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Deborah N.

"To Help All the Critters of Every Kind.."

Meadville, PA, USA
married, 2 children
Speaks: English only
Joined Feb 8, 2008

" How Could You"
You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask, "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said, "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. T hey understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar, as he screamed, "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured, "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said, "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her.

It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author:

If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as You read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters.

Personal Professional Contact Singles
Joined Feb 8, 2008 Activist Aspirations Rabid 
Here for Meeting Friends, Support a Cause 
Group Host of none yet
Groups "SAVE OUR WILD MUSTANGS & OUR HERITAGE & STOP SLAUGHTER", Canine Concerns: Stop Puppy Mills / Dog Chaining & Fighting, Defenders of Wildlife, Elephant Lovers, Ending Animal Cruelty....A balanced approach, Help the Honey Bees!, Native American Church Of The Ghostdancers, PETA - People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PRRA - People for the Rights and Respect of Animals, SEA SHEPHERD CONSERVATION SOCIETY - Outreach on Care2, SHARING AND CARING, Spay and Neuter Feral Cats, Stop Shark Finning!, Tranquil_Thoughts more »
Hometown Meadville, Pa 
Birthday March 08  
About Me I like to do things the hard way never the easy way.. it means more that way.. & work is never work but fun..
  Introduce yourself to Deborah
Activist Aspirations Rabid
Political Leaning Depends
Wild Fact About Me I don't take betrayal in freindship kindly...I am hard to befriend most times..
My Philosophy The Worlds Headed for the End
What Gives Me Hope My husband & my pets & nature
If I were Mayor, I'd make the world a better place by Don't think I would want this job.. tooo much stress...& the world is going beyond getting better,,
What/who changed my life and why Losing Everything that mattered to i live life as if its my last day with everything that matters most to me...
Quotation Your dammed if you do & your dammed if you don't
  Introduce yourself to Deborah
My Thank You Notes
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    Mar 8, 2016 8:07 PM

    Nyack C. (0)

    Mar 8, 2013 2:46 PM

    Stephen H. (633)

    Debroah, I wish for you many years of good health, happiness and Love!

    Mar 5, 2013 9:59 AM

    Stephen H. (633)

    Deborah, I wish for you many years of good health, happiness and Love!

    Mar 1, 2012 7:57 AM

    Stephen H. (633)

    Deborah, I wish for you many years of good health, full of Peace, Light and Happiness!

    Mar 1, 2011 7:13 AM

    Stephen H. (633)

    Deborah, I wish for you many years of good health, full of Peace, Light and Happiness!

    Mar 1, 2010 11:09 AM

    Stephen H. (633)

    Deborah, I wish for you many years of good health, full of love, peace and happiness!

    Feb 7, 2010 10:14 AM

    Audrey G. (85)

    Hello Beautiful,
       How are you? Good I hope! Well I hope to hear back from you that would be great  to start a convo with you. Sharing ideas and goal.

    Jul 24, 2009 4:08 PM

    Tom M. (814)

    Jun 24, 2009 9:08 AM

    Christine v. (376)

     Graphics and Layouts at
    May 28, 2009 4:17 AM

    Tom M. (814)


    Apr 6, 2009 12:41 PM

    Jillyanne M. (718)

    Mar 14, 2009 8:14 PM

    Christine v. (376)
    Mar 2, 2009 2:40 PM

    Stephen H. (633)

    Deborah, I wish for you many years of good health, full of love, peace and happiness!

    Jan 27, 2009 10:02 AM

    Christine v. (376)
    Hugs of friendship, Christine
    Jan 21, 2009 11:03 AM

    Christine v. (376)

    Dec 30, 2008 11:11 PM

    Jillyanne M. (718)

    Nov 27, 2008 4:57 PM

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    Nov 10, 2008 9:49 AM

    Christine v. (376)

    Nov 4, 2008 6:34 AM

    Christine v. (376)

    Nov 1, 2008 3:40 PM

    Christine v. (376)
    hugs of friendship!
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