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How Can We Fight Rape?

Society & Culture  (tags: abuse, activists, americans, children, corruption, crime, culture, dishonesty, education, ethics, family, freedoms, government, law, media, police, politics, religion, rights, safety, society, violence, women, world )

- 1885 days ago -
The emerging movement against rape and sexual assault is a welcome sign that people are fed up with violence against women--and a society that produces it.

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Kit B (276)
Thursday March 21, 2013, 1:11 pm
Photo: Protesters against victim-blaming at a New York SlutWalk protest in 2011 -

In an article for Ebony magazine, Maxwell expanded on what she meant, quoting Eesha Pandit, executive director of Men Stopping Violence. Pandit told her:

"The question that's being asked about what women can do to prevent violence against them is the wrong question. It's not what can a woman say or do that can prevent being attacked. We need to turn that paradigm upside down. We need to focus on the messages that men are getting and about how they relate to women."

Please go to VISIT SITE and read the full article. It needs to be read and may be read twice or three times until the message gets through. RAPE is crime, men who rape are criminals, no matter what part of society or celebrity status they have; once they commit the crime of rape, they are criminals.

We need to begin a real conversation about how to prevent rape, to look at the ugliness, what it does to woman, what it says about the men in our society. We need to honest.

Rose Becke (141)
Thursday March 21, 2013, 6:11 pm
The victim in the case was a woman with severe cerebral palsy who can't communicate verbally and, according to reports, has the "intellectual functional equivalent of a 3-year-old." Nevertheless, according to the highest state court in Connecticut, the victim didn't do enough to fight off her attacker--since she was supposedly capable of "biting, kicking, scratching, screeching, groaning or gesturing" her non-consent.

This legal "reasoning" is sickening--but the truth is it's only a more outrageous example of the kind of questioning survivors of sexual assault are routinely subjected to.

Rose Becke (141)
Thursday March 21, 2013, 6:12 pm
Kit, this does need to be read over as you say

Past Member (0)
Thursday March 21, 2013, 7:22 pm
Noted. Thank you for posting such news and threads.

Rape is a terrible crime to commit and I am sure such men will rot in hell. But women also have to take care of themselves, not to dress too provocatively. But really, at the end of the day, it is not women's fault . Such men have such problems with themselves and they were probably abused in the past. It is also the society's responsibility to warn people around and provide self-defense lessons.


JL A (281)
Thursday March 21, 2013, 7:33 pm
Assault is assault whether or not one can effectively fight.

pam w (139)
Thursday March 21, 2013, 7:33 pm
I sincerely hope it IS a sign that society is fed up with rapists.....but...then, there's Steubenville and the "OH THOSE POOR BOYS" attitudes on CNN.


Angelika R (143)
Thursday March 21, 2013, 11:11 pm
In the middle of reading this Care2 cut off its service "for maintenance", this time WITHOUT any pre-announcement!
I have seen that interview with Ms Maxwell before, think JL posted it some time ago.. I am tired, not up to commenting much now, so I'LL just say END THIS PATRIARCHY
Thx Kit.

Agnes N (703)
Friday March 22, 2013, 3:03 am
Thanks Kit..

Ro H (0)
Friday March 22, 2013, 6:55 am

Svetlana B (20)
Friday March 22, 2013, 7:16 am
Thanks noted

becka w (1)
Friday March 22, 2013, 7:18 am
WE are in fact RAPED for life as JUSTICE is all about everyone else making a living off the details THE person is overlooked.

Natalie S (13)
Friday March 22, 2013, 7:43 am
I think education is the key to changing mentalities about rape, although Court punishment does act a a deterrent, if it is strong enough. In addition, spreading the word as you are doing here raises consciousness and has its merits. Thanks for sharing!

Amy L (112)
Friday March 22, 2013, 8:16 am
Maybe they should take rapist, sex predators, pedophiles, and all other violent offenders for that matter, lobotomize them, permanently purge them from our society to a colony is some desolate hell hole to live out their miserable hateful lives together.

Gene J (290)
Friday March 22, 2013, 8:47 am
"Today, millions of people--men and women alike--are outraged and want to fight back against a society that produces sexual assault and victim-blaming."

In a society that calls itself "christian" in many ways, or free, simply free, millions of outraged people isn't enough. It should be unanimously agreed that this is criminal behavior, treated as such in ever instance, NO free passes to anyone, ever. It seems to me we are failing far sooner than we think. This "rape culture" doesn't just appear out of nowhere with puberty. It comes about because our society devalues women in every way, every day. So, perhaps the only answer is mandatory classes, EVERY YEAR from kindergarten on about the sanctity of human life and horrible wrong that happens when people do not respect each other because of race or creed. Children need be taught that interpersonal violence is ALWAYS wrong, except in defense of self or another. And you can't start that teaching at 12 or 13, it needs be ingrained long before that. And our laws should reflect that basic right in all instances, no justifications, no excuses. If you commit violence on another, you are going to jail. Always. There are NO conditions under which rape is acceptable, it doesn't matter, dress, state of mind, intoxication, anything, nothing makes it okay to rape. And those who take cell phone videos rather than STOP the crime are guilty of aiding and abetting and ought face judgment themselves. EVERY time. ALL of them. We get rid of this epidemic by refusing to tolerate it. EVER. We owe that to ourselves and to women, to humanity. Nothing less is enough.

Nancy M (197)
Friday March 22, 2013, 8:56 am
I have commented in another thread about the use of drugs and alcohol in many such cases. Alcohol in particular and it is UNDERAGE drinking when the kids at these parties are doing it.

I read a few days ago an article about "Jock Culture/ Rape Culture".

There is something to be said for this and for the whole mess in Steubenville.

Kit B (276)
Friday March 22, 2013, 8:58 am

May I also suggest that from the earliest of ages, children should be taught about their own bodies. How to and why to respect their own body and the body of all living creatures. We tell children to take a bath, how often do we tell them why? Why is it important to brush your teeth? If you begin with the basics, and children do not grow up ashamed of their own body, when the hormones go crazy, they will understand why and knowledge is power. It is impossible to ask a teenage to not respond to sexuality when no one has taught them what it actually is or what the true consequences are when they react without thinking. Both boys and girls need to know about themselves, and why they must learn to respect others.

Tim C (2420)
Friday March 22, 2013, 9:06 am

Dot A (182)
Friday March 22, 2013, 9:26 am
This last post by you, Kit, *Green Star* - is the cornerstone we all must turn. Pornography will also lose its edge, when we accept our gender, our sexuality, and our interactions as natural [with educated knowledge about our bodies, our human needs, and our cultural boundaries] and not something to hide, to feel embarrassment, to consider wild and illicit. Most crimes are done to challenge and defy our society, to rebel against a personal sense of bondage, to act out in some destructive 'language' that will get "Our Attention" -and sexual assault is done primarily (though not entirely) by males unto females, [a psychological battle between powers] - and our family dynamics, cities, societies, and nations set their own guidelines and expectations. It's quite a broad and complicated thread of ethical, moral standards, and emotional well-being blanket of consciousness,... But, with all of the world involved in this vital aspect of human interaction and legal ramifications, we can keep our attention on this subject, continue to learn and teach better behaviors, and see our future improve between all of humanity. It isn't just a gender issue.

Sandra ;atterson (59)
Friday March 22, 2013, 10:23 am
noted,thank you

Past Member (0)
Friday March 22, 2013, 11:21 am
Why can't these rapists be castrated???? And stop blaming and shaming the victims...Thanks Kit.

SuSanne P (193)
Friday March 22, 2013, 12:14 pm
My damn message is gone. I am not hopeful of things changing SOON ENOUGH in the future. I am sickened at what has, is and will continue to go on. As I've sent you a Star for the article (reading it twice as mentioned), I also send a star for your comment on how children SHOULD be taught by their parents.

S S (0)
Friday March 22, 2013, 12:21 pm
Thank you.

Dot A (182)
Friday March 22, 2013, 12:33 pm
The wounds go very deep with this crime~ Particularly the young are damaged in ways that an entire lifetime cannot erase. I too am a victim, and lived a harsh reality from birth to an unwed, ill prepared for life and motherhood single woman. In the years that followed a marriage took place, and hope springs eternal in young hearts,... But, with a couple of years, the revelation of an unhealthy stepfather took over my teenage years. I was a fighter, and still am, but, no matter, -while I kept him at bay, and feared my mother's wrath, once the truth became obvious, my mother took the common course of blaming the child she never wanted in the first place. This maneuver was to secure her own livelihood, of course, as surely she did not want to toss her bread winner to the side and try to live on her own. It was a family nightmare. Many people can relate. Yet, the healing from such wounds has left me compassionate towards all our humanity's struggles and sorrows. I learned volumes about life and the complications that relationships, society, and spiritual development, in the negative as well as the positive. I know that with kindness and proper guidance we can fight the good fight that will regain our good mental health and well-being, though probably never to the extent that an unscathed upbringing would have produced. This is a preventable tragedy!

Lois Jordan (63)
Friday March 22, 2013, 4:08 pm
Thank you, Kit. I agree that the lessons truly do start at home with parents. This is done not only with words, but by action. I saw my dad respect my mom, and she taught my brother to respect women. Yes, there is still way too much of the "Boys Club" locker room mentality permeating our society, and advertising that over-sexualizes everything in general. Where we are winning some battles, we must now concentrate on winning the war.

Connie O (44)
Friday March 22, 2013, 4:25 pm
thank you for an important issue

Birgit W (160)
Friday March 22, 2013, 6:59 pm
Thank you

Past Member (0)
Sunday March 24, 2013, 11:56 pm
The ever increasing amount of hardcore porn available everywhere will not help matters. Those videos have never depicted healthy relationships but rape, domination, humiliation and the likes. Yet, whenever there is a petition against this, everyone screams 'freedom of speech' etc etc.
So what can be done?

Past Member (0)
Monday March 25, 2013, 8:02 am
Has anyone noticed that alcohol is present in nearly every rape that occurs? What do you think would happen if all of America were to substitute cannabis for alcohol?

Kit B (276)
Monday March 25, 2013, 10:46 am

I may be wrong, but I don't think alcohol is present in every rape, mostly teen age rapes particularly those at parties. There is not one solution, and nothing will stop all crime or all rapes however, education, job opportunities, societal disapproval can all be contributing factors to reduce both rape and overall for crime.

Richard Anonymous (5)
Monday March 25, 2013, 3:01 pm
I am not trying to advocate simple-minded approaches or cruelty by saying this, but speaking as a male, I feel convinced that a return to corporal punishment for sex crime would have a big impact on the attitudes and behaviors of men and adolescent boys who are not mentally ill but just want to indulge themselves at a woman's expense. This is still the practice in modern nation such as Singapore where men and boys of at least sixteen years of age who sexually abuse women receive mandatory caning -- and the rate of sex crime is kept very low as a result. Up until the middle of the last century, some form of flogging, whether it involved a cat-o-nine tails on the back or a leather strap across the buttocks, was by judicial systems around the world to deter and punish sex crimes against women. If a man has indulged himself using his stronger body to harm a woman's body, it seems like poetic justice that part of the punishment (he should still spend time in custody in addition to being whipped) is applied directly to his body. I am not asking for some surreal torture scene from a movie, but can anyone say that a few sharp lashes, delivered as humanely as possible, on the back or buttocks would seem unreasonable?

Kit B (276)
Monday March 25, 2013, 3:19 pm

Maybe I'm just too American but, that idea deeply disturbs me. I brought my children up to believe and trust me when I said that violence engenders violence. I have not hit my children nor my students. I don't believe we actually teach non-violence by using violence.

That said, I would be lying if I said that a mental image of that is not somehow satisfying.

Barbara Tomlinson (431)
Monday March 25, 2013, 3:23 pm
Kit, in your case, we need to give out more than one Green Star per DAY!
Thank you for all you are doing here - and Activism on the problems that need to be seriously addressed.

The first thing is to SHINE THE CLEAR LIGHT OF DAY on what has been kept hidden.
The next thing is to APPLY REASON AND LOGIC AND SENSE to a very emotional issue.

Women are RISING UP all over the world; and realizing it is not just an issue confined to Muslim women, or "Western" women, or Christian women, or "Progressive" women, or women in India, or teenage women, or women in Africa, or Unmarried women, or Married women, or elderly women, or Nuns, or sexually-active women, or Students, or Mothers, or Working women, or women in poverty, or.....
Women are BREAKING DOWN THE BARRIERS THAT HAVE DIVIDED US, of Religion, Culture, Language, Class, Age, Status, and all the other artificial, human-made {"man-made" if you will, or human-made!} barriers separating us.

There is HOPE in this! for the world!

Barbara Tomlinson (431)
Monday March 25, 2013, 3:38 pm
Clarification of my post above:
Being subject to RAPE AND VIOLENCE, is, unfortunately, something that does unite ALL women. {Maybe not ruling Queens and politically powerful women! but on the other hand, maybe them too! It's been known to happen... }
There are no "protected" classes. There used to be this MYTH that there were; but these women were "owned" by the men in their lives, and only "protected" from the violence of supposedly "lower classes" of men, from "outsiders".
Women need to RECLAIM their power. There should be PSYCHOLOGICAL BARRIERS that would stop any would-be Rapist in his tracks {who wasn't a completely insane out-of-his-head Psychopath}. {Most Rapists are actually not very different from the guy-next-door, respected members of their community. They just don't regard what they do as "bad". They're NOT the guy that jumps out at you from behind a bush. They're somebody who's been MIS-educated...}

It is quite possible for Society, and for Women all acting together, to CREATE such Psychological Barriers and to raise children to observe them.
Rapists, in the form of athletic "heroes", should not be made enviable Role Models for children, both boys and girls! That would be Step # 1 in this project.....

Barbara Tomlinson (431)
Monday March 25, 2013, 3:56 pm
We live in a "RAPE CULTURE".
Please remember that expression, and use it and "popularize" it.
HUMANS made this a {worldwide} "RAPE CULTURE" - and HUMANS can MAKE IT DIFFERENT.

There may have been a time in History {almost surely}, when Women were respected as Goddesses, as the Givers of Life.
If you tried to rape a Goddess - you'd get blasted! "Voodoo Death" in extreme agony, would be the least of your worries!
There may be remnants of such ancient Matriarchy, in Goddess Earth Religions, and in the association of women with being "Witches" and "Wise Women", with special knowledge of herbs, healing herbs as well as death-giving herbs. {Useful knowledge!}
Regarding Women {- and life, and animals - }, as SACRED, would pretty much minimize the incidence of Rape, wouldn't you say?
To regard SEX itself being a form of the "Sacred", instead of the false ideal of "No Sex" except that permitted by Church and State...

Richard Anonymous (5)
Monday March 25, 2013, 4:02 pm
Kit, I agree with your point about your discomfort with what I have suggested. My mother used to advocate for the same thing when I was kid. It made me feel so sick to hear her say that, but once I became a teen and felt the hormones kick in, I realized that some pretty severe penalties were needed if a guy did not care about doing right and was fully reliant on the thought of punishment to make him control himself. Going onto the internet I heard and read so many stories of sex crime that I did some research looking for what seems to work since prison alone does not seem to work. I read how even men who commit a sex crime once and get caned for it, do not make the mistake again. Men in Singapore get a minor caning for minor sex crimes (such as unwanted sexual touching) which prevents them from escalating into more serious ones. I know that I would do virtually anything to avoid that kind of punishment so I started imagining that I lived in Singapore as thought experiment to imagine what it would be like to live there. I found that my respect for women grew over time as a result of the thought experiment because having such consequences in place plants a strong message about respecting women in one's mind. Women who have lived there tell me it is a great place to live where they feel very valued and safe.

Past Member (0)
Monday March 25, 2013, 4:44 pm
My estimate of alcohol being involved in nearly Ďallí rapes, may have been exaggerated. It appears that only 74% of the perpetrators of rape had been drinking, and possibly only 55% of the victims.

Iíll stand by the sentiment of my earlier comment.

Barbara Tomlinson (431)
Monday March 25, 2013, 4:57 pm
Richard Anonymous:
Do you suppose that it was the idea of the PUBLIC HUMILIATION, as much as, or more than, or almost as much as, the Caning? Did that factor at all into your "thought experiment"?
I am just asking.
In the AMBIGUITY of our "RAPE CULTURE", it is usual to blame the Rape Victim {even Male Victims of Rape}, and excuse or minimize the offense of the Perpetrator. You know, "Slut-shaming". "Asking for it". "Too-short skirt". "Acting Gay". The Scarlet Letter. Centuries of Patriarchal Tradition.
Very often, the Rapist is seen as "Manly". {Have you heard that nasty verse, "Seduction is for Sissies, but a He-man wants his Rape!"}
To be helpless, and to be whapped on the bare buttocks, sends a message just the OPPOSITE of the one of spurious "macho"!!

For us Non-violence advocates, would there be an Equivalent Deterrent, in an only-necessary-ONE-time Public Discomfiture, Humiliation of such a sort???
I'm just asking. Something to think about.

Kit B (276)
Monday March 25, 2013, 5:24 pm

The public humiliation could be a deterrent, not just for rape but many crimes. I think we have to look deeper into what else works in that society in Singapore and how it's core is different from our own.

We do carry the "Manly" image to an unreasonable level. Teaching boys that is okay to cry, to have hurt feelings, to understand first that words do hurt and that deeds can last a life time. Sure, it's just a beginning, we have to begin somewhere.

Past Member (0)
Monday March 25, 2013, 11:45 pm
About the alcohol vs cannabis debate, I have met many cannabis smokers who were bullying, aggressive and had a feeling of superiority because they smoked and I did not. Many of them seemed to carry around a huge amount of repressed anger about something or other so I don't buy the idea that cannabis makes you all lovey dovey.

Past Member (0)
Tuesday March 26, 2013, 12:27 am
Ask a police officer who he'd rather deal with, a cannabis user or a drunk. Ask him how many domestic violence calls he goes on that are alcohol related. Ask the same about cannabis and he'll laugh at you.

Catherine, could it be that your asshat acquaintances just happen to use cannabis, and would be jerks with or without weed? Your characterization is so far from real world experience it's laughable.

Past Member (0)
Tuesday March 26, 2013, 12:31 am
No Cathy, Ecstasy makes you lovey dovey. Weed mellows you out. Any idiot knows that. Have you been living in a cave for the last 50 years?

Past Member (0)
Tuesday March 26, 2013, 12:40 am
Catherine, I had to laugh at something on your profile. Where it asks, "What Scares Me", you answered, "Violent and abusive pornography". Might I suggest you stop watching it?

Melania P (122)
Tuesday March 26, 2013, 10:30 pm
Noted, thanks

Alison B (0)
Saturday July 6, 2013, 5:16 am
I agree that some form of public humiliation would be effective, and also send out the right message about what we think of men who treat women this way. For a non-violent option, how about something like the stocks or pillory, adapted in a modern fashion?
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