Painful Sex? These Muscles Might Be Responsible

For men and women who struggle with any pain or discomfort during sex, the idea of sexual activity can be deeply frustrating. The sad truth is that sex doesn’t always feel good for some people, and it’s a major libido crusher. But that doesn’t mean there’s no hope.

If sex is not pleasurable, it’s a red flag that something is amiss. So if that’s you, let’s be clear on something: sex should feel good. There shouldn’t be any pain or discomfort whatsoever. Are we clear? Discomfort during sex isn’t something that you are uniquely burdened to live with.

So do yourself a favor and try to get to the bottom of it. While there are myriad reasons why someone could experience pain or discomfort during sex, there is a group of muscles that could very likely be responsible. The pelvic floor.

Painful Sex and Your Pelvic Floor

Most of us underrate the importance of our pelvic floors.

The pelvic floor is essentially a hammock of muscles in the pelvis that support the bladder and sex organs. Lying at the very bottom of the torso, this muscle group mirrors the diaphragm at the top of the torso. This funnel shaped hammock is comprised of a handful of thin, delicate muscles.

These muscles have many valuable functions, including helping us go to the bathroom (and not go to the bathroom). They also call the shots on our sexual pleasure and orgasms.

the pelvic floor muscles

When we orgasm, the pelvic floor contracts and releases at regular intervals corresponding with the waves of pleasure. A healthy, toned pelvic floor is able to contract and release more deeply, which means that our orgasms are better and more powerful. But if they are too tight or weak, your orgasms (if you have them) may feel fine, but nothing near earth-shattering. So if you have any discomfort and your orgasms are nothing to write home about, definitely get your pelvic floor checked out for tightness.

Why do the pelvic floor muscles get so tight?

While these muscles may be tiny, they can house a lot of trauma. It’s very normal for our bodies to store unprocessed emotions, traumatic events and stress in the pelvic floor muscles—kind of like the way you tend to store work stress in your shoulders.

Since most of us are so far removed from these muscles, both physically and psychologically, they never really get much of a release. That’s why first bringing awareness to the area can be so important. (If you’re looking for a practice to gently release your pelvic floor, try happy baby pose or child’s pose in yoga. These are both incredibly soothing on those small muscles.)

When Kegels Do More Harm than Good

You know how you’ve been told to do your kegels? Well, if you’re having painful intercourse and your pelvic floor is unable to release, working on strengthening it is only going to worsen the situation.

Maybe consider easing off the kegels until you consult a doctor or physical therapist who can fill you in on what your muscles are feeling like down there. Remember, having an overly engaged pelvic floor is not a good thing. Tight muscles are weak muscles.

Talking about sex can feel a little awkward, but it’s worth seeking out support if you’re experiencing even a minor amount of discomfort down there. There’s no need to be a martyr. You deserve good sex and a healthy pelvic floor! Be open about the sexual support you need, and you’ll be amazed how much better you’ll feel—energetically, emotionally and yes, sexually.

Related on Care2

31 comments

Paulo Reeson
Paulo R23 days ago

ty

SEND
Leopold Marek
Leopold Marekabout a month ago

Tyfs

SEND
Leopold Marek
Leopold Marekabout a month ago

Tyfs

SEND
Mike R
Mike Rabout a month ago

Thanks

SEND
Frances G
Past Member about a month ago

TYFS

SEND
Amparo Fabiana C
Amparo Fabiana Cabout a month ago

Good info. Gracie. I only need lube at my age, wait 10 minutes and enjoy. I am very communicative. Lol. No pain thanks God.

SEND
Lizzy O
Past Member about a month ago

LOL!

SEND
Maud M
Maud Mabout a month ago

merci!

SEND
Mark T
Mark Tabout a month ago

Ty.

SEND
Janet B
Janet Babout a month ago

Thanks

SEND