10 Ways to Deal with Conservative Relatives During the Holidays

While Thanksgiving is a great opportunity to reconnect with your relatives, if youíre like me, a lefty, who comes from a conservative family, this reunion can also be a source of great stress. This year is no exception; just weeks after a Presidential election, the likelihood of a political conversation is greater than ever. Here are 10 ways to deal with your conservative relatives during the holidays:

1.†Remember That Your Side Won

While this doesnít mean you should gloat, let the fact that the majority of the country elected a Democratic President give you the peace of mind to get through the meal. At the end of the day, wouldnít you rather endure your drunk cousin saying homophobic things for an hour than having to hear that come from your Commander in Chief? If your relatives are busy filling up on sour grapes, that just means more cranberry sauce for you.

2.†Focus on the Food

You canít get into a heated discussion when your mouth is full of yams. When the discussion turns political, stuff your mouth, or perhaps interrupt to loudly compliment your auntís green beans. If the conversation persists, a simple plea of ďAre we here to argue or are we here to eat?Ē is sure to win over both the moderates and gluttons at the table.

3. Offer to Do the Dishes

No one likes cleaning up after such a big feast, so no matter how much ire youíve received based on your leftist views, youíre sure to win back brownie points by taking on the dishwashing. Plus, itís a good way to excuse yourself from the conversation. If youíre particularly livid at this point in the night, you could also just pull a Paul Ryan and pose for a photo while pretending to wash a dish before booking it altogether.

4. Find Common Ground

Left or right, surely there are some topics everyone at the table can agree on, like equal pay for women or better services for veterans. You could try to maneuver a political conversation to something less entrenched in partisanship like recent ballot measures such as the Massachusetts assisted suicide amendment or medicinal marijuana. Failing that, even people who voted for Obama must have some reservations about him. Throw out a criticism (drone warfare, super PACs, the NDAA, etc.) and see where the conversation goes. Even if your relatives still disagree with you, at least itís fun to see them having to defend an Obama stance for once.

5. Love Football

When your uncle turns the channel to Fox News, ask him to check the football scores. It doesnít matter if you havenít seen a Super Bowl in ten years, desperate times call for desperate measures, and you now have a sudden intense love for football. In case you are faking fandom, it might help to know that the games that day are Texans vs. Lions, Redskins vs. Cowboys, and Patriots vs. Jets.

6.†Brush Up on Your Facts

Odds are that this isnít your first holiday meal with your folks. By now, you already know if your dinner conversation is going to devolve into a political debate, and if it is, do your research. As awful as it feels to be attacked, youíll feel even worse if you are not prepared to adequately rebut. After eloquently stating your opinions, even if no one else at the table agrees, you can at least be pleased and confident with yourself.

7. Respect Your Elders

Sometimes itís not worth it to bicker with a senior citizen, no matter how much you disagree. Understand that someone with a lifelong party affiliation is not going to suddenly change her stripes. If youíre unable to respect Grandmaís Birther views, instead respect the human lifespan. Breathe easily in the knowledge that youíll have many more ballots to cast than Grandma and that the tides are changing in this country.

8. Volunteer at a Soup Kitchen

Why not live out your politics? If you donít believe, as your father spouts, that the less fortunate have only themselves to blame, then go help out somewhere. Not only will it help you to reaffirm your own principles, but it gives you an opportunity to get out of the house for at least part of the day.

9. Critique Subtly

With some families, youíre so outnumbered that you just canít win. In that case, push for small, silent victories. Bring an organic, vegan dish to share. Make sure to put both dark and white turkey meat on your plate to signify racial harmony. Purposefully fail to salt 47% of your mashed potatoes. Always pass the food around the table clockwise (i.e. to the left).

10. Do Not Talk about Politics

Weíre all passionate about our beliefs, but youíre not a sellout if you decide to have an argument-free Thanksgiving. As crazy as it may seem, just do not bring up politics. If someone else does, do not engage. While political discourse is extremely important, so are family bonds. Thanksgiving is about loving and sharing, not winning, so resolve to put aside your differencesÖ at least until Christmas.

Related Stories:

When Politics Come Up at Thanksgiving

“Turkey Tips” for a Smooth Thanksgiving

6 Thanksgiving Staples That Contain BPA

Photo credit: Thinkstock


Marija M
Marija M23 days ago

Interesting, tks.

Rachel D.
Rachel D4 years ago

I'd love to avoid talking politics with family members - unfortunately the conservatives in my family are all very outspoken and can't help but bring their politics into the most mundane conversations

Kathy Perez
Kathy Johnson4 years ago

trying to reason with the religious right is like trying to teach a dog to read. It won't get you anywhere, and sane people will think you have lost it. Just let holidays be about family, they can keep their uninformed opinions to themselves. No worse getting stressed over things you can't change (aka peoples minds in most cases)

Sheila A.
Sheila A5 years ago

This is great!! I love these ideas!!

Curtis S.
Curtis S5 years ago

There is no neutral ground between republicans and democrats , so the normal solutions will not work , that means one faction has to go and republicans have decided which it will be . That is why the big investments in election campaigns and lobby . Democrats are still trying to figure out what it all means and how they can sleep through the whole mess.GO FIGURE.

Curtis S.
Curtis S5 years ago

Trying to reason or compromise with a republican is like sticking your hand in a paper shredder . Very foolish thing to do. Best thing is vote against them or put them on a reservation . But what ever you do don't give them support for their regressive ideas.

Pat A.
P A5 years ago

These are wonderful - thanks!

Nils Lunde
PlsNoMessage se5 years ago


mitchell dawes
mitchell dawes5 years ago

Go Greens!

Katie K.
Katie K.5 years ago

I'm a conservative, but I also love the environment and these pressing social issues, which is why I participate in Care2. However, when I come on the site and feel attacked and offended by these outdated stereotypes of my beliefs, it makes me not want to be a member of this community anymore.
These political articles are getting out of hand. Instead of polarizing the country even more by dividing conservatives vs. liberals, how about we focus on the issues that we care about and put aside our differences. These articles seem extremely hypocritical to me