4 Reasons God Might Be Too Busy to Answer Your Prayers

If there’s one thing that’s got to put a serious damper on the fun of being the most powerful deity imaginable, it’s the fact that there are always so many people clamoring for your attention. There’s the daily intercessions, the pre-meal blessings, the childish prayers before the little ones lay themselves down to sleep. Here are four things that are taking up a lot of God’s time these days — at least, according to the utterly far right devout:

1) Spreading Ebola to the unrepentant: Yes, it’s hard to have any sort of disaster, be it natural, medical or otherwise, without someone claiming it’s God’s work and a warning to those besmirched by sin. According to Religion News, “In Liberia, more than 100 Christian leaders meeting in early August declared that God was angry and Ebola a plague. They called for prayers to seek God’s forgiveness for sins including corruption and immoral acts such as homosexuality,” reports Fredrick Nzwili. “Liberia’s Wilmot Kotati Bobbroh, head of the Living Water Pentecostal Church, later described the outbreak as a national curse brought by God to force repentance. Bobbroh said chlorine and soap were not working, but God’s mercy was saving people.”

Luckily, cooler heads are prevailing. “As a Council, we consider Ebola as a disease and not a punishment from God as some people are reportedly describing it,” responded the Christian Council of Ghana.

2) Smiting the naughty Mississippi Republicans: There’s still a great deal of bad blood (and lawsuits) surrounding the very close Mississippi GOP Senate primary, where sitting Senator Thad Cochran barely eked out a win over Tea Party nominee Chris McDaniel. McDaniel’s biggest campaign weapon, Charles Johnson, has shown he’s still a little angry about the final results, and in an opening prayer at a recent Tea Party meeting he invoked God to “be violent against“ the GOP establishment that thwarted his candidate in the primary. Despite Johnson’s pleas, no one appears to have become a target of a wrathful and vengeful deity.

3) Preparing to finally, FINALLY pass a heartbeat ban in Ohio: Poor Janet Porter has been trying to pass a ban on abortion at the point in which an embryonic heartbeat can be heard for years now. In fact, it’s been so long since she first started that I managed to write, edit, print and publish a book about it. Since her ban was first introduced many states have proposed their own bills, two states have actually passed them, and both of them (North Dakota and Arkansas) have even had them blocked, resulting in ongoing legal battles.

Yet still, Porter hasn’t been able to get her bill, which was the first of its kind, through the legislature for a full vote. Now, she’s going to see if God can help her out. “We’ve called. We’ve rallied. We’ve lobbied. On September 17th, we’re going over their heads!” Porter proclaimed in an email announcement obtained by Right Wing Watch. “Pastors from around the state will lead us as we go over the heads of the elected officials with an Appeal to Heaven!” Despite the extensive list of pastors in the state expected to be at the rally, God has yet to RSVP.

4) Just chilling, making clouds: Does the above God sound a bit more wrathful than you always imagined? Well, not everyone views their God as a thunderbolts and plagues. Some can still see deity that sits in the clouds, watching the world roll by. By which I mean literally sitting in the clouds, as this author at Huffington Post believes. “[T]his cloud was shaped in the image of the Lord,” writes author Fionna Finn regarding an ethereal photo she posted. “Also look to the far right and you’ll see another cloud that looks like an angel with a trumpet in hand. Maybe it’s the angel Gabriel blowing a trumpet blast to indicate the Lord’s return to Earth, or maybe not…” She then adds, “I for one was blown away by this photo and yes, I believe it’s a real snapshot of God in the clouds.”

When it comes to choosing between smiting and making cloud pictures, I know I prefer the God of the clouds myself.

Photo credit: Thinkstock


Nicole H
Nicole Heindryckx4 months ago

thanks for the article.

Val K.
Val K1 years ago

thanks for the article.

Jim Ven
Jim V1 years ago

thanks for the article.

Steven Gregory Davis

@Ron G...One last point I feel the need to address, is that you claim that those who don't agree with your WARPED sense of REALITY, hate you for speaking the TRUTH...nothing could be further from the truth...We don't HATE you, what we cannot tolerate, is your self-righteousness and HOLIER-than-THOU attitude, when lecturing those of us, who feel that FACTS are more relevant than BLIND FAITH!!!

Steven Gregory Davis

@Ron G. You have FINALLY said something which I can agree with..."the innocent suffer the most...But why is that Ron...If your Gaww-duh is as you claim PERFECT, then why does he ALLOW the innocent to SUFFER the MOST????...Suba, Mike, Catrin, I, and any number of others have put this question to you time and time again, but we have NEVER received an INTELLIGENT or ACCEPTABLE response!!! WHY????

Michael T.
Michael T3 years ago

@Pat sez: I'm fully capable of recognizing truth -- I simply don't recognize Ron's 'truth'. Nor do I think he has a monopoly on what is right.

Green star to you Pat. Simply and succinctly said.

He is hateful, damning, and by my way of reckoning, militantly delusional. I have never seen or heard a single loving thing in any of his diatribes when preaching or proselytizing.

Thank you again for your contribution Pat. ;-}

Pat B.
Pat B3 years ago

I'm fully capable of recognizing truth -- I simply don't recognize Ron's 'truth'. Nor do I think he has a monopoly on what is right.

Michael T.
Michael T3 years ago

Orwell is absolutely correct (w)rong,

but you,

as usual,

have it completely backwards.

If you were speaking truth I wouldn’t hate what you are saying. As I said before, in this world environment in which 4 out of 7.5 billion are blinded by the lies of the abrahammick traditions, truth is a hard thing to come by.

Faith, (which accepts BS as truth)

which attempts to deny truth,
is the first villain.

And from where I am standing, it is the believers who are the haters.

Atheists, on a list of things cristians hate the most in the world, are at the bottom, below muslims even terrorists and murderers.

Meaning they are hated even more.

And, muslims, in parts of the world, can still get away with brutally murdering them.

But in spite of this, I, and others, will continue to promote and reveal truth
while folks like you promote delusional belief,
which can hardly be considered truth in any way shape or form.

Dennis D.
Past Member 3 years ago

Michael T. I think what it took, at least for the moment, was realizing that anything that they had beieved was a point. Was in reality just not as strong or convincing as hoped or thought. From trying to convince every one that a collection of books should some how take precedence in a non believers life. Trying to sell the idea that a time that never was. Is proof that their religion should have more say in every one lives. (1950's)

Maybe those arguments worked 50 or 60 years ago.. Maybe even even 40.. Doubtful.. But then for some it might have been the big attraction.

Though continuing to paint themselves into a theological corner was at first entertaining to watch. It just got sad and pathetic after awhile. Perhaps those people did learn something. Perhaps not just going back to parrot a bunch of words, but to really understand what it is they believe.

No truer words were spoken than by Mahatma Gandhi, “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” Maybe Darryll G. and his friends will discover just why Gandhi said this. How it currently applies to themselves. Maybe.......

Michael T.
Michael T3 years ago

It would really be interesting to know what it is that finally embarrassed them into finally opting for silence on this issue, in their realizing how empty their claims are, and obnoxious their belief system is.

That way, the next time they show up promoting, preaching and proselytizing this nonsense, we could just say it right up front and get them to realize how wrong they are, how inept they are, and more importantly how inane is the BS they do promote, preach and proselytize, shut up and go away.