11 Benefits of Letting Go of Fear and Control

The key stances in letting go of control are all forms of allowing: Acceptance, tolerance, non-resistance. Needing to control life, either yours or anyone else’s, is based on spiritual desperation. Look at your interaction with your beloved and honestly confront any fear-based behavior you are exhibiting. When control is ready to loosen its grip, a definite relaxation takes place. The following changes will often be in evidence:

1. You stop measuring people by whether they live up to your expectations. You begin to resist the urge to correct their mistakes and give unwanted advice.
2. You lessen your habit of taking care of others without really caring for them.
3. You become tired of trying to keep track of every detail in your life and bored with people who have always given in to you.
4. You begin to listen to objections and disagreements instead of using them to trigger your own opinion.
5. Unexpected emotions come to the surface. This usually arouses self-criticism because you can’t control your feelings anymore as you once did. At another level, however, this eruption of emotions comes as a great relief.
6. Your impatience begins to lessen. You stop living according to the clock.
7. You take stress seriously, no longer believing that you thrive on it.
8. You begin to listen to your body, which has all along been giving you signals of tightness, fatigue, contraction, and over-stimulation.
9. Your mind gives up calculating every move in advance. Some room is made for spontaneity.
10. You stop holding grudges and remembering slights. Resentment begins to be replaced by tolerance.
11. You quit setting external goals for yourself and believing that achieving these goals faster, better and more tirelessly makes you a good person.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).


Jewels S.
Jewels S8 years ago

I really appreciate this right now. Thanks.

Ness F8 years ago

Love this article, my hubby said I should fwd it to my m.inlaw!:) Now now!!!

James R. Stewart Jr.

I don't have to live the way this society lives. I stay in the right-hand lane, at 60 mph, and give everybody as much road as they want. I am enjoying my Free Life. Happy, Calm, and Healthy.

Poonam Asthana
Poonam Asthana8 years ago

thx for sharing. happening with me.

Diedre D.
Diedre D.8 years ago

Very thought provoking indeed. Thanks Deepak

Carolyn Dakin
Carolyn Dakin8 years ago

Great article. I hope to see and feel more of these things in the future. At least with this list, you can gauge whether you are making any progress

Sean K.
Sean K8 years ago

Thanks for this one Dr. Chopra,
Guess sometimes it is just to ask ourselves what is there to really be afraid of? Funny thing is though, we are in control of how we act towards others.
Suppose we actively partake in this endeavor with our actions, maybe then we could see who we really are. Guess then we would realize that control is only neccessary when you do not.
Which shows trust in that which is in control, if you see, see?

Marilyn L.
Marilyn L8 years ago

Letting go is very freeing.

Karen B.
Past Member 8 years ago

It's very hard to just let things happen without stepping in with advice and opinions, especially when You Are Right and Know Everything LOL I'm so guilty of this, " Let Go and Let God " sounds so simple , must TRY to keep that in mind and TRY it. I believe it is the right way to live, but . . . .

Mark H.
Mark H8 years ago

Thank you for sharing this! Worth reading 3x!