15 Spontaneous Ways To Make Your Sex Life Even Better

By Dr. Susan Heitler , Meri Arnett-Kremian , Marla Martenson and Jane Garapick for YourTango.com.

You and your partner already have toe-curling, sheets-grabbing lip-biting sex nearly every day. So how can you make it even hotter? Good question. Whether you’re pretending to meet each other for the first time or you’re roleplaying as your naughtier, sexier persona, heating things up between you has never been easier. Don’t believe us? Check out these suggestions for infusing your relationship with sexy spontaneity, from four of YourTango’s top experts:

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Entice your partner with a list of your biggest turn-ons. Send your partner an email listing some of the sure-fire ways to get you in the mood … and then promise them a pay-off. (And trust us when we say, they’ll be drooling.) —Meri-Arnett Kremian

Let them chase you. Give your partner a look as if you don’t recognize each other, and introduce yourself by saying, “I don’t believe we’ve met … ” Play a little hard to get, acting like you’re not the type to fool around too quickly. Give them some hints that you find them very attractive and even though you’ve never done this before so quickly, you just can’t seem to help yourself. Once they start kissing you, tell them that you really shouldn’t, it’s getting late, you need to be getting home, you’re not that type of girl … but, of course, make it obvious from your actions that you don’t want them to stop. Keep playing this kind of push-pull game until they’re just ravenous with desire, when you finally give in because you are just too attracted to them not too. Some partners love the chase and giving them the chance to re-live the hunt will really get their testosterone flowing. —Jane Garapick

Get your sweat on. Exercise before you enter the bedroom to get that blood flow going. A hot shower (focused especially on your sexual parts) can jumpstart those juices. —Dr. Susan Heitler

Leave a sexy message on your partner’s voicemail. There is a service called Slydial that will connect you straight to someone’s voicemail without the phone ringing. Pretend to be someone else. Maybe your a seductive French maid and you can’t wait to tickle your partner with your feather duster … or maybe you’re a Russian KGB agent and need to interrogate him or her about some international matters of love. —Marla Martenson

“Dessert, anyone?” Take a photo of a can of whipped cream and send it to your partner with a teasing note that it’s a treat for later tonight. —Meri-Arnett Kremian

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Surprise him or her and do something completely out of character. If you’re usually a bit prim and proper, excuse yourself during a black tie event, head for the ladies’ room, remove your lace panties and sneakily tuck them into his jacket pocket. The intrigue along with knowing that you’re exposed — may make them decide to leave early (or book a hotel room upstairs). —Meri-Arnett Kremian

Dress in your sexiest, most sensual lingerie. The lights may be off, but what you wear (or don’t wear) still makes a difference in how sexy you feel. In other words, that granny nightgown might be better off left in your bottom drawer. —Dr. Susan Heitler

… And meet him or her in nothing but that. Greet them at the door wearing nothing but your hottest lingerie. If you’re concerned about the neighbors seeing you, wear an overcoat or bathrobe and let it drop to the floor as soon as he shuts the door. It will be a wonderful surprise for them and they won’t be able to keep his hands off you. —Jane Garapick

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Hop in the shower for some slippery fun. The rules? Wash every inch each other — skin to skin. What guy isn’t responsive to having you lovingly caress him? And what woman doesn’t love feeling partner’s hands on her body? Mix in warm water, lots of steam, lavender-scented shower gel and pumpkin-scented candles (two smells shown to increase penile blood flow) and the rest should follow naturally. —Meri-Arnett Kremian

Play some sensual music to set the mood. Don’t have any ideas? Did you know that a study by Spotify found that the number one favorite music for arousing sexual feelings was the soundtrack from Dirty Dancing? —Dr. Susan Heitler

Sound-proof your room (so you can be louder). Buy bean bags to stuff under the door, in the window and any other corners where sounds sneak through. —Dr. Susan Heitler

Give him or her a blindfolded rubdown. Blindfold your partner and subject them to 30 minutes of pure pleasure. Warm your hands with massage oil and run your fingers over his or her face, chest, and stomach until you work your way down to between their legs. Make it a game: how long can hold out before they reaches for you? Can they last the full half hour? (We doubt it.) You might also inspire your partner to be your personal masseur. Happy endings, anyone? —Meri-Arnett Kremian

Remember what turned you on about your partner in the first place. When you have a few quiet moments, take that time to remind yourself of what you found incredibly sexy about him or her early on in your relationship. Was it their walk, smile or the way they smelled? Write down 3 to 5 of them on an index card and read it to yourself every day. The next time the two of you begin to be intimate, run through these in your mind. This will bring you into the moment, they’ll notice the change in you and you’ll both feel more connected. —Jane Garapick

This article originally appeared on YourTango.com: 15 Spontaneous Ways To Make Your Sex Life Even Hotter.


Alexandra Bruno
Alexandra Bruno4 years ago


Kathy Perez
Kathy Johnson4 years ago


Edo R.
Edo R4 years ago

Thanks for sharing!

Gabriel H.
Gabriel H4 years ago

the chase IS fun, and as far as the "suprise" that would drive any guy wild.

Paula G.
Paula G4 years ago

OK but first I need a partner. No I am not asking for volunteers.

Mary T.
Mary T4 years ago

will have to try out some of the ideas :) thank you

pam w.
pam w4 years ago

Works for ME!

Nils Anders Lunde
PlsNoMessage se4 years ago


Gysele van Santen

Slydial...i might check that out.

Geoff Price
Past Member 4 years ago

What a freaky imagination