Start A Petition

Millionaires Unite to Defeat Minimum Wage -- Andy Borowitz

Society & Culture  (tags: americans, culture, humor, satire, society )

- 1514 days ago -
Leaving behind their mansions and yachts, the millionaires were motivated by what they saw as an existential threat to the country, Mitch McConnell, a spokesman for the millionaires, said. **Humor**Satire**

Select names from your address book   |   Help

We hate spam. We do not sell or share the email addresses you provide.


Kit B (276)
Thursday May 1, 2014, 2:42 pm
Photograph by J. Scott Applewhite/AP.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - A broad-based coalition of millionaires converged on Washington today to defeat a bill that would have increased the minimum wage for American workers to $10.10 an hour.

Leaving behind their mansions and yachts, the millionaires were motivated by what they saw as an existential threat to the country, Mitch McConnell, a spokesman for the millionaires, said.

“This was an extremely diverse coalition,” McConnell said, noting that everyone from the rich to the very rich to the super-rich united to vote down the bill.

McConnell hoped that today’s vote would burnish the millionaires’ reputation as “people who get things done.”

“Folks who have tried to pin a ‘do nothing’ label on us are dead wrong,” he said. “When it comes to stopping workers from being paid more, we spring into action.”

***HUMOR**** SATIRE***

By: Andy Borowitz | The New Yorker Magazine |

Kit B (276)
Thursday May 1, 2014, 2:44 pm

Just in time for May1. I sure would not mind seeing all these millionaires forced to live at minimum wage for a few months. Andy once again has hit the nail with the hammer.

Past Member (0)
Thursday May 1, 2014, 3:15 pm
I'd love to see them in mud huts! What do they know...

Pat B (356)
Thursday May 1, 2014, 3:20 pm
Isn't this alful?? Yes, I'd like to see the RePugs walk a mile in somebody's shoes for a month working at a low level minimum wage job. They should be ashamed of themselves, but they're not. CNN: 'The lone Republican to vote with Democrats was Sen. Bob Corker of Tennessee, who said he wants changes in the measure even though he supported bringing it up for debate.' While it's satire for Andy, it certainly has a bite to it, and hits close to home. Thanks, Kit for this.

. (0)
Thursday May 1, 2014, 3:50 pm
Did they buy their red ties together?

Freya H (357)
Thursday May 1, 2014, 4:15 pm
What slime! But they have won only a battle - not the war. Let's hope this goads more people to get active in this campaign.

Ben O (150)
Friday May 2, 2014, 5:09 am
Right; -Millionaires, wherever you are, unite to defeat minimum wage! (attention! sarcasm!)
BTW; $10,10 an hour is a bloody joke! Anything less than $15 an hour is...

Arielle S (313)
Friday May 2, 2014, 11:21 am
We can only hope against hope that this will help defeat these banana brains in the next election. Anybody who votes for a single one deserves to be poor - and they will be if these yahoos keep screwing up the country.

Angelika R (143)
Friday May 2, 2014, 11:59 am
Yeah, the damn truth again from Andy. Didn't Obama sign an executive order to get that raise for the federal workers? What a damn shame that the Senate blocked the bill,what does that tell you about the dems !?

Janis K (126)
Friday May 2, 2014, 12:44 pm
Thanks for sharing. :)

Rosa Caldwell (384)
Friday May 2, 2014, 1:11 pm
Mitch McConell has his own problems in Kentucky to take care of. He does not need to go into someone elses backyard. We are trying desperately to get him out.

Joanne Dixon (38)
Friday May 2, 2014, 4:57 pm
It tells me there are not enough Dems in the Senate. A simple majority, 54, voted to bring the bill to the floor. But they needed 60 votes to bring it to the floor. So, we need more Dems.

Past Member (0)
Friday May 2, 2014, 5:00 pm
Capitalist Party A or Capitalist Party B, both are beholden to the same corporate masters...there are too many billionaires living on this planet and far too many millionaires in our gov't. We should apply forfeiture and demand a radical decrease in wealth inequality.

Athena F (131)
Friday May 2, 2014, 5:25 pm
Eat the rich!

Rose Becke (141)
Friday May 2, 2014, 5:35 pm
Andy is great

Kathleen R (138)
Friday May 2, 2014, 6:13 pm
noted & read

Debra G (0)
Friday May 2, 2014, 6:19 pm
Pretty soon, we can be paid with breadcrumbs and the kind protection of our feudal lords.

Mitchell D (87)
Friday May 2, 2014, 6:38 pm
You go, Rosa, and A.F.!!!
Ben is on point. $15.00 is the minimum in Australia, i believe, and they weathered the last economic storm fairly well, I also believe.

Fiona Ogilvie (565)
Friday May 2, 2014, 8:15 pm
Thanks, Miss Kitty. My humor fix.

Laurie H (817)
Friday May 2, 2014, 9:52 pm
LOVE THIS KIT!!!!~ Thank you for the smiles----Andy keeps swinging that hammer with a perfect aim!!!!~~

Nancy M (169)
Saturday May 3, 2014, 2:37 pm
But it's true.

Gene Jacobson (290)
Sunday May 4, 2014, 9:31 am
This would be a lot funnier, if it weren't also true.
Or, log in with your
Facebook account:
Please add your comment: (plain text only please. Allowable HTML: <a>)

Track Comments: Notify me with a personal message when other people comment on this story

Loading Noted By...Please Wait


butterfly credits on the news network

  • credits for vetting a newly submitted story
  • credits for vetting any other story
  • credits for leaving a comment
learn more

Most Active Today in Society & Culture

Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of or its affiliates.

New to Care2? Start Here.