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Kim Jong-Un: Bieber Just a Few Arrests From Being My Friend -- Andy Borowitz


Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

Kit
- 248 days ago - newyorker.com
The mercurial Kim said that he would seek Mr. Bieber's aid in boosting North Korea's slumping pop-music industry, which has failed to generate any hits comparable to South Korea's "Gangnam Style." ***HUMOR***



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Comments

Kit B. (276)
Friday January 24, 2014, 8:22 am
Photo Credit: Miami-Dade Corrections & Rehabilitation Department



PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report) — North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un announced on state television today that he believes the pop star Justin Bieber is “just a few arrests away” from visiting North Korea as his friend.

“Justin, if you are watching right now, this is my message to you,” Kim said. “I stand ready and willing to be your B.F.F.”

The mercurial Kim said that he would seek Mr. Bieber’s aid in boosting North Korea’s slumping pop-music industry, which has failed to generate any hits comparable to South Korea’s “Gangnam Style.”

“Justin Bieber could be our Minister of Culture,” he said.

The dictator said he understood that Mr. Bieber’s fans were concerned about the direction the singer was heading of late, but he offered this reassurance: “He is heading to North Korea. It’s all good.”
****HUMOR****SATIRE****

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |
 

Arielle S. (317)
Friday January 24, 2014, 8:30 am
Well, even if it is just humor, it's the best news I've heard about Justin Bieber all week.... interesting how this young man is of such vital news importance while so much other news is not....
 

Natasha Salgado (530)
Friday January 24, 2014, 8:48 am
Please just keep this MORON in the US--we don't want him back in Canada. Such a poor example to today's youth is this buffoon.
 

JL A. (275)
Friday January 24, 2014, 11:59 am
Wow! A double dose of AB! Now I'm ready to rock and roll!
 

Pat B. (354)
Friday January 24, 2014, 1:14 pm
Sad to see him ruin his life like this, but love Andy's take on Justin B. Thanks, Kit for this.
 

Terry King (109)
Friday January 24, 2014, 2:34 pm
Hahahahaha!!!! Priceless!
 

Yvonne White (232)
Friday January 24, 2014, 3:24 pm
No, no, Kim Jong-un - you're mixing Bieber up with Miley Cyrus! Justin may drive like a wrecking ball, but he can't twerk for $hit!;)
 

Rose NoFWDSPLZ (275)
Friday January 24, 2014, 4:56 pm
Lol
 

Bryna Pizzo (139)
Friday January 24, 2014, 7:15 pm
Thanks for the Borowitz take on the Bieber boy. Borowitz is a hoot, but I am concerned for the kid because he is young and foolish. I just hope he survives himself.
 

Mary Donnelly (47)
Friday January 24, 2014, 7:58 pm
Thanks Kit.
 

Debbie S. (33)
Friday January 24, 2014, 8:19 pm
Send this spoiled brat home to Canada....he is an embarrassment we don't need.....we already have enough of those as it is. Bieber is an idiot, wish the media would just stop giving all these famous people the drama they so desperately want....how pathetic.
 

Marcia Singer (1)
Friday January 24, 2014, 9:11 pm
A teenager with pimples smiling for his mug shot. Perhaps he doesn't actually understand what 'mug shot' means. This is what happens when bratty teenagers get too much fame and too much money too soon. Borowitz has it in one.
 

Susanne R. (249)
Friday January 24, 2014, 9:28 pm
Spam flagged.

Thanks for the funny post, Kit! Justin Bieber really gets po'd and throws tantrums when he's the butt of jokes, yet he keeps doing the same stupid things that make him the butt of jokes. You get what you ask for.
 

Ros G. (91)
Friday January 24, 2014, 10:47 pm
Thanks Kit really gave me a laugh..received a funny photo re this wish I knew how to attach so I could share..
Spammer flagged.
 

Mike Pattison (6)
Friday January 24, 2014, 11:11 pm
This is priceless ; thanks !

Spam Flagged
 

Elizabeth S. (149)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 6:29 am
He used to be such a sweet kid...lived next door to him in Stratford, my daughter went to the same school (Bedford Public) we saved his hamster when it got loose and my husband helped by him with a school project. It's hard to "believe",
 

Elizabeth S. (149)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 6:33 am
Ooops...I meant my husband helped him with a school project...
 

Winn Adams (192)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 11:35 am
So sad the people surrounding him don't have his best interests at heart. They just see him as a meal ticket. I think his father is trying to be just a hanger on and has no interest in being his "parent". Very sad for Justin. I hope he can get his act together before it's too late for him.
 

Suzanne L. (155)
Sunday January 26, 2014, 3:06 pm
Both act like selfish, spoiled brats.
 
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