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BP CEO: 'We Deeply Regret The Tragic Loss Of $4.5 Billion' **ONION NEWS**

Offbeat  (tags: americans, bizarre, business, culture, environment, government, humor, off-beat, world )

- 2039 days ago -
Dudley told reporters that while he feels "tremendous sorrow over losing $4.5 billion," he's just thankful it only amounts to 1 percent of the company's gross revenue for 2011. **HUMOR**ONION NEWS**

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Vicky P (476)
Monday November 19, 2012, 4:46 pm
funny and sad, lol

JL A (281)
Monday November 19, 2012, 4:46 pm
Funny, somehow I can believe an executive staff meeting where similar statements might have been made where protecting this part of BP was viewed as the 'prime directive' without real regard for the environmental and economic damaged others experienced...wonder whether certain industries can be required to become B Corps to mitigate this scenario ever being actual?

Kit B (276)
Monday November 19, 2012, 5:46 pm

I think that fines equal to one years profits should be imposed on every oil, gas and coal company for these many "non-accidental" and permanent damages to our environment. We may still need oil for a while, we do not need these companies doing further damage to our planet.

Elle B (84)
Monday November 19, 2012, 9:24 pm
The top brass should be required to do the hands on clean-up and live in the affected areas permanently.

Daniel Partlow (179)
Monday November 19, 2012, 9:58 pm
How about BP deeply regreting all the damage and destruction they have caused? No only the loss of a bit of profit!!

Susanne R (235)
Monday November 19, 2012, 9:59 pm
How ironic that yet another accident occurred just a day after BP admitted criminal liability in the 2010 oil spill that devastated the Gulf of Mexico! As a result of this latest oil rig explosion, two people were killed, two are missing, and four are in critical condition. I would imagine that BP's quite happy that they don't have to deal with the financial consequences of another major oil spill. To them, that's reason to celebrate. Perhaps they'll give their CEO's a nice 200% raise.

Giana Peranio-paz (398)
Tuesday November 20, 2012, 2:09 am
They should be fines in a way that they "feel" the fine!!! Like the poor environment feels their pollution and destruction.

Past Member (0)
Tuesday November 20, 2012, 4:24 am

pam w (139)
Tuesday November 20, 2012, 6:19 am
Thanks....funny...with an underlying note of sadness. That's just NOTHING to B.P.

I understand there's a civil suit in preparation....THAT should be interesting. Where will they find a jury?

Tamara Hayes (185)
Tuesday November 20, 2012, 8:22 am
I am not prone to violence but his comment just made me violently angry! I wonder, what color does he like his snapper? And does he prefer ones with eyes or no eyes? Maybe he is a lover of dead coral? Perhaps he would like a shiny new coat of oil on his no doubt expensive car this Chrismas!

Nancy M (169)
Tuesday November 20, 2012, 12:21 pm
Funny or ironic?

Yvonne White (229)
Tuesday November 20, 2012, 1:28 pm
Tooooo realistic..;)

Past Member (0)
Wednesday November 21, 2012, 4:12 pm

Jelica R (144)
Wednesday November 21, 2012, 5:39 pm
I doubt that BP CEOs will give a single $ from their salaries, benefits and bonuses to compensate for the damages on the communities and environment.
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