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U.S. Seemingly Unaware of Irony in Accusing Snowden of Spying~~Andy Borowitz

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, dishonesty, Humor, society )

- 1702 days ago -
The United States government charged former intelligence analyst Edward Snowden with spying on Friday, apparently unaware that in doing so it had created a situation dripping with irony. ***HUMOR***SATIRE***

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Kit B (276)
Saturday June 22, 2013, 8:45 pm
Photograph by Kin Cheung/AP.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The United States government charged former intelligence analyst Edward Snowden with spying on Friday, apparently unaware that in doing so it had created a situation dripping with irony.

At a press conference to discuss the accusations, an N.S.A. spokesman surprised observers by announcing the spying charges against Mr. Snowden with a totally straight face.

“These charges send a clear message,” the spokesman said. “In the United States, you can’t spy on people.”

Seemingly not kidding, the spokesman went on to discuss another charge against Mr. Snowden—the theft of government documents: “The American people have the right to assume that their private documents will remain private and won’t be collected by someone in the government for his own purposes.”

“Only by bringing Mr. Snowden to justice can we safeguard the most precious of American rights: privacy,” added the spokesman, apparently serious.

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |

JL A (282)
Saturday June 22, 2013, 8:56 pm
Thanks for the very welcome dose of AB Kit!

David C (29)
Saturday June 22, 2013, 10:59 pm
Thanks Kit, my one worry is that I can see a N.S.A. spokesman saying something like this with a totally straight face.

Diane K (134)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 6:28 am
Yuck, yuck! That's a laugh. Thanks Kit

Kit B (276)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 6:39 am

David they have already said this with a straight face. Mores the pity that people are not angry.

Leave it to Andy Borowitz to see the incredible irony.

Ben O (172)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 7:22 am
Humor, satire and irony; -My cup of tea! It's sad though that some people don't understand zip/nada/NOTHING of that. I have learned to never argue with some one who has no sense of humor, it's absolutely useless!
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide"
(Mahatma Gandhi)

Kit B (276)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 7:33 am

If one can not see the irony in a government statement that in the United States we respect privacy, while in the midst of the largest use of spying against US citizens, then perhaps that person could see the humor of the macabre.

Obama says we should have a national dialogue about this, indeed we should. Just don't discuss this in a letter, on the phone, with the use of social media, or on the Internet. Other wise, consider the floor open.

Nancy M (197)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 11:35 am

And why are you pointing out that this is a humor column? It seems to me that this one rings true.

Past Member (0)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 12:06 pm
As an American, I am deeply disturbed that the U.S. government is embarrassing itself in front of the rest of the world like this.

Kit B (276)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 12:15 pm

What good is satire if not to illustrate the pettiness of human malice?

Jelica R (144)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 1:04 pm
"We should discus this. Talk. We're listening." said Obama. Fair enough. May I also assume that there's no need to sign petitions and call WH switchboard any more. It is enough to merely express intention on some forum or FB wall. And some are still complaining that government does not listen to the people. At least some private contractors of NSA are listening, and reporting it up the chain. If the Obama administration is not as transparent as expected, it is by far the most observant. Kudos.

Lois Jordan (63)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 4:48 pm
Noted and point definitely taken. Thanks, Kit.

Deb E (63)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 5:13 pm
What is privacy? Privacy in the U.S.? Really?

Freya H (357)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 6:34 pm
I'd be laughing my patooty off if this wasn't so danged scary.

Kit B (276)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 6:40 pm

Ya got that right, Freya - it is scary.

John C (75)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 6:55 pm
The ancient Greeks taught many a moral lesson with irony. There is more than enough to go around.

It is Interesting that wikileaks is supporting his movements.

While Assange is hold up in the Ecuadoran consulate in the UK, Snowdon is evidently attempting to make his way to Ecuador.

Ecuador has recently clamped down on the news media there making it illegal to criticize the government. The only news outlet is owned by the government.

What irony that the people that say they believe in transparency, and the free flow of information should seek safety within countries that suppress these ideals.

Kit B (276)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 6:58 pm

The irony is quite literally, palpable.

Hartson Doak (39)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 8:32 pm
Double speak, double standards. double injustice

John C (75)
Sunday June 23, 2013, 9:30 pm
Double threat, and not from where one would expect.

Sherri G (128)
Monday June 24, 2013, 1:00 am
Got a good laugh from this. The most Snowden is guilty of is being a whistleblower which should always be protected and rewarded. Instead those whose whistle have been blown want to punish whistleblowers instead of fixing whatever condition that is being exposed. God forbid anyone accepts accountability for anything and how could taxpayers ever expect the government, manufacturers, corporations, etc. to correct whatever they are guilty of. How crazy of an idea is that? Thanks Kit Noted.

lee e (114)
Monday June 24, 2013, 4:30 am
What a brilliant discussion by AB - spot on - I'm basking in the irony (sadly)!

Birgit W (160)
Monday June 24, 2013, 1:08 pm
Each country is spying on the other one. This is the irony of it.

Katie K (70)
Monday June 24, 2013, 1:10 pm
This is way messed up. I remember as a child my parents instilling in me the courage to not sit on the side lines and watch others harm or do bad deeds and be afraid to say something. My Mom always said, "the cowards are the ones who watch and say nothing". Nazi Germany come to mind. Our government is talking out both sides of its mouth and the hypocrisy would be laughable if not detrimental to our very way of life. It's like being caught with your hand in the cookie jar and feign indifference while swallowing the cookie you pinched earlier.

Lona G (84)
Monday June 24, 2013, 1:11 pm
I'm not sure whether my tears are from laughter or from sadness. Probably both.

Deborah W (6)
Monday June 24, 2013, 1:27 pm
Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. -- George Orwell

Time has come and gone for excellent, well-scripted and practiced rhetoric. Sh-- or get off the pot. Weak-kneeded puppeteering by others will destroy the legacy he so dreamily began before age 30.

Bryna Pizzo (139)
Monday June 24, 2013, 3:36 pm
Thanks, Kit, for the daily AB! I laughed; then I felt like crying. Thanks to everyone else for the astute comments and quotes!

Rose Becke (141)
Monday June 24, 2013, 4:08 pm
This is powerful

Mary Donnelly (47)
Monday June 24, 2013, 4:23 pm
Thanks again Kit.

Debra Tate (17)
Monday June 24, 2013, 4:27 pm
Noted. We should use their own words on them!! Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!!

Tom Edgar (56)
Monday June 24, 2013, 4:59 pm
It is quite simple really ... It is required by law that you must report any illegal activities of which you have knowledge, unless of course it is illegal activities by U S Government agencies, then you are required to keep your mouth shut.

Inge B (201)
Tuesday June 25, 2013, 1:22 am
Well done Snowden we're on your side.
Love, Peace and Understanding

. (0)
Tuesday June 25, 2013, 7:46 am
Great article. Thanks for sharing.

Suzanne B (246)
Tuesday June 25, 2013, 8:41 am
thanks for sharing this!

Scott haakon (4)
Tuesday June 25, 2013, 9:34 am
as more information comes out it is becoming clear that he had another agenda. He is no hero but a criminal who is using the public's ignorance for his own use. n many people knew about these things for decades. just look at your phone bill showing the numbers you called and the duration of the call If yu so desire. These records are kept by communication companies. Nothing new. Since the NSA does not have law enforcement inside the US with the exception of national Security they are not a threat to the public.

Jamie Clemons (282)
Tuesday June 25, 2013, 10:13 am
Right to privacy. Check that one off the list. Whats next on the list?

Scott Johnson (0)
Tuesday June 25, 2013, 12:30 pm
This is no laughing matter. Our Constitutional Rights are almost null and void. This Presidnet seems to be making matters worse instead of better like he promised. We are subjected to illegal seaches and seizures every time you want to fly in this country by TSA. NSA monitors Internet activity and records cell phone calls which violates rights to privacy. Rights to Assembly have been threaten as was shown by the Wall Street protesters. Rights to Due Process of Law can be suspended if the police agencies suspect terrorism, just look at Guantanamo Bay.

When do We The People stand up and start demanding our rights? We can start by sending a message to Congress by voting your Congressperson and Senator out of office. Let's start looking for Representatives that will actually Represent us The People.
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