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Hubble Telescope Sends Back Annoying Stream of Selfies -- Andy Borowitz

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, HUMOR, satire )

- 711 days ago -
"The Hubble might think it looks good in these pictures, but they're of no interest to anyone but the Hubble itself," he said. ** HUMOR***

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Kit B. (276)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 10:13 am
Photo Credit: NASA

HOUSTON (The Borowitz Report)—NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope, whose mission is to capture images that help scientists better understand the universe, has instead spent much of the past several weeks transmitting an annoying series of self-portraits, NASA scientists confirmed today.

NASA officials were alarmed in mid-November, when, ignoring their orders, the Hubble extended a long robotic arm in order to get a good vantage point on itself and began snapping thousands of blurry, low-resolution photos.

Despite NASA’s repeated instructions to the Hubble to look for evidence of water on distant planets, the telescope continued to produce more and more self-portraits, posting them to its Instagram and Twitter accounts along with the hashtag #pimpin.

Harland Dorrinson, operations manager at the Johnson Space Center, said that NASA had monitored the images sent back by the Hubble since 1990, but that if it persists in sending back nothing but self-portraits, NASA would “probably stop following it.”

“The Hubble might think it looks good in these pictures, but they’re of no interest to anyone but the Hubble itself,” he said.

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |

Janis K. (129)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 1:35 pm
Cute! Thanks

Lois Jordan (61)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 3:18 pm
Nice one! All we need now is one of those "selfies" with an alien friend with it's arm around Hubble smiling and pointing.

JL A. (287)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 5:48 pm
Thanks for my dose of AB Kit--and makes me think of the Bush bathtub self portraits...

Maureen C. (4)
Thursday December 19, 2013, 11:38 pm
I do so appreciate AB's humor. Thanks, Kit.

Robert O. (12)
Friday December 20, 2013, 12:09 am
Thanks Kit.

Louise D. (39)
Friday December 20, 2013, 12:46 am
Welll, it must be lonely and you know with telescopes these days it might be wanting to hook up with a refractor for some naughty fun or maybe it wants to be a bit kinky with a radio telescope.

John Y. (90)
Friday December 20, 2013, 1:30 am
Thanks Kit

Walter F. (109)
Friday December 20, 2013, 2:18 am
Thanks Kit.Scientists will never understand the universe,Its comprehension Is beyond finite minds,Their different theories are no more than wild guesses..

Frans Badenhorst (573)
Friday December 20, 2013, 4:02 am
it would be very sad if Hubble "lost it's head" hahahahaha - no, seriously, I spend a LOT of time (and money) on the Hubble site - it is amazing what it can see - thanks for posting Kit

Roger Garin-michaud (139)
Friday December 20, 2013, 1:44 pm
noted, thanks

Angelika R. (145)
Friday December 20, 2013, 5:30 pm
lol, yeah nice one. you know I only recently learned about that "selfie" when CNN reported it made the word of the year-;) never heard before. (ok now, y'all can laugh if you want) thx Kit

Rose Becke (287)
Saturday December 21, 2013, 2:19 am
I am nearly wetting myself :) @ Kit

BMutiny TCorporationsEvil (470)
Saturday December 21, 2013, 5:44 am
Oh, cute!

Alexander H. (39)
Saturday December 21, 2013, 8:31 am
okay, thanks .. :)

John Gregoire (286)
Monday December 23, 2013, 5:48 am
The ultimate in follow the leader!
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