Start A Petition

Rick Perry: "Time to Pass Mantle to New Generation of Boneheads" ~~ Andy Borowitz

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

- 1776 days ago -
"I've had a good run," he said. "But after twelve years, someone else who isn't playing with a full deck should take a turn at the wheel." ***HUMOR***

Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.


Kit B (276)
Tuesday July 9, 2013, 9:04 pm
Photo Credit: The New Yorker Magazine

SAN ANTONIO (The Borowitz Report)—Texas Gov. Rick Perry announced yesterday that he would not seek reëlection, telling supporters, “The time has come to pass the mantle of leadership to a new generation of boneheads.”

“I’ve had a good run,” he said. “But after twelve years, someone else who isn’t playing with a full deck should take a turn at the wheel.”

Reflecting on his twelve years as governor, Mr. Perry said that he had “no regrets” except for being incoherent the entire time.

Before leaving office, Gov. Perry said that he would propose three signature bills “just to let future Texans know how Rick Perry marked his territory.”

The first bill would require all voters in the state to have an I.D. with a photo of a white person; the second would force anyone filibustering an anti-abortion bill to ride a mechanical bull; and the third he could not remember.

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |


JL A (281)
Tuesday July 9, 2013, 9:46 pm
Thanks for my dose of AB Kit--I celebrated his announced 'retirement' yesterday with some Texas-style chili!

Carrie B (306)
Tuesday July 9, 2013, 10:04 pm
Thanks Kit. I love it!

Kit B (276)
Wednesday July 10, 2013, 9:25 am

Did you hear that huge SIGH in cyber space?

Terrie Williams (798)
Wednesday July 10, 2013, 10:02 am
ROFLMFAO.....AAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Why....yes....I AM laughing hysterically. It's that or cry or amp up. I choose to laugh. Andy's satire hits the truth on the head ... with a sledgehammer.

Yeah, I heard that sigh, Kit....did you hear that rebel yell from way down here? That wuzz moi. :)

I loathe his existence....he's right up there with Dumba$$ Dubya in my loathing department. But then....he followed that dweeb right into the same office......wonder if it's the's the dweebs.

Joanne D (38)
Wednesday July 10, 2013, 10:07 am
I sure hope the GOP put up another candidate who is equally obviously not playing with a full deck so that Wendy Davis will have a shot at winning.

Angelika R (143)
Wednesday July 10, 2013, 2:30 pm
Andy better not put ideas in his head... thx Kit

Pat B (356)
Wednesday July 10, 2013, 4:46 pm
Woops and Cheers for the good news.!!! Sixth Street in Austin celebrated with his news of leaving. Thank God. Andy B., is so funny, I loved his last true w/RPerry's mentality...Thanks, Kit for my dose of Andy today.!! ;-)

Kit B (276)
Wednesday July 10, 2013, 4:48 pm

Isn't it lovely?

Sherri G (128)
Thursday July 11, 2013, 1:40 am
Yes, Kit it is lovely. Don't know if you have seen HBO's Gasland II documentary. This fracking mess is totally fracked up. Both Democrats and Republicans have sold out. The poor people including a multi millionaire have had their water wells poised with Methane, Benzene and more. They are having to walk away from their homes. Couldn't sell it if they want to. We activist need to scream louder. These wells are everywhere across this country. We are all at risk. I will see if their is a youtube link and post if there is but the documentary is 2hours long with no dead space. Get Out Perry you have overstayed your Welcome. Noted Thanks Kit.

Arielle S (313)
Thursday July 11, 2013, 7:50 am
Laughing at Andy - sobering at Sherri's note - Gasland II is a huge wake up call. We are becoming one big gas field, full of poison and dead things.
I do hope Wendy Davis wins the governorship and undoes Perry's idiocy.

Terrie Williams (798)
Thursday July 11, 2013, 9:36 am
Saw GLII this morning on HBO, they no longer listen to us, they listen solely to the Fascist Corporate Body who see only money from poisoning every living thing in this country and to hell with the people. The real hell of it is, we will not see one thin dime from that venture, only the CEO's and SHAREHOLDERS will....we won;t even get the gas, that's being sold to ASIA.....NOT THE USA. Same idea they have for the shale ol from Canada...that is going overseas too. So much for lowering our costs, so much for Americans. I hope they choke on it all.

Kit B (276)
Thursday July 11, 2013, 10:37 am

Oh yeah, I have seen GASLAND I and II and I don't see any sunny skies or sweeping improvements coming from any leader no matter what party. Yes, Sherri and Arielle we are being used, lied to and worse, slowly killed by toxins. But, there is huge profits in those well heads, and we can be replaced by other people. In 30 to 50 years when the gas is all used, there will not be much left. A waste land of toxins, we will fight over clean water, water filter systems will be sold at premium prices. The masters in DC have again pulled the wool over the eyes of the public and I think it just might be too late for any changes.

Kit B (276)
Thursday July 11, 2013, 10:39 am

Ah, Terrie. You live on the Barnette Shale don't you? We already have small earth quakes here, children have a sharp rise in asthma, and no one cares.

Lynn Squance (235)
Thursday July 11, 2013, 9:01 pm
Terrie, I heard your rebel yell from way up here north of the 49th!!! Settle down girl or your BP will go off like rockets on the 4th of July! There is still finding a decent human being to be governor, rather than the dweebs before real action starts and celebration is in order.

Like JL, I just love a dose of AB! I wish he would do a Canadian commentary as well.

Constance F (418)
Saturday July 13, 2013, 11:17 pm
Funny ! Congratulations Texas. god, I hate that f%$er Perry ~ my greatest sympathies you had to put up with him.

Lois Jordan (63)
Sunday July 14, 2013, 6:59 pm
Thanks, Kit. My laughs were a bit small today because I was gritting my teeth.
Or, log in with your
Facebook account:
Please add your comment: (plain text only please. Allowable HTML: <a>)

Track Comments: Notify me with a personal message when other people comment on this story

Loading Noted By...Please Wait


butterfly credits on the news network

  • credits for vetting a newly submitted story
  • credits for vetting any other story
  • credits for leaving a comment
learn more

Most Active Today in Society & Culture

Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of or its affiliates.

New to Care2? Start Here.