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Like a Rock


Society & Culture  (tags: families, engagements, marriage, jewelry, diamonds, uncertainty, greed )

RC
- 2245 days ago - nytimes.com
A man who isn't sure he wants to propose and a family's tussle over an heirloom diamond ring he wants to give as the engagement ring if he does. Am I the only one who is creeped out by everyone in this tale?



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Comments

RC deWinter (418)
Monday October 27, 2008, 4:24 am
Maybe I just got up on the wrong side of the bed, but after reading this little slice of life I sat here thinking "UGH!" The guy's a nebbish, his parents are greedy, his maybe-fiancee reveals her gimme mentality, and I just don't get it. Am I out of step, or is the time out of joint?

The ring in the picture, by the way, is a 2.5 carat antique diamond, valued at nearly $17,000.
 

Joycey B. (750)
Monday October 27, 2008, 4:44 am
Sounds like a three ring circus to me. Thanks Ombretta.
 

Blacktiger P. (247)
Monday October 27, 2008, 5:05 am
I think I know which brain he was thinking with!!! Definately not using his grey matter! Thanks Cate for the giggle. If this is the start of another day, I think I should be off to my silk pillow for a nap, maybe things will get better. Stock markets are downer than ever. Dow -170 $2.53 per gal gas in Washington, and falling.
 

. (0)
Monday October 27, 2008, 5:57 am
Thank You 'Little Shadow' & Noted!

Signature:
http://tinyurl.com/3fs5m8
 

David Gould (155)
Monday October 27, 2008, 6:09 am
If you take a grain of sand and magnify it up using a jewellers glass you will behold the greatest jewell you have ever seen...

I have been studying rocks all my life and have never seen a 'cut' stone to approach those that anyone can find out in nature...in an ordinary stream or on a seashore or beside a trackway.

These big 'so called' expensive rocks...you can keep them they are totally meaningless...I'd rather have a pebble fashioned by the Divine One any day...

I have crawled through caves of rock crystal that would make your eyes pop out your head...I have observed the smallest grain of sand minutely...nature is by far the better jeweller....

as to this sad story of greed...I think I will stay with nature just the now thank you.

 

Lynnzie S. (40)
Monday October 27, 2008, 6:14 am
I think the writer gave us a big clue when he wrote "I eventually wanted to quit my job as a lawyer and write fiction full time". This is a work of fiction and if it isn't he and she and his parents all deserve each other.
 

Lynn Christy (128)
Monday October 27, 2008, 6:19 am
i was laughing the whole way through the story... it was ridiculous... to begin with my mother would never have let go of the ring... she is so greedy... when my grandmother was on her death bed she could hardly wait for her to die so she could get the ring off her finger, it was disgusting...but, gram bless her heart, wouldn't let go of the ring until she had breathed her last... go gram...:)
 

Past Member (0)
Monday October 27, 2008, 6:32 am
When I got married, my husband and I had no money and had to pay for our entire wedding our selves. We ended up with a great deal on 2 diamond rings a matching set. Then I learned the truth of where diamonds come from and how many HUMAN LIVES are taken for one small piece of diamond. I never wore the diamond again and demanded my husband take them back and trade them in for simple, much more like us, gold bands.

I am now very animate to my kids on diamonds and other precious gem stones, so this whole story made me sad to think about how frivolous marriage has become, the ring now is more of a status symbol then a symbol of commitment.

Sad, so very sad to think these people do not see their greed and excess use of Mother Earth for their own selfish needs for glamor.
 

Carol W. (119)
Monday October 27, 2008, 6:51 am
I think Lynzie nailed this story.
 

Past Member (0)
Monday October 27, 2008, 7:00 am
What a shallow, neurotic mama's boy....
 

Denice G. (45)
Monday October 27, 2008, 7:08 am
Well, it was a good read and quite funny. I think it is what the ring stands for, not the ring or the size of the stone.
 

Deborah Hooper (59)
Monday October 27, 2008, 7:33 am
Family, gotta love 'em!
 

Judith Jaehn (199)
Monday October 27, 2008, 7:34 am
I loved reading this! What a wacky group!!! But you got love em!!!
Great story!!! By the way, I have never taken off my mothers first wedding band that my father gave her! You can barely see it, so tiny but good lord, with so much meaning!
Enjoyably noted!!!
 

Sara Stevens (65)
Monday October 27, 2008, 8:53 am
Totally wacked out story. Thanks for sharing.
Although diamonds are beautiful, and I love my wedding set, I totally feel the same way as David. I am always picking up rocks and stones and find how beautiful they are in their natural form.
 

Susan L. (118)
Monday October 27, 2008, 9:12 am
Thanks for sharing. I would have loved to design my own engagement ring. With so many marriages lasting only a few years, he's taking quite a chance with the "family jewel". How's he going to top that down the road? I've never heard of "giving an ultimatum" to the one you love or setting a deadline for a poposal. Is this new? Am I just out of touch?
 

Terrie Williams (773)
Monday October 27, 2008, 9:32 am
Lynnzie nailed it! Dave did too.

I prefer that in nature which is unusual and imperfect--black diamonds, black pearls and amber.

When my husband and I got married, we exchanged simple white gold bands. We still wear the same simple white gold bands. The worth is not in riches and the measure is not in carats. The value is in the MAN and in the LOVE we have for oneanother. That, is priceless and can never be bought or sold.
 

ROBIN M. (312)
Monday October 27, 2008, 10:15 am
HIS PARENTS SOUNDS LIKE MY FAMILY ALL THEY THINK ABOUT IS THEMSELVES HOW DISCUSTING. A RING IS A SYMBOL, LOVE COMES FROM THE HEART.
 

Yvette Bonanno (56)
Monday October 27, 2008, 10:31 am
True love is worth more than any diamond or any gold! Finding your true mate is the jewel!
 

Stephen Hannon (203)
Monday October 27, 2008, 10:32 am
Men have two heads that we think with. Those of us who think as normal man uses the one attached to his shoulders, all the others think with the one between, well, you know where. I can't say it here for fear of being suspended again. I was suspended for quoting a vidoeo where the F-word was used, and I should have known better, but I repeated the word several times, and I believe I was not the only one who was suspended either.

Then I got a lecture from a Care2 staff member who didn't understand what freedom of speech means. But he certainly knew what censorhip meant. And they will continue to censor the language we use in the groups and other message boards as well. It is mentioned in the COC that vulgar language will not be tolerated. So they were within their right to suspend me. But since I have done so much for Care3 I should have been let off with a warning.

I could not visit the site to read the article about the ring. I am not a registered usser.
 

Pastor Tim Redfern (581)
Monday October 27, 2008, 11:04 am
Lynnzie and Dave definitely nailed it!
Cate, if you got up on the wrong side of
the bed, then so did I.
What a bunch of maroons we have here,
as Bugs Bunny would say;
The fiancee who sets an ultimatum,
the mother who doesn't want to give up
the ring that was promised to Michael,
and just the total fol-de-rol of the
whole story. Oh my God, am I glad I'm
single!
By the way, is that three tennis balls
in your pocket or are you just glad to
see me?
Thanks, Cate!
noted.
 

. (0)
Monday October 27, 2008, 11:51 am
a ring without love is useless
 

Past Member (0)
Monday October 27, 2008, 12:22 pm
Ah, jeeez.... Does anyone remember the original meaning of an engagement ring? Wasn't it something like hanging a sign around the woman's neck that said "taken"? Implying also that the price of the ring was the price of the bride? (Maybe the sign should've read "sold"....) It all relates back to dowries, bride-prices----the idea that a woman is property.

(This antique feminist just had to sound off on this one.)
 

Rashima G. (0)
Monday October 27, 2008, 1:20 pm
oink
 

Dolores H. (2)
Monday October 27, 2008, 3:37 pm
Just shaking my head.
 

Christine A. (57)
Monday October 27, 2008, 4:03 pm
Thanks for this story, Cate.

Personally, I don't even like diamonds! Such small minds to concern themselves with a piece of rock!
 

Kathy W. (299)
Monday October 27, 2008, 6:11 pm
Lucky is the one who married me. I never wanted an engagement ring. Am happy with my little gold band.:) Thanks Cate for the story.
 

Past Member (0)
Monday October 27, 2008, 10:37 pm
Someone is a little spoiled I'd say. I don't have a diamond or anything because we could not afford one and I don't need one, I know I am married. But, someday maybe a gold band would be ok. Like Kathy. I will be happy even if I don't end up with one.
 

Yvonne White (233)
Monday October 27, 2008, 10:55 pm
I've been married 34 years & still wear my $75 engagement ring & the wedding band. My husband wanted to get me an expensive set once he got a Union job, but that wouldn't have been the same to me. I don't like wasteful spending.
I think those idiots deserve each other.
I wish Everyone had the opportunity to do something as risky as get married!;)
 

Mary Neal (187)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 2:48 am
Even though this groom is indecisive, I think he'll make his bride a fine husband. He came from generations of unbroken marriages and probably has much respect for the words "matrimony" and "commitment." Because he takes this step so seriously, he hesitates to take the final step. Understandable. If I were the bride-to-be, I would want the big rock, too. I would not like the idea that another ring was being held in reserve, as though it were backup in case our marriage failed.

Thanks, Cate!

Mary

 

JOYCE ROOKER (13)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 7:15 am
Yep Lynnzie, I think it's fiction also. I hate diamonds. They are so cold. Not a jewerly person at all. As far as proposing is concerned. If she was willing to leave if he didn't propose by a certain date then she didn't love him enough to wait. I would have let her go. It sounded like all she wanted was the ring and was tired of waiting for it. The only one that had any sense was daddy. Sounded like he knew her kind and was afraid she would get the ring and skip. He should have listened to daddy and given the big ring to her for the tenth anniversary.
 

Tsandi Crew (95)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 8:13 am
I give this guy credit for knowing what he wanted and sticking with it. It's romantic, sort of...the quest for the ring. . . .
 

Estella Ameigh (22)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 11:28 am
Sure hope that was just creative writing because that family sounds messed up. Who would feel safe walking down the street with a rock that size anyway? I would probably sell the thing and donate the funds to a food pantry. At least that would buy a lot of soup for the hungry. Find your right soul mate and you don't need to drag rocks around with you. Happy reading.
 

Merry L. (74)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 1:05 pm
Great comments all! It should be fiction, if it's not! I am disgusted by "blood diamonds"! (a good movie too).
 

Locan Sleeping-Squirrel (209)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 2:13 pm
Sounds like my famn damily.
 

Bob F. (10)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 7:43 pm
Funny, sad, and stupid. The only person who really cared about that ring is dead. It has no meaning to any of them.
 

. (0)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 7:53 pm
My preciousssss...
They sound like unlikeable people. I found affordable sterling rings on ebay with wolves inlayed in turquoise and coral-my husband and I love them. It's the heart bond that matters.
As for the story-where'd I put that Pepto? Blech!
 

Lyn Z. (290)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 8:31 pm
Day of all days for me to read this:
My Sig. Other said it was time we go look for our rings today, I told him of a sale (very tiny diamond, matching wedding bands).
We talked somemore during course of day & agreed to simple gold bands with our names engraved together inside!!
P.S. When my parents passed away, I inherited my Mom's diamonds, which stay locked away & will be passed on to my children & grandchildren = part of the family memories.

Thanks Cate
 

Past Member (0)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 9:41 pm
Nice stuff.
 

Jillyanne Michelle Cape (718)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 9:49 pm
Got rocks for brains....pretty lame!!!
 

Past Member (0)
Tuesday October 28, 2008, 10:52 pm
Stephen...no worries...I've been thinkin' and sayin' the same thing for YEARS. ::::laughs::::
 

Blue Bunting (855)
Friday October 31, 2008, 5:51 pm
I have my great grandmothers' ring, my grandmothers' ring, my mothers' ring and my ring ... all passed on to my daughter ...and her daughter and her daughter and her daughter ...
 
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