How to Deal with the Stress of Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day can be a stressful, anxiety-laden day to celebrate love–what a contradiction! Here are the possible scenarios: If you don’t have a significant other, you are in a mad rush to find one, falling in love in record time. If you can’t get one, your loneliness intensifies, focusing on what is missing while you eat your box of chocolates.

If you do have a significant other, you drop hints for a special gift and the pressure is on. On the one hand, you subtly or not so subtly demand a gift–flowers, theater tickets, lingerie or jewelry. When he gives you the gift, you know the rules; you will reciprocate with intimacy, your gift to him. If he forgets or doesn’t get you anything special, except for what he has on hand, like his office pens or a red fire extinguisher, then the deep freeze sets in. You will reason, “Obviously, he does not value me.” The message for him is to learn the rules: Tit for tat, you give, I give, then you give and I give. Is this what you really want? Payment for services rendered? Does a gift paid as a ransom demonstrate love?

Don’t get distracted by all the commercial media hype. Don’t let stress steal your heart away. Here is the solution: Valentine’s Day is not about the gifts or the romantic choreography. The holiday is really all about you! What gifts do you give yourself: Quiet time, simple pleasures, room for relaxation and creativity?

Ironically, you possess all you need to celebrate love. Use this occasion to discover your “Passion Print.” Everyone has a unique finger print; likewise your passion print is unique too–the way you move, part your lips, breathe, and lose track of time when you are happy. What activates your senses and makes you have a romance with life? Your sensuality is expressed in your passion and purpose. On Valentine’s Day empower yourself to activate your passion for your purpose. Don’t know your purpose? It’s time to find out and this journey is joyous. Take the first step.

Revive the suppressed, hidden part of you which laughs easily, loves fun and plays well with others while not giving a hoot as to what anyone else thinks. Leave the straight lines of your personality to take a few unexpected detours. Feel your body and listen to the song in your heart. Smile deeply within.

Here is how to ignite your passion and improve all your relationships:

• Passion in one arena translates to passion in another! Activate your creativity and carve out time for what you love doing.

• Embrace and respect yourself to make others feel more comfortable around you.

• Create a “safe zone” where no one has to tiptoe around you and can be open and honest without you getting upset. Above all, don’t be a “history” teacher dredging up the past in every disagreement.

• Know the difference between force and power. Trying to compel or dictate shows that you don’t yet know how to influence another person. Releasing control liberates you from being responsible for another’s happiness leaving you with extra time and space for self-discovery.

• If you are currently experiencing a relationship difficulty, use it as an opportunity for self-growth and share the enlightenment to grow together instead of apart. provides content and community for who you aspire to be–personally, socially and globally.

By Debbie Mandel,


PJ Chartrand
PJ C4 years ago

As I'm not a particular fan of holidays I find it very sad that some people get hooked into them via advertising and community expectations to the point that this causes them stress.