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My Abortion, at 23 Weeks


US Politics & Gov't  (tags: government, Abortion, women, rights, children, health )

Dee
- 481 days ago - nytimes.com
I BELIEVE that parenthood starts before conception, at the moment you decide you want a child, and are ready and able to create a safe and loving home for her or him. I support abortion rights, but I reject the false distinction between the terms



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Comments

Dee C. (209)
Tuesday June 25, 2013, 9:00 am
A lawyer by training, I was 38 when I completed a term on the Seattle City Council. Two years later, I married my husband, who is five years younger. We wanted children, and started trying right away, but had trouble conceiving.

Using in vitro fertilization, we had our son, Matthew, now 4. When he was 2, after another round of I.V.F., we conceived again. I was six weeks pregnant when I learned I was carrying twins, a boy and a girl. We were elated.

But in my 20th week, during an ultrasound, the technician looked concerned, and we got the first hint that something might be wrong. The next day, a Friday, my obstetrician called to say that the technician had had a hard time seeing the heart of the male fetus. “It is probably just the position,” she reassured me. I wasn’t reassured.

Please go to site to continue reading this article..

 

Jamie Clemons (282)
Tuesday June 25, 2013, 9:55 am
Sad story.
 

Nancy M. (201)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 9:39 am
WOW. Very deep and personal story. Context is amazing. I am someone who does believe in those "fetal viability" rules and that 24 week deadline, but.....

Hmmm, may need to rethink.
 

Jim Phillips (3209)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 9:57 am
Thank you for sharing your heart felt story...

Hugzzz...

Ty, Dee.
.
 

Julie E. (362)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 11:07 am
In this case I believe that an abortion was necessary. It should be a women's choice. One reason for an abortion would be conceiving from rape. On the other hand, how many weeks pregnant is to late to have an abortion? I will always remember back in the 70's my best friends sister had an abortion. (I don't remember how many weeks) She saw that the baby was a boy and saw his fingers. An impression embedded in her mind forever, and something I will not forget her talking about.
 

Mary G. (46)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 11:16 am
I am grateful I never had to make that choice.
 

Kit B. (276)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 2:28 pm

I do not mix my emotions and personal live with my political feelings or attitudes. Abortion debates feed from highly charge emotion, in the final analysis those who create the conflict and make the decisions have nothing in the "game".

Every woman who has ever had a child knows the fear of this mother. I wouldn't wish this painful decision on any one, but she did have the ability to make a decision
.
 

Dee C. (209)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 2:39 pm
I so agree Kit..
 

Judy C. (108)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 5:00 pm
I don' think anyone should be able to make this decision for any woman. It's between her and her doctor and her deity, if she believes in one. Thanks for the article, Dee. There's always much more to the situation than outsiders might know.
 

Dee C. (209)
Wednesday June 26, 2013, 7:52 pm
You cannot currently send a star to Judy because you have done so within the last day
 

Kerstin Strobl (355)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 6:30 am
So sad
 

Gloria picchetti (296)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 7:00 am
I wouldn't wait 20 to abort but I never thought about a condition such as this. I never supported the twenty week law anyway.
 

Jennifer C. (172)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 7:02 am
Sadly noted.
 

Walker E. (31)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 7:18 am
Noted and shared!
 

Thomas P. (468)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 10:24 am
Thanks Dee. This is absolutely a woman's decision, period. She should have all information available to her, and NOBODY, man or woman, should take away what is her right to make that decision at any stage. This article also illustrates why drawing artificial timetables like 20 or 22 weeks is almost never a good thing, as every situation is different (mainly because we as people are all different). If anyone has ever known a woman who has had an abortion, I think you would find that she did not enter into that decision lightly and without considerable thought.
 

Allan Yorkowita (445)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 10:45 am
Yes, every case is different, and I wish the federal govt. would incluse this , and not make such a blanketed decision. Personally, a fetus with a heartbeat is a problem for me. The mother had weeks to decided to abort or not- the horrible days of Clinton's "delayed contraception" still disgusts me.
 

Dee C. (209)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 12:07 pm
Allan if you read the story..the parents were still waiting in the 23rd week on all details/tests before deciding..So no they did not have "weeks"

And even if she/they had weeks to decide..Unless you have been in that mother & father's shoes..you really have no right to judge them..

Personally..I have not ever had an abortion..but I can truly only imagine the anguish a woman feels to have/or want to come to that decision..I do know a few who have..Each one was an individual situation..and not one of them came to their decisions overnight or easy..
 

Dee C. (209)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 12:08 pm
"After 10 more days of tests and meetings, we were in the 23rd week and had to make a decision.

Once we had all the data, we met with a nurse, a surgeon and a pediatrician at the hospital.

The next day, at a clinic near my home, I felt my son’s budding life end as a doctor inserted a needle through my belly into his tiny heart. She had trouble finding it because of its abnormal position. As horrible as that moment was — it will live with me forever — I am grateful. We made sure our son was not born only to suffer. He died in a warm and loving place, inside me."

 

Phyllis P. (406)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 1:13 pm
Unfortunately, this was necessary. But to use abortion arbitrarily as a means of birth control, is wrong. I pray this family will heal, and find comfort.
 

Dee C. (209)
Thursday June 27, 2013, 6:38 pm
http://www.prochoice.org/about_abortion/facts/women_who.html

MYTH: Women are using abortion as a method of birth control.

In fact, half of all women getting abortions report that contraception was used during the month they became pregnant.1 Some of these couples had used the method improperly; some had forgotten or neglected to use it on the particular occasion they conceived; and some had used a contraceptive that failed. No contraceptive method prevents pregnancy 100% of the time.

If abortion were used as a primary method of birth control, a typical woman would have at least two or three pregnancies per year - 30 or more during her lifetime. In fact, most women who have abortions have had no previous abortions (52%) or only one previous abortion (26%).5 Considering that most women are fertile for over 30 years, and that birth control is not perfect, the likelihood of having one or two unintended pregnancies is very high.
 

John B. (175)
Friday June 28, 2013, 4:43 am
Thanks Dee for posting the link to the very informative and heart felt article by Judy Nicastro. My admiration goes out to this couple for making the right, but difficult decision. Read and noted.
 

Dee C. (209)
Friday June 28, 2013, 6:45 am
Thanks John..
 

Penny C. (79)
Wednesday July 3, 2013, 2:35 pm
Sad.Thanks Dee.
 
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