How to Prevent Falling in Love from Jeopardizing Friendships

You meet a significant other and suddenly withdraw from your closest friends. You forget meetings, outings and parties. You don’t reply to text messages and emails. It’s like you’re suddenly in a “love bubble,” isolating yourself from many social contacts and functions. Sound familiar?

A recent article in Psychology Today referred to this condition as Dyadic withdrawal, which essentially states that as couples become more romantically involved, friendships shrink and they become less involved with their circle of close acquaintances. Fortunately, there are ways to combat this, to keep your friends close and your new love closer.

Living Outside the Emotional Bubble

In some cases, Dyadic withdrawal can quickly short circuit friendships. As the research in Psychology Today revealed, one’s circle of friends tend to grow smaller when people start seriously dating, get married or have children. So it’s important to maintain friendships even if you enjoy your significant other and can’t seem to tear yourself away from them. Researchers note that one person simply can’t fulfill all your emotional needs. They stress the importance of maintaining a network of friendships. That’s not to say that you have to party hardy like you did when you were in college or when you were deep in the singles scene. It merely means that you keep a few close friends instead of shutting yourself off in an emotional bubble.

Friendships Add Novelty, Insights, Humor

Maintaining a network of friends when you’re head over heals in love with your significant other can keep your life energized with novelty, insights, humor, activities, fun, and a sense of connection. Outside friendships also free your monogamous relationship with “space.” As Psychologist Terri Orbuch notes in a Happiness Institute article, this space can be even more important to happiness than good sex.

Preventing Dyadic Withdrawal

If cupid’s arrow struck your heart and you find yourself growing isolated, there are a number of things you can do to prevent Dyadic withdrawal.

  • Continue to Double Date. This is a healthy option that adds variety to your life. In addition to double dating with your friends, keep an open mind and double date with your significant other’s friends as well.
  • Allocate Time for Friends. While your significant other may want to spend lots of time with you, you’ll need to carve out times in the week or weekend when you can go on dinners, trips, drinks, or sports activities with your close circle of friends. Go shopping, jogging, dancing, or do yoga with friends. Consider, too, the advantages of attending sports events (or participate in one) as often as time permits.
  • Maintain Social Media. Make sure you returncalls, texts and emails from your friends and stay connected. In this day, social media can keep you connected faster and more efficiently than ever before. Continue to share photos, videos and messages with your friends and involve them as much as you can in your life.

 

 

65 comments

Ellie M
Ellie Mabout a year ago

ty

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Rose Becke
Rose Becke3 years ago

Thanks

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Siyus Copetallus
Siyus Copetallus3 years ago

Thank you for sharing.

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Nina S.
Nina S3 years ago

tyfs

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Michele Rosenbaum
m r3 years ago

thank you for sharing

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Jim Ven
Jim Ven3 years ago

thanks for the article.

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Ba H.
Ba H3 years ago

this is a problem for women, not so much men. guys bounce back and embrace their bros even if they haven't seen them in years

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Trish K.
Trish K3 years ago

I have managed to keep more than fifty years of friends thru three marriages - some remain, the rest have left this world

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Gyan T.
Gyan T3 years ago

There is also the situation when a relationship splits up, and you find yourself without friends unless you've maintained independent friendships.

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Iskrica Knežzevic

thank you

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