Overwhelmed? Try These Seven Words

I don’t know how to do that.

I know some seriously overwhelmed women. I know more than a few who actually want to hire me as their life coach but feel too overwhelmed to “take on another thing” and that, for hopefully obvious reasons, cracks me up. Too overwhelmed to hire a life coach is really overwhelmed.

Yesterday, one of these women finally reached out. For about 30 minutes she did what she called “dumping the huge box of her life onto my lap,” and trust me, there’s a lot going on in there. She is an artist with important messages to share with the world, one of which is a film. She has quite an intense day job, both to support herself and because she deeply values the work she does with her clients. Her home is in desperate need of restoration. Both of her parents depend on her (and her siblings) for physical and emotional support. Those are a few of the biggest chunks.

She has  so much going on, or that she’s trying to get going on that she’s stuck in the middle of it all.

After I’d taken a quick survey of the contents of her box, and she finally took a breath, I jumped in to take my turn.

Are we agreed that it will take a series of miracles for all that you have coming through you to actually come through in your lifetime?

Pause… yes.

“Good,” I said, “because it will take miracles. The good news is that we live in a world where miracles happen all the time. And because you have so much on your heart/mind/whatever to do with your life, it’s safe to say that you are a miracle magnet.”

Despite having several miracle-ish experiences in the past, she was doubtful to say the least. Lately, it seemed that incredible amounts of “hard work” on her part resulted in nothing but trouble. For example, last year when she recognized that she couldn’t do a certain task alone, she recruited some help but despite paying out $1500, she ended up with nothing. Also, she’d worked her tail off applying for funding for a project and got nothing. Everything she’s tried to get these projects moving seems to result in more and more to do.

She has so much to do and try as she might, nothing is getting done.

You’ve got to stop trying to cultivate miracles alone. If the universe (God, etc.) seeks to deliver something through you, it will either be small enough to do alone or it will come with the supports to make it possible.  Every time you meet an obstacle I hear you saying to the universe, “Okay, another obstacle… now I’ve got to find my way around it.”

When it requires a skill you don’t have, you think, “I have to learn that too.”

When it requires time you don’t have, you panic, “I have to find more time.”

When it requires money you don’t have, you fear, “This project will die if I don’t find a way to make more money.”

When it requires strength, you surrender, “If only I were stronger…”

Under these conditions, it’s far too easy to believe that you’re not enough, but that is a lie. Period.

You are enough. You are enough. You are enough.

Not, if you did more, you’d be enough. Not, if you did it right, you’d be enough. Not, if you were better, you’d be enough.

You are enough.

You are enough and also, you are not alone. There is a world out here waiting to birth these dreams through you. You have to stop trying to cultivate miracles alone.

When someone says, “Oh you just need a social media strategy before you begin,” you say, “I don’t know how to do that.”

When someone says, “Well, we need someone to plan the fundraiser,” and you don’t have more time to give, you say, “I don’t know how to do that.

When someone says, “It only takes $4,000,” and you don’t have the money, you say, “I don’t know how to do that.”

“Someone” may not be the one to solve it for you but it doesn’t mean you have to take responsibility for it. When you say yes, the universe thinks you’ve got it under control and the supports don’t rush in. If you don’t have it to give, just say I don’t know how to do that, and then wait for a solution to appear before you proceed.

I don’t know how to do that.

It doesn’t mean that I suck. It doesn’t mean that I won’t or that I don’t believe that it needs to be done. It just means that I’ve checked in. I’ve inventoried my resources–time, money, energy, knowledge, passion, etc.–and I don’t have it to give, so the solution has to come in from somewhere else.

I don’t know how to do that.

And, I am willing to remain open until what is needed here does appear. And in the meantime, I will work on what I have the resources to work on. There is always plenty to be done. If we do only what we can do, when we can do it, then what gets done is what needed to get done.

This means we are living within our means. We can be in our integrity. We can admit that we are not going to say yes because “yes” would be a lie. If we are honest, it keeps everyone involved from being let down… most importantly ourselves.

I don’t know how to do that” means never again having to think that we suck.

The simple truth is that sometimes… I don’t know how to do that. And when I accept this gift, I hold a space open for the true solution to flow in.

Integrity. I don’t know how to do that. Freedom.


Natasha Lopez
Natasha L6 years ago


Shiyi C.
Sh C6 years ago


Adobe Hacienda
Adobe Hacienda6 years ago

The feedback from readers is positive, however, I think this is a bunch of baloney. Life coaches are parasites. Everybody has challenges. Know that time has stopped accelerating, personally I feel relief from that. If women and men could put aside their egos and decide not to have children, all of life would ease up in many ways. This is a solution everyone can consciously do to simplify life and the future of this Planet. And here in the USA, no more voting republibaggs. The right wing ideology Complicates EVERYTHING. I don't need a life coach.

Naomi M.
Naomi Miskimins6 years ago

Thanks, I'll certainly be trying that

Prochi T.
Prochi T6 years ago

Very good, no one was born highly educated. thank you.

Julie F.
Julie F6 years ago


Fadia C.
Fadia C6 years ago


Norma V.
Norma Villarreal6 years ago

Sometimes I feel I am doing the best I can in the moment.

Nancy Black
Nancy Black6 years ago

It is good to know yourself--that means your strengths as well as weaknesses. The one thing I try to do is the best I can. Do I succeed all the time? No, but I do know I did the best I could so I don't generally blame myself. I also am able to ask for help; if I can't do something, that doesn't mean that someone else can't. If I work with others after I have done my best, WE often meet success.