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Limbaugh: Freeloading Kids Asking for Handouts on Mall Christmas Trees

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, children, culture, dishonesty, family, freedoms, humor, satire )

- 1619 days ago -
On his last radio show yesterday, Rush Limbaugh went on a lengthy rant about a horrifying new practice that his production team has discovered is sweeping the country.

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Kit B (276)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 9:13 am

On his last radio show yesterday, Rush Limbaugh went on a lengthy rant about a horrifying new practice that his production team has discovered is sweeping the country.

“This is disgusting. This is way worse than ‘the knockout game.’ You’re not going to believe this, but there are children, all across this great country of America, who have systematically infiltrated shopping malls…and I know you probably don’t know this…but this is why we do the show…they’ve systematically infiltrated shopping malls across America and hijacked decorative Christmas trees inside these malls, which are attempting to pay homage to the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior as well they should…and what they are doing…they are attaching notes to the trees, asking for Christmas gifts…literally begging for handouts for Christmas right inside the mall…where there are plenty of places to buy all kinds of things… instead of going out and working for their gifts like honest Americans. These kids, and their liberal parents have probably put them up to this…this is what you get in Obama’s socialist America…they are asking for specific gifts, to be paid for by honest shoppers.

The gall of this kind of panhandling, to ask specifically for a gift. We, here at the show, obtained some of these notes left by these shiftless kids. Here’s one – ‘I want some bread so that my mom can eat since she always gives me her share.’ Another one… ‘I’d like my sister to have a doll because she’s never had one.’ Begging for a family member who’s too lazy to even beg for herself! And this one… ‘I don’t have anything, but that’s OK, I just want peace on earth.’ Well, you’ll get nothing and like it, Tiny Tim. Remember Tiny Tim, the little whiny kid from one of those whiny liberal movies? Whatever, it’s not important. What is important is that these kids…they’re basically terrorizing the malls…and make no mistake… This IS terrorism because malls are the symbol of America and capitalism and everything that liberals like these are out to disrupt.

So I’m not going to stand by and let these kids literally destroy the fabric of America and what makes Christmas so special. I’m doing what I can…informing the public…to go out to these malls and do whatever it takes to get rid of all of those tags!”

Limbaugh has not received a Christmas present in 13 years.
****Satire disclaimer****

*****Free Wood Post is a news and political satire web publication, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All news articles contained within are fiction, and presumably fake news.*****

Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction. is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience.

Ben O (171)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 9:19 am
Rush Limbaugh has just joined the Green revolution and started his own recycling company. It’s called Rushit…. He’s recycling bullshit!

Jason R (67)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 9:34 am
OMG! He is such a vile CONservative!!! The worst of the worse.

Solitary Eagle (324)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 9:51 am
Flush Rush!

Kit B (276)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 10:19 am

Did you read the disclaimer? This is satire.

Debbie G (306)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 10:22 am
Ridiculous. It's most likely a charity tree. Rush is an Idiot.

Laura H (964)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 10:31 am
Yes, this article is satire BUT the sad thing is Limbaugh COULD HAVE said these horrible things!
He IS an @$$hole. (IMO)

Roseann d (178)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 10:59 am
"So I’m not going to stand by and let these kids literally destroy the fabric of America and what makes Christmas so special."

Shopping makes X-mas special???? What???

Roseann d (178)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 11:01 am
Satire but I wouldn't be surprised if he actually said that.

Gary L (138)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 1:01 pm
rush limplog who probably say something like it except he's to busy finding a new supply of Viagra LOL

Barbara K (60)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 1:03 pm
This may be satire, but this thug is capable and has said things like this and mouthfuls of other BS. I hope I never have to hear about this idiot any more. Thanks, Kit, good thing you mentioned the satire. lol

Sheila D (194)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 1:08 pm
Nothing surprises me when coming from Rush's big mouth...The not so funny part here is that most of us can picture him spouting these very words.

Janis K (126)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 1:25 pm
I only hope we can all witness his fall when the "Karma Police" visit him in retribution!
I believe he will get his.

Lois Jordan (63)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 3:15 pm
Well, it's understandable for so many to believe this is true. Just read today that some FL politician wants kids who can't afford school lunch to earn it by sweeping floors. This is not new. There were many cruel and heartless examples like this lately....I recall GOP'ers trying to curry favor just prior to the last election. I think we should re-brand the GOP for them as "The Mean Party."

JL A (281)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 6:02 pm
more reason I'm glad he no longer airs on his former L.A. radio station with a greater geographic broadcast coverage...this epitomizes satirically how he misinforms the public

Robert B (60)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 7:31 pm
LOL! Good satire. Thanks!

Tracy G (3)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 8:19 pm
I don't expect much more from this guy. He seems to get off on being an ass.

Sheryl G (360)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 9:17 pm
Satire or not......too many have been speaking very similar. If you can't do it for yourself, children, starve. That is also inclusive of the disabled and Elders as well. We've got a bunch of Heartless people in this Country, and they will be the first to jump on this "we are a Christian Country" bandwagon at the same time.

Louise D (44)
Friday December 20, 2013, 1:02 am
Come on Limbaugh reads a Christmas Carol backwards so it has a happy ending, of course it might be that he wants to change Christmas for a more Conservative Christmas with this little song.
Behold! Behold!
Behold the might of Santa!
Beware! Beware!
Beware his jolly boots of DOOM!

Bow down! Bow down!
Before the power of Santa!
Or be crushed! Be crushed!
By his jolly boots of DOOM!

Still, it should be mentioned Rush has never had any kids, so there is at least one thing we can be thankful about.

Jaime Alves (52)
Friday December 20, 2013, 7:07 am
Noted, lol.

Past Member (0)
Friday December 20, 2013, 7:37 pm
Thanks for attaching the disclaimer Kit ~ I was about ready to write a letter!

Syd H (48)
Saturday December 21, 2013, 11:17 am

Until the letters started getting read, I too thought it was real. That's the sad part about making fun of Rush. Little seems too outrageous when it comes to him, or Oh'Really(?)...

On the other hand, HAPPY SOLSTICE! The days start getting longer now which is enough to lighten my mood considerably. :) :)

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