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Scalia Arrested Trying to Burn Down Supreme Court ~~ Andy Borowitz (HUMOR)


Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

Kit
- 431 days ago - newyorker.com
After police nabbed Justice Scalia and placed him in handcuffs, the Juror appeared "at peace and resigned to his fate," a police spokesman said. ***HUMOR*** DOMA was just too much, for Scalia.



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Kit B. (276)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 11:50 am
Photograph by Charles Rex Arbogast/AP


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a shocking end to an illustrious legal career, police arrested Justice Antonin Scalia today as he attempted to set the Supreme Court building ablaze.

Justice Scalia, who had seemed calm and composed during the announcement of two major rulings this morning, was spotted by police minutes later outside the building, carrying a book of matches and a gallon of kerosene.

After police nabbed Justice Scalia and placed him in handcuffs, the Juror appeared “at peace and resigned to his fate,” a police spokesman said.


“He went quietly,” the spokesman said. “He just muttered something like, ‘I don’t want to live in a world like this.’ ”

Back at the Supreme Court, Justice Scalia’s colleagues said they hoped he would get the help he needed, except for Justice Clarence Thomas, who said nothing.
****HUMOR **** SATIRE***

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |
 

Jason R. (60)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 11:50 am
Could fascism be any more evident?
 

Allan Yorkowitz (453)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 11:58 am
As he didn't kill anyone, Anthony will take his sentence like a man.
 

Pat B. (354)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 12:06 pm
Thanks, Kit for my dose of Andy. ;-)
 

Angelika R. (146)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 12:19 pm
Thx Kit, ..and off he went..
 

JL A. (275)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 1:03 pm
Thanks for my dose of AB Kit!
 

Bryna Pizzo (139)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 1:32 pm
Te he he he! :) Thank you for the wicked giggles. ;)
 

Joanne Dixon (38)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 3:15 pm
Hey, it's OK, the world doesn't like him being in it any more than he does.
 

pam w. (191)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 3:18 pm
He and his rants about ''sodomy'' should just go AWAY. This man CLEARLY has no sense of justice, equality and civil rights for everyone.
 

Brad Miller (120)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 3:45 pm
I did laugh out loud. Oh, how I wish this was true. What a fuggin' misanthrope. Can't call him a Neanderthal, that would be an insult to our ancestral cousins.
 

Gene Jacobson (251)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 4:20 pm
“He just muttered something like, ‘I don’t want to live in a world like this.’ ”

Funny. I don't either.
 

Gloria picchetti (287)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 5:26 am
Tee hee!
 

Judy C. (106)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 6:04 am
Thanks for the laugh, Kit!
 

Arielle S. (317)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 6:37 am
Oh, if only this were true...
 

Esther Z. (101)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 8:13 am
Lol.....I knew he was hiding some pyromaniac tendencies! Oh, Scalia is probably pissed since, in his dissent, he pretty much gave every social activist the roadmap on how to get every state to pass gay marriage. There's nothing worse than giving the people you hate a helping hand to destroy everything you hold sacred, like inequality and discrimination.
 

marie Taylor clarke (166)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 4:14 pm
Thanks Kit
 

. (0)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 5:30 pm
Wow, that's crazy. He must have been really disturbed to do that.
 

Winn Adams (191)
Friday June 28, 2013, 6:45 am
:-) Thanks
 

Lois Jordan (55)
Friday June 28, 2013, 6:46 pm
Noted. Thanks, Kit. As my kids would say, "If..Only!"
 

Natasha Salgado (519)
Saturday June 29, 2013, 10:42 pm
Damn and i was hoping it was true! Thanks Kit
 
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