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- 3771 days ago -
Emotional Blackmailers: Threaten to make things difficult if you don't do what they want. Constantly threaten to end the relationship if you don't give in. Regularly ignore or discount your feelings and wants.

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Pamela Salomon (255)
Monday November 19, 2007, 5:07 pm
Very good points are made in the article. Thanks for sharing it. Noted!

Lana W (373)
Monday November 19, 2007, 5:15 pm
Noted Thanks

Mary Norris (107)
Monday November 19, 2007, 5:20 pm
hello everyone
I know that there are emotional blackmailers and thats wrong and those are the people that should be baned from the sites and groups on care2care

Rage S (201)
Monday November 19, 2007, 5:34 pm
I don't think it's just a Care2 thing. It happens in every day life. You have to be strong and not let these folks give you a guilt trip. I know, easier said than done, but try hard and keep yourself NUMERO UNO! Rage

Ali H (286)
Monday November 19, 2007, 5:39 pm
Yes some really good points there Tere...especially for those in relationships or family situations where they use blackmail to get what they want...good answers to their threats on that site.

Past Member (0)
Monday November 19, 2007, 5:54 pm
This is a SHOCKING Disease of society !!

Monica B (157)
Monday November 19, 2007, 6:36 pm
True,very good points,Thanks Tere,Divine diva,for thinking about sharing this! Just unique! I've gone through "some of that"....Thanks God I am a survivour! Thanks againmTere,coz you never know how many eyes you can get to open thanks to this article!!

Teresa del Castillo (1519)
Monday November 19, 2007, 6:44 pm
Yesterday I met this woman in a friendīs house, named Elizabeth, that was abused by her husband for 24 years. Until one day, that man pushed her down the stairs and she was 2 YEARS in a wheelchair. I made this note to honor her and all the women that are in silence and suffering from verbal abuse and physical abuse also. Some cases have solution in my point of view, when is only verbal abuse, I hope that with this article I can help at least one woman in this situation and I also hope I can touch the heart of some men.

Hope never dies.

Thanks my friends for taking the time to read this and meditate about it.


Jaclin S (230)
Monday November 19, 2007, 6:47 pm
Thanx Tere Dear One - very good points.

Past Member (0)
Monday November 19, 2007, 6:50 pm
Thanks Tere,

This is good information and I'm sure that Elizabeth would be honoured!

Warren Motter (1055)
Monday November 19, 2007, 7:24 pm
We all need to be aware of the users of the world. So, instead, let's all be Helpers. Love Is All, warren

Past Member (0)
Monday November 19, 2007, 7:46 pm
Thanks Tere...good points in the granddaughter is getting out of such a relationship least we are trying to help her get out of it if that is what she wants...noted

Mara G (411)
Monday November 19, 2007, 8:04 pm
This has been going on sense the cave man/woman and both genders are guilty of it. Its the learning stages of nearly every relationship and finding the lines and tools, not that I support it....just the fact. Unless its become abusive, outside influences usually make it worse, especially if its mom or dad or family. It usually goes away as a relationship grows. If it doesn't, then you have a problem. Abuse should never tolerated under any circumstances.

Katherine S (162)
Monday November 19, 2007, 8:17 pm
Sounds like my mother and my ex.

Vanessa Farmer (0)
Monday November 19, 2007, 9:23 pm
Excellent article. It was timed so well too, I have been looking for something like this to help a neighbour get through a rough patch with a friend(?) of theirs.

Cameron Farmer (61)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 12:28 am
Even I was at the end of some emotional blackmail myself... and you know what? Some of the answers provided in this article I've used and have seen some I didn't know about! It's not just men and women who do this - children can pick it up, too. Growing up in grade school I've seen it done to great effect that I've consciously made a decision NOT to act that way. Ever.

Past Member (0)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 4:06 am
Very, Very Good Points Here ..... I've Been Down That Road.. Never Again... Thanks Alot Teresa

Stephanie Bradley (223)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 6:39 am
Great article Tere, I have also been there too and now try to help others in violent relationships, the words on this site will help very much....Thankyou

Love and Hugs

Judy Money (42)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 7:02 am
I am finding that when a 'friend' threatens to break of the friendship because I won't do what they want I seem to loose a ton of weight. I don't know why but I tend to attract idiots like you have described but am learning that standing my ground and not giving in means that I can do things the way I see as right and not necessarily their way

Joycey B (750)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 11:15 am
Very informative. Noted. Thanks Tere.

Past Member (0)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 12:14 pm
Interesting article. There are many women that suffer every day from verbal and physical abuse, but unluckily some of them die, at least in Spain. I hope one day it will end.
Hope and much love

Past Member (0)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 6:36 pm
Thanks for sharing, noted.

Wolfweeps Pommawolf (251)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 10:30 pm
Thank you Tere,

We recently celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary, and although we are still relatively still young, we have lost many friends over the years whose elationships came down to power struggles and abuse. Through the years my other half and I have become best friends, and soulmates.....and believe me it wasn't easy......we are both stubborn old goats......he wolf......*S*
We both get so hurt and disapponted to see so much be destroyed over the years in other friends relationships break with one becoming an emotional wreck as an end result, and see the power struggles between once upon marriages. People need to work at relationships, and not to treat each other as desposable objects that can be replaced.
WE need to treat each other better, and realize that we all are human beings....we deserve respect and to treat each other with kindness and love. Not domination and cruelity.
To give what you wish to receive back in kind.

Past Member (0)
Tuesday November 20, 2007, 11:42 pm
Sounds like Cps! Thank you! Noted!

nurith k (93)
Wednesday November 21, 2007, 5:30 am
not just in spain, everywhere, mercedes, everywhere. i lived in a marriage like this, for a long time, much too long, now i am divorced for some years and i learned to be happy with me, love myself again, trust myself, all the things that are so easily lost in a relationship with a energy vampire and emotional blackmailer.

Andrea Carter (57)
Wednesday November 21, 2007, 5:49 am
Thanks for this,story, I think I would not want anything to do with a person who used emotional blackmail on me. Ditch them.

Wolfweeps Pommawolf (251)
Wednesday November 21, 2007, 6:25 pm

Ali H (286)
Thursday November 22, 2007, 2:57 am
Say WHAT!!!!! Pomma you are spamming

Stephanie Bradley (223)
Thursday November 22, 2007, 3:05 am
Hi Pomma
I will never beleive that wolves attacked a human for no reason, anyone that has studied them knows they don't attack unless they are under threat, and when they attack for food, they only take an animal that is weak or old, but when you think of how much of their land is being taken away from them and so their food source is gone too, I wouldn't blame them, wouldn't we do the same to feed our children?
To me this is just more scaremongering as another excuse for hunting wolves.

Love and Hugs
Steph a Big wolf lover

Wolfweeps Pommawolf (251)
Thursday November 22, 2007, 9:55 pm
Sorry folks, but the "Pomma Truth", is a troll. They are a one or both of a troll team that come to Care 2, and numerous websites to post issues that they know nothing about, and have never stepped into nature a day in their lives. Both are city people that have done nothing to assist in the willing, friendly discussion on any issue. But rather stir conflict and cause trouble wherever they go online. Do not respond to them in any form or fashion, but please report them, and flag them so Care 2 can deal with the trolls in a legal manner.
This "Pomma Truth is using a portion of my other personal handle that I have used for over 10 years.
This is how they operate. If your start arguing with them you become a target, and they will do everything they can to destroy what you value the most online and offline. Do not disclose any personal info, nor engage in posting to them. You will not get anywhere but give them what they want the most. Acknowledging their ability to aggravate you to no end, and turn your friends against here on Care 2.
They just searh now for my post on Care 2 and other websites when I use "Wolfweep's", and they start their games again. I know how they operate.
This time they "Pomma Truth", the poser team went and screwed up and posted their drivil on the wrong article here on Care 2.

Wolf Experts Disagree with Inquest, Blame Bear for Mauling

68 Wolf Experts Disagree With Inquest, Blame Bear for Mauling visit site
Animals (tags: animals, Inquest, wolves, bears, death, humans, wildlife, wildanimals )

- 15 days ago -

On Nov. 8, 2005, Kenton Carnegie became the first human in recorded history to be killed by wild wolves in North America, according to a coroner's inquest that wrapped up last week. Or was he? crucial evidence indicates that it was a black bear not wolves

Gail Costic (152) Monday November 5, 2007, 10:09 am
Once again wolves take the heat. No hiker should go into the woods alone and especially during specific times of the year when an attack may be more prevalent. With no real proof, the wolf should not be victimized. Why is this inapropriate?

Mike Mlodzi (2) Monday November 5, 2007, 10:25 pm

Jane Bryant (0) Tuesday November 6, 2007, 9:08 am
There was no I repeat, NO evidence of bear anywhere near the scene. The entire Bear theory is based on one photo with melted out wolf tracks that could have resembeled bear size tracks, these tracks led to solid wolf tracks.
The forensic evidence says wolf pack, the tracks say wolf pack, the photo's of wolves threatening humans 4 days earlier say wolf pack. The wolves at the scene eating the young man say wolf pack. There were no tracks showing wolves fussing with a bear over a kill. There was strong signs that wolves, not a bear rolled this young man twice while he attempted escape. There is a spot where he stood and bled while wolves jumped at him. A bear would have had him down at once and he would never have gotten up again. There was human tissue in the wolves stomaches and wolf bites on the victims shins with bruising that accompanied them indicating he was alive when the bites took place.
What part of this can't you people understand. The Bear is a red hearing there is NO evidence of bear attack NONE, ZERO, ZILCH, NADA. Saying the wolves were innocent is like saying OJ Simpson is innocent. Why is this inapropriate?

Wolfweeps J. (59) Wednesday November 7, 2007, 6:13 pm
Jane Bryant Cuchillo, NM, USA
Joined Nov. 6, 2007

That you even made a comparison of the beautiful creature of the wolves to OJ Simpson, you should know what your talking about. Because I can bet you dollars to donuts that you haven't been close to a wolf in your life. OJ Simpson is a human creature, which leads to a whole list of human crimes....but a wolf has survived on this planet without human interference for millions of years.

I have a very good friend that lives in New Mexico, and she is the biggest supporter and part of the Mexican Wolf Program. As you should know living in New Mexico, the Mexican Wolf has been harried, slaughtered and misaligned like the Grey Wolves in the Northwest United States. Much of the material you qoutes above is just that. Material. Any wolf will feed upon a carcass....human or not. Being a dead already, and wolves stumbling unto the carcass, they too will feed for SURVIVAL. Just because human tissue is found in a wolfs belly DOES NOT MEAN THE WOLVES KILLED THE MAN. I JUST MEANS THAT THEY WERE A PART OF NATURE...FEEDING ON A CARCASS. BECAUSE IT WAS HUMAN MAKES IT DIFFERENT? NOT.
Before qouting material, learn about the creature your accusing. Black bears, any bear is far more likely to KILL and DEVOUR human flesh than a wolf will. WHY?
WOLVES sense of smell is far beyond most species. A wolf can smell disease in the animals it hunts. Yet it does not hunt humans. Why? Because we stink of humankind. Pollution, chemicals...human life...frankly..we stink.
Wolves smells cancer. Did you know that is the reason why they hunt the sick and the weak and aged? Did you know that dogs have evolved to this day to still smell cancer? Did you know that they are doing research into how to detect cancer earlier because of this?
Before you try to stand in line with those that continue to destroy a living species survival, you should not always believe everything you've been led to believe by old tales of hatred, ignorance dnd outright stupity.

People that are dead set against wolves, and are ready to jump to accuse this much misaligned creature are ill informed and uneducated about their species.
Wolves are not the predators that hunt humans. They are not the creature that kills for thrills.
And anyone that knows wildlife, knows that black bears are a creature of unpredictability.
Black bears are quick to cross into human territory especially when the stupid human creatures dump their garbage in every conceivable piece of land they can.
The jury in this case was ill informed, and again led by a human hand to the quick attack upon a wild wolf.
Black bear is predictable because it is unpredictable. It will kill you quiker than you can say OJ SIMPSON. WHY? BECAUSE BLACK BEARS ARE AGGRESSIVE! ANYTIME!

Debra belanger (127)
Friday November 30, 2007, 5:07 pm
sis this is a very important problem that so many people face, I used to with my ex husband. people in these relationships need to get out of them (if they are kids or parents then distance themselves from them) this is a very important topic, no matter whos being emotionally blackmailed (which is a form of abuse in my opinion) the person doing it needs counceling! hugs dear friend, love you

Ivy S (2169)
Saturday December 1, 2007, 2:13 am
Beautiful article Teresa. Thanks for sharing it with us. I know it must be really difficult when we are confronted with this type of situation. All of us must have experienced it one way or another. However, I whole heartedly agree that it will be good if we can talk things over in a more meaningful way. We just have to keep our cool I guess - what do you say?

Debra belanger (127)
Saturday December 1, 2007, 7:58 am
I agree ivy, if you can sit down and talk and do it without threats, or blackmail , if not try counseling, but must find a very good councilor, to whom both parties feel they can open up to. sometimes the relationship, whether with a child, spouse, or parent, just needs some help, and some times that works, and sometimes it is best to get out (with my ex we went to counseling, sadly it didnt stop his cheating, telling me he`d kill himself if I ever left, threatening to take my son and id never see him again, and finally I said enough was enough and ya know he never did any of those things, just got remaried and did the same thing to his new wife and child, they are now divorcing :( feel bad for the children most)

Ivy S (2169)
Sunday December 2, 2007, 1:51 am
Oh Debbie I'm really sorry to hear about this. I guess men who are without conscience just want things done their way without any concern for the other person's feelings or well being. Yes Debbie you are correct that we do need good counselors when we are confronted with this type of a situation. But even counselors cannot help when it comes to a person who is selfish and wants everything done according to his whims and fancy. These selfish people will just not accept any other way but theirs and they are very selfish for they think only of themselves and not of others. They also act like spoil brats and play a dirty game of trying to win by walloping in self pity. Oh boy what a man! Your ex must have tried all the tricks so as to get your attention and so threatened to kill himself. My my what a drama he must have played with your psyche thinking that you will toe his line of thought while he could cheat and do what he liked behind your back. Any way it was good that you felt enough was enough otherwise who knows you might still be rotting in hell. But it is sad for the other lady as well who was trapped in the same way as you did. Well yes Debbie, it must be really hard on the innocent souls particularly the young kids. It is really very very sad indeed!

Debra belanger (127)
Monday December 3, 2007, 10:29 am
oh im fine, weve been divorced for years and by the time I finally said I couldnt take it any more I was done, the hurt, the falling for the tears, the threats, no longer worked, I went and filed for custody and divorce on my own , did all the paper work for the custody myself, no lawyer because I didnt have the money for that and figured out after I did that that he had nothing to scare me with, he was all talk, then all tears, but sadly he was not all love. But many people can be helped by sitting down and talking out their problems and maybe seeking counselling, sometimes they truely love each other but maybe one was brought up around this kind of emotional abuse and thats all they know, and they can change what they are doing with some help, not all people who do certain things are bad people, just need to learn how to talk the right way, how to be 1/2 of a whole and work together to be the whole in harmony :) having a long term relationship/marriage or even a child and parent bond is not always easy, takes a lot of work (with kids I think the hardest part for me was the teen years with my girls, my sons 15 and still not a problem but who knows lol) but with love and talking things can work out if you both truely love each other :)
any way dont feel bad for me, I have a wonderful son from my ex, and all the ex put me thru I would do it all again just to have my son :) hugs to all

Ivy S (2169)
Tuesday December 4, 2007, 2:19 am
Wow Debbie!! I'm so glad that you are such a strong and capable person yourself. Hats off to you my dear. Imagine filing the custody and a divorce without any outside help - meaning that of a lawyer of course - is highly commendable on your part. Debbie you have made womanhood really proud of you!

But again as you rightly pointed out, I guess talking things out in a most meaningful way will help solve many untold problems among the party concerned. Well I guess people have different characters and hence some may act in a particular manner while others may behave differently. It's just a natural process I guess. Hence, as we are not alike in our behavior or our feelings, it is only natural that people will also react differently if they are in the same circumstances.

Well I am so happy that you are really proud of your children especially your son, for it is always these loving souls that gives the healing touch to people who are not so fortunate in their relationships. May God bless you abundantly my dear and may you find love, joy, peace, happiness and good health in the course of your life here on planet earth. I am so happy that you have such a positive outlook in life and it will certainly encourage most people who fall in the same category. Thanks for being such an inspiration to all of us.

Take care, and a big hug from all of us.

Debra belanger (127)
Tuesday December 4, 2007, 9:32 am
hugs Ivy never been called a inspiration before :) oh and I had to pay for a lawyer for the divorce, 500.00 because I did all the papper work lol but the custody I did it all myself, they wouldnt let me do the divorce myself tho, dunno why. then when i got the lawyer for the divorce he wanted to change the custody, but I told him no I did it and I cant afford more (he would have charged thousands then)
any way thnaks for the compliment, made my day, hugs to you

Marla Kellman (52)
Friday October 3, 2008, 6:53 am
Thanks fr sharing, Tere. I've had a relationship with a man like that before and he still tries to pull his little strings from time to time. Even now that I'm married (not to him. gladly!). He just cannot accept it. But one can only take so much and when it comes down to saying that is enough then, enough is enough.
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