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Bill Clinton: 'Screw It, I'M Running For President'


Offbeat  (tags: candidates, clinton, government, elections, off-beat, funny )

Michael
- 2508 days ago - theonion.com
My fellow Americans, I am sick and tired of not being president," said Clinton, introducing his wife at a "Hillary '08" rally. "For seven agonizing years, Damn, this feels good," Clinton told supporters as he shook hands in Charleston Monday



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Comments

Blue Bunting (855)
Tuesday February 12, 2008, 5:31 pm
Selling Out

Jane:


I have to say that what constantly amazes me is just how damn little it costs corporate America to buy our elected officials. Pennies on the dollar, really, for what they get.

While one can't discount legalized bribery campaign dollars entirely, I do think too often we assume they're the reason lawmakers do the "wrong thing" when the simpler explanation that they believe the wrong thing is in fact the right thing is the answer.

Too many Democrats simply don't have the values we imagine they do, and it lets them off the hook too much to assume they're simply craven people who need to get re-elected instead of bad people who don't share our values.
 

Michael W. (72)
Tuesday February 12, 2008, 11:03 pm
No longer will I have to endure watching candidates like Hillary Clinton engaging in single-pump handshakes with voters, as I use every last ounce of restraint not to shout out, 'No! Warm double-clasp! Warm double-clasp!'" Clinton said. "America deserves someone who can do it right
 

Kathy Chadwell (365)
Wednesday February 13, 2008, 3:23 am
I'd vote for him. But he can't do that.
(laughing) thinking about it, hell, he's probably already dead, Hillary probably killed him:)
 

Past Member (0)
Wednesday February 13, 2008, 5:37 am
Uh...no way the goober pea....Noted....Big Gorilly Hugs...
 

Tia P. (7)
Wednesday February 13, 2008, 3:37 pm
OMG!! Is this true?!? It reads like a "news" item on Saturday Night Live!
Bill certainly wasn't on the ballot when I voted last Tuesday.... for Hillary....
I'd be happy with either one, really, but how could he ever make up the votes he'd need this late with so many primaries already voted?
This CAN'T be real....
 

O O O. (139)
Wednesday February 13, 2008, 5:34 pm
It is not,he can not. She should not. They both are. They both will. Perhaps,if,when it happens,someone then assainates one or both. This is getting to be a Wild Ride,in a Wilder World
 

Blue Bunting (855)
Thursday February 14, 2008, 10:54 pm
Clinton inevitability: The insurgency is in its last throes

Just as a quick hit, I’ve noticed a number of interesting pieces floating about the blogosphere that delve into the hidden dynamics and power struggles of the Clinton campaign and why it, originally as inevitable as the sunrise and paying taxes, is now foundering so badly.

The inestimable Pam Spaulding has a roundup of Michele Cottle (from The New Republican) and Josh Greene (from The Atlantic) looking into the resignation of Patti Solis Doyle, the role she played as power broker and manager, and how Clinton, like Bush, seems to prize loyalty and discipline over competence and effectiveness.

Last week, Obsidian Wings’ Hilzoy looked at coverage of the campaign and Clinton’s failures (including the Doyle resignation), and asked why the heck could Clinton have not foreseen this.

Finally, Matthew Yglesias looks at the Clinton campaign continuing to employ the utterly odious Mark Penn (who spent the night of Clinton’s sound defeat on Tuesday in the Potomac Primaries at a signing for his book in New York), and concludes that Hillary may really just like his work, for which he’s been paid over $5 million so far.

So, let’s see…Loyalty over competence. An inability to foresee changes in plans and an even greater inability to adapt to changing circumstances. Most of all, the inability to recognize that the people you hire may not be up to the job, and may, in fact, be doing more harm to you than good.

Remind you of anyone?

Anyway, quoth my friend Mike (a huge Obama supporter), “Meanwhile, Hillary has let her husband make classic blunders, and she’s made poor decisions about her staff that she’s trying to correct now, at the eleventh hour. Don’t you want a President who’s going to be ready on Day 1, instead of one who will make novice mistakes while she “learns on the job”?

Indeed we do.

 

O O O. (139)
Friday February 15, 2008, 12:18 pm
Blue,i agree w/you:Except they DO KNOW but #1 Is ? proof the are bought,this system? is rigged as to who wins& HOW they do. #2 It is their own personal Values Sytem over what "should be done"regardless.
Hilbilry is another Bush anyway,from bad to worse& for another 8yr.'s. Especialy for her:she is no novice,regardless of so called 1st time in office-it is NOT-She admitted her Felony in her haveing been the prez unstead of Billy-makes her a possable 4 time prez=illegal. Non voted 2 time pirz=illegal. Not,thus,elgeble to run now on both counts=illegal. All Felonies,regardless if one thinks they want someone-one should not be able to do or have this this way.
Women as U.S. Prez-perhaps,but not her,& not this way.
 

Sandra M Z. (114)
Saturday February 16, 2008, 12:21 am
After Bush's last stolen election, The Onion's Headline was, "Nation's Poor win Election for Nation's Rich"!. Noted, thanks Michael.
 
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