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Poll: By Wide Margin, Democrats Want Biden in All Remaining Debates -- Andy Borowitz


Offbeat  (tags: americans, candidates, debate, education, election, funny, off-beat, performance, society )

Kit
- 710 days ago - newyorker.com
In a poll of Democratic voters taken immediately following Thursday night's Vice-Presidential debate, a wide majority said they wanted Vice-President Joe Biden to appear in all remaining 2012 debates. ***Humor***



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Kit B. (276)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 6:24 am
(Photograph by Saul Loeb/Getty.)

DANVILLE, KY (The Borowitz Report)—In a poll of Democratic voters taken immediately following Thursday night’s Vice-Presidential debate, a wide majority said they wanted Vice-President Joe Biden to appear in all remaining 2012 debates.


According to the constitutional scholar Davis Logsdon, of the University of Minnesota, the scenario of Mr. Biden appearing in all the remaining debates, while surely unorthodox, is within the realm of possibility: “According to the Constitution, the Vice-President steps in when the President is unable to fulfill his duties. Based on the first debate, that seems to be the case.”

Mr. Biden got off to a strong start in the debate, which began with moderator Martha Raddatz asking him and Rep. Paul Ryan, “Gentlemen, first question: To the best of your ability, smirk sarcastically at your opponent.”

The Vice-President rose to that challenge, smiling broadly and snickering throughout all of Mr. Ryan’s answers, and characterizing them with virtually every Irish synonym for shit.

Mr. Biden’s performance clearly wowed the Democratic voters in the post-debate poll, as ninety per cent of them “strongly agreed” with the statement, “Obama should crush a little bit of Joe Biden into a joint and smoke it.”
*****
By Andy Borowitz - The New Yorker Magazine

 

JL A. (275)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 7:21 am
Thanks for the marvelous laughs to enhance the day Kit! AB always has a unique and surprising twist I welcome.
 

Surunatik WTF (38)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 8:35 am
Another humorous entry ~

Courtesy of The Stephanie Miller Show:

Ryan comes out, "Good evening Mr. Vice President." Joe nods and responds, "Congressman, 'pull my finger'."
 

Craig Pittman (45)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 9:04 am
Uplifting story - difficult to come by when referencing politics. VP Biden has an infectious smile and makes good sense and possess excellent composure.
 

Tamara Noforwardsplz (185)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 10:05 am
LMAO! Thanks for the humor Kit, as always, it tickled my funny bone!
 

Kit B. (276)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 10:24 am

A quick look at one part of the debate by Matt Tiabbi | Rolling Stone Magazine | excerpt from full article:

The essence of the whole campaign for me was crystalized in the debate exchange over Romney's 20 percent tax-cut plan. ABC's Martha Raddatz turned the questioning to Ryan:

-MS. RADDATZ: Well, let's talk about this 20 percent.

*VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: Well - (chuckles) -

-MS. RADDATZ: You have refused yet again to offer specifics on how you pay for that 20 percent across-the-board tax cut. Do you actually have the specifics, or are you still working on it, and that's why you won't tell voters?

Here Ryan is presented with a simple yes-or-no answer. Since he doesn't have the answer, he immediately starts slithering and equivocating:

*REP. RYAN: Different than this administration, we actually want to have big bipartisan agreements. You see, I understand the -

"We want to have bipartisan agreements?" This coming from a Republican congressman? These guys would stall a bill to name a post office after Shirley Temple. Biden, absolutely properly, chuckled and said, "That'd be a first for a Republican congress." Then Raddatz did exactly what any self-respecting journalist should do in that situation: she objected to being lied to, and yanked on the leash, forcing Ryan back to the question.

I'm convinced Raddatz wouldn't have pounced on Ryan if he hadn't trotted out this preposterous line about bipartisanism. Where does Ryan think we've all been living, Mars? It's one thing to pull that on some crowd of unsuspecting voters that hasn't followed politics that much and doesn't know the history. But any professional political journalist knows enough to know the abject comedy of that line. Still, Ryan was banking on the moderator not getting in the way and just letting him dump his trash on audiences. Instead, she aggressively grabbed Ryan by his puppy-scruff and pushed him back into the mess of his own proposal:

-MS. RADDATZ: Do you have the specifics? Do you have the math? Do you know exactly what you're doing?

So now the ball is in Ryan's court. The answer he gives is astounding:

*REP. RYAN: Look - look at what Mitt - look at what Ronald Reagan and Tip O'Neill did. They worked together out of a framework to lower tax rates and broaden the base, and they worked together to fix that. What we're saying is here's our framework: Lower tax rates 20 percent - we raise about $1.2 trillion through income taxes. We forgo about 1.1 trillion [dollars] in loopholes and deductions. And so what we're saying is deny those loopholes and deductions to higher-income taxpayers so that more of their income is taxed, which has a broader base of taxation -

Three things about this answer:

1) Ryan again here refuses to answer Raddatz's yes-or-no question about specifics. So now we know the answer: there are no specifics.

2) In lieu of those nonexistent specifics, what Ryan basically says is that he and Romney will set the framework - "Lower taxes by 20 percent" - and then they'll work out the specifics of how to get there with the Democrats in bipartisan fashion.

3) So essentially, Ryan has just admitted on national television that the Romney tax plan will be worked out after the election with the same Democrats from whom they are now, before the election, hiding any and all details.

So then, after that, there's this exchange.

+VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: Can I translate?

*REP. RYAN: - so we can lower tax rates across the board. Now, here's why I'm saying this. What we're saying is here's a framework -

+VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: I hope I'm going to get time to respond to this.

*REP. RYAN: We want to work with Congress -

-MS. RADDATZ: I - you'll get time.

*REP. RYAN: We want to work with Congress on how best to achieve this. That means successful - look -

-MS. RADDATZ: No specifics, yeah.

Raddatz did exactly the right thing. She asked a yes-or-no question, had a politician try to run the lamest kind of game on her - and when he was done, she called him on it, coming right back to the question and translating for viewers: "No specifics."

Think about what that means. Mitt Romney is running for president - for president! - promising an across-the-board 20 percent tax cut without offering any details about how that's going to be paid for. Forget being battered by the press, he and his little sidekick Ryan should both be tossed off the playing field for even trying something like that. This race for the White House, this isn't some frat prank. This is serious. This is for grownups, for God's sake.

If you're going to offer an across-the-board 20 percent tax cut without explaining how it's getting paid for, hell, why stop there? Why not just offer everyone over 18 a 1965 Mustang? Why not promise every child a Zagnut and an Xbox, or compatible mates for every lonely single person?
**********

They want to wait to discuss this with Congress after the election, now how is that for transparency? You? You are just the voter and the tax payer, this is none of you business.
 

Robert S. (115)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 10:44 am
I spent the first part of the debate yelling at the screen...imploring Biden to stop smirking....and the rest of the time saying YES! Eat THAT Teabagger! Choke on some facts Republiscum!

Thanks Mr. Biden. Great post Kit.
 

Gene Jacobson (252)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 12:50 pm
I agree, I love Joe and I loved his performance. I only hope the President follows Joe's example and speaks the truth no matter how outrageous the lies Mitt comes up with. Mitt memorizes nonsense, he doesn't understand anything beyond the surface, he IS as shallow as he seems. Lawrence O'Donnell said this last night, do we, the people want to elect a 'memorizer in chief' or a 'commander in chief' and that is the difference between the President and Romney. The president actually thinks before he answers, Mitt just regurgitates some nonsense he memorized whether it is relevant or not. Elect that? I don't think so.
 

Joanne Dixon (38)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 1:44 pm
Another take on the "Trust us" position the Romney-Ryan ticket is selling:

http://www.upworthy.com/these-words-of-warning-from-fdr-still-ring-eerily-true-today
 

Lin Penrose (92)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 7:11 pm
Noted, thanks Kit for the laughs and some fun truths. Wonderful observations and comments here.
 

Lois Jordan (56)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 10:19 pm
Noted & thanks, Kit. That was hilarious. Loved your posting by Taibbi, too.
I read Taibbi's article at the Rolling Stone website the day after debate....I'd never seen so many comments there--it was shocking. Partway down, someone commented that the paid trolls were out in full force. After reading some comments, I realized he was sure right. They were plastered all over like I'd never seen before! This gives me an indication of how desperate the GOP is.
 

Susanne R. (249)
Saturday October 13, 2012, 11:02 pm
Great post, Kit! And thanks for posting Matt Taibi's article. He was absolutely right! Ms. Raddatz did the right thing by pressing Paul Ryan for details regarding the 20% across-the-board tax cut! You can't just present a solution without also presenting a viable plan to implement that solution and expect the public to accept you at word. They can't even get away with that in high school debates! A specific plan has to be outlined in great detail backed by solid resources, which plan can then be questioned by the opposing team. Ms. Raddatz did her job, and she did it well --and so did Joe! I was uncomfortable with his smirking and was afraid that it would provide fodder for his detractors. Then I thought about his detractors. They're always making jokes about him: they call him a gaffe machine, someone who likes the taste of his own foot, and the crazy old uncle you hide in your closet when people come over. It was his turn to shine and show those detractors that his many years of experience, and the knowledge and wisdom those many years of real-time experience have afforded him, have served him and our country well. He was right on top of Ryan --no matter what the subject.

I believe that Matt Taibi is going to be a guest on Real Time w/Bill Maher next friday. He used to appear quite regularly and then stopped --and I really missed him. It'll be nice to see him again --and I'm sure he'll have a lot to say!
 

John Gregoire (255)
Sunday October 14, 2012, 5:44 am
LMAO-he captured Biden perfectly
 

Abdessalam Diab (154)
Sunday October 14, 2012, 7:53 am
I watched a part of the debate.Biden was more than great.He did his homework pretty well before and during the debate.His smile was enough to defeat Paul Ryan. Thanks Kit for this post.
 

Cynthia Davis (340)
Sunday October 14, 2012, 8:34 am
I thought Biden made Ryan look pretty stupid when he had to keep telling him that we have less American troops in Afghanistan because they were being replace by American trained Afghans. He keep having to repeat he's self because Ryan didn't seem to be getting the point.

 

Phil R. (29)
Sunday October 14, 2012, 9:24 am

Perhaps this best sums up the results of the debate.....
http://mariopiperni.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Ryan_Lyin_Malarkey.jpg
 

Jo Ellen H. (3)
Sunday October 14, 2012, 10:19 am
thanks
 

Terrie Williams (771)
Sunday October 14, 2012, 12:04 pm
Love me some Uncle Joe!

Now, if only the Pres would let his inner Pit Bull of its choke chain and latch onto Mittens like he was a fresh beef bone......I'll really be lovin it! The time for Mr. Nice Guy with a beautiful, genuine smile being polite and courteous to his opponent.....is OVER. It is time to fight for all he's worth for the American people, for his policies, for what's left of this Democracy.
 

Dandelion G. (382)
Sunday October 14, 2012, 12:39 pm
I have always wished from the get go that the two men held the opposite positions and we had Bidden for President. He knows his stuff and was a very experienced person in Washington.
 

Deborah W. (6)
Monday October 15, 2012, 10:39 am
Is Obama so inept on his own that a feeling of need to include Biden in the debates has been put out there? Sad indeed.
 

Robert S. (115)
Monday October 15, 2012, 11:51 am
I look forward to tomorrow. Though it ridiculous how much importance many place on debate performance... Obama will do just fine.
 

Kamila A. (141)
Monday October 15, 2012, 9:44 pm
Deborah, get a clue.
Rlling Stone has had some great, hard-hitting articles exposing the hypocrisy and plain idiocy of the Romney campaign. I wish Biden would debate again, but hopefully Mr. Obama will be more motivated tomorrow after his first one.
 

Jennifer C. (172)
Tuesday October 16, 2012, 5:44 am
Thanks.
 
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