
Terry, you are absolutely right. It becomes more and more difficult to determine if we are hearing satire or completely absurd truths. It's not surprising that some didn't readily recognize this as satire - when truth really is stranger than fiction.

Kit, I had to look that up, thanks for the 'word of the day' (for me). I see it is a real organization within the Catholic Church.... now, since it is so controversial, is this something Santorum actually admits to being a part of? It sounds even as extreme as "Fundamentalist" as, say, Taliban - or ANY of the **other** ones that Americans, especially, are afraid of. Not that there is not good reason to worry about any extreme views, but it is also worrisome that there are those who can't see this as "equally" worrisome.
 

Sue Matheson (71)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 2:49 pm
oh good grief.
 

Kit B. (276)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 2:55 pm

Sue, he sent 2 of his sons to the Opus Dei school in DC. Then in 2002(?) he and his family made a pilgrimage to the Vatican to honor the centennial of Opus Dei. I would say that speaks loudly for what Santorum believes.

* I may have that year wrong, but the full story with notations for research are posted at: liesmycountrytoldme.com/
 

Robert O. (12)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 4:55 pm
Well better late than never I suppose, though it's been apparent to many from the start that he is delusional and like most GOP-ers, blinded by their own hubris to the point of not seeing anything else. Thanks Kit.
 

Sue D. (156)
Tuesday March 13, 2012, 7:24 pm
Thanks Kit. I did continue to check the whole thing out and read some more about "Mr. Santorum" and his beliefs. I will read the "lies" page too though.

I suppose I "might" understand how a man "Priest" (or other religious leader) might have his selfish + "religious" reasons for wanting everyone to believe like him, follow his religion, and de-value women as a whole. I can't for the life of me understand "why" any **normal** man would want his girl children, sisters, wife, mother, to be looked at so hatefully, like only something to by "used" by other men. That is EXACTLY what this kind of attitude promotes! Santorum, I guess, decided that his father-in-law so diligently raised such a perfect subservient daughter that he simple must produce children that have no personal value unless they are boys. I feel sorry for his wife and daughters that will never know any better than servitude.
 

Robert B. (57)
Wednesday March 14, 2012, 10:55 am
They also laughed at Hitler before he seized power. Beware of madmen.
 

Kit B. (276)
Wednesday March 14, 2012, 11:10 am

Just look at the conditions of the times, Mussolini came to power because of financial crisis and Hitler just followed his lead. Times of financial crisis makes people afraid, fear leads them to make really terrible decisions about leadership.
 
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