3 Ways Writing Can Help You Deal With Divorce

There is no way to sugar coat it, divorce is hard.  It’s a complex and difficult process that can be extremely emotional.  As raw as this emotion may be, more and more people are taking to blogs and social media to open up, vent, and express themselves to the world.  On the surface, this practice may seem odd, but science says otherwise.

Several studies have shown that writing about the thoughts and emotions of difficult life experiences can actually help some people cope with the stress and trauma of said events.  The process—known as expressive writing—can help in several ways.

How Expressive Writing Can Help 

First, the simple act of thinking about an experience and expressing emotion is extremely important. Writing can help people organize their thoughts and better understand what’s happened to them.

Second, the writing process can help people better regulate their emotions. Instead of repressing them only for them to come pouring out at inopportune times, writing allows people to put their emotions in context and deal with them.

Perhaps most importantly, opening up about a traumatic event makes people more likely to talk with others about that experience. This is where blogging can be a great tool. As awful as the internet can be at times, those willing to write and talk about their divorce will find that there is no shortage of people who are going through similar ordeals.

What’s more, opening up about divorce is typically easier with strangers than it is with friends and relatives. This is true for several reasons, including:

  • No hidden agenda or pressure to follow advice
  •  You don’t have to fear being judged
  • The stranger is not emotionally involved so they can give clearer feedback
  • Unbiased opinion can be helpful

So writing about your divorce may help you cope with emotion, but publishing it online might help you find perspective, get helpful advice or even help someone through their own divorce.

While the expressive writing technique can be extremely helpful, there are a few things to keep in mind when writing about or considering to write about your divorce.

*BIG Legal Caveat

If you are writing about an ongoing divorce, what you write CAN be used as an admission in court. If fact, electronic evidence in the form of text messages, emails, and social media posts are used in almost every modern divorce case—and a public blog will make finding evidence all the more easy for investigators.

You have to assume that everything you write will be printed and presented to the judge in divorce court—so refrain from spouse bashing or any other writing that may adversely impact your divorce. The same goes for active child custody or family support cases.

Timing Matters, a lot

Writing about a traumatic event immediately after it occurs may actually make people feel worse. So, use caution when you open that laptop immediately after you are served papers or your divorce is finalized. Give yourself a few weeks or months before you try expressive writing as a means to cope with your emotion.

So, if you are struggling with, moving on from, or going through a divorce, try writing about your experiences in private. If you feel comfortable—and you are not going to put your divorce case at risk—share it with the world and you might help someone else in the process.

66 comments

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Henry S
Henry Shaferabout a year ago

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Mandy T2 years ago

That's is all true. I'l like to thank the author for writing a part about connection of court and material you write. If there is a chance that it may be used against you then there is no need to make it public. My colleague from uktopwriters.com started her personal blog that helped her to deal with divorce. The main idea is to clear the head and share with someone who can listen, not get cranky from keeping feelings inside.

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