Tips for Making and Sustaining Adult Friendships

There’s a joke spreading across the Internet that’s popped up on my Facebook feed more than a few times lately. It says “No one talks about Jesus’ biggest miracle: Having 12 close friends in his 30s.” It’s humorous, but totally true: After your early 20s, making good friends just doesn’t seem to come as naturally as it used to.

Some of this is simply the result of peoples’ priorities changing. Rather than seeking emotionally close friends, people look to their partners and children for support. But having a close circle of friends can make a big difference in your quality of life, especially if you don’t live in the same region as the rest of your family. Here are some of experts’ top tips for making and keeping adult friends.

Don’t Take It Personally

First off, it’s important not to get down on yourself if you feel like you’re starting from scratch. Many adults feel like they are the only ones without friends, but actually, feeling this way is an extremely common part of modern adulthood.

“… it is common (and natural) to have friendships wither away when life transitions shift the relationship—from a geographical move to a change in job to marriage, kids, retirement, health issues, or divorce,” writes Andrea Bonior, PhD, for Psychology Today. “Many of us are bereft after a life transition—feeling ashamed of the fact that we seemingly don’t have many friends anymore—and yet it is quite a normal problem to have.”

So, if you feel like you could use some new friends, don’t allow your loneliness to deplete your self-confidence. There are plenty of people in the same boat you are in.

Stop Worrying About Age

One big difference between youth and real adulthood is that age differences become less of an issue. While the difference between 18 and 20 was very pronounced, there’s little difference at all between 43 and 50 — and that means that your potential pool of friends gets vastly wider. Even people with decades between them can be good friends.

Get Involved in Your Community

One of the best ways to connect with people of all ages is to get involved in your community. From religious functions to local politics to town government and volunteer work, the opportunities to meet others who are passionate and interesting is infinite.

Use Your Pets and Kids

Parents (of human and furry children alike!) have a leg up on others when it comes to making friends because they have immediate connections with other parents and pet owners. Take your dog to the dog park, go to a local play group or start a meet-up for cat lovers in your area.

Host Get-Togethers

After you’ve started meeting new people, it’s time to take your potential friendships to the next level — and that means actually spending time together. It can be nerve-wracking to invite a new friend out for coffee one on one, but it’s much less difficult to simply host a party or get-together. This will keep the pressure on the situation low, as there will be plenty of guests to diffuse any tension, and lots of people to talk to.

Be Vulnerable

Finally, once you’ve met new people, the only way to move from small talk to real connections is to be vulnerable. It’s important to make an effort to tell people your story. Talk about your past, your ideas, your point of view… Avoid unloading on people, but open up to those who have started to become friends. Being vulnerable in this way is the only way to take an acquaintance and turn them into a lifelong friend.

Related Articles:

86 comments

Val P
Val P1 months ago

i have no pets and no kids :(

SEND
Rose P.
Past Member 1 months ago

What a great and inspiring story! I was married for seven years without any child, because of this my husband start acting strange, coming home lately and not spending time with me any more and he divorced me. So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life miserable for me. until i came across a friend who told me about DR ODION from the Internet, how he has helped a lot of women with this similar problems that i am going through so i contacted him on: (drodion60@yandex.com) and explained to him. he told me all what to provide before he could cast a reunite spell to bring back my husband which i did and he sent a powerful prayer which i had to say at mid night while he cast the love spell. It was a miracle, 24 hours later my one and only husband came back to me and apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,i quickly call DR ODION and told him what was going on at that moment and he also prepared and sent me a herbal medicine which he said it will cure every unwanted diseases or infections that has been stopping me from conceiving then instructed me on how to use it before meeting with my husband. Behold after using this native herbs and root, few weeks later i started feeling pregnancy signs all over me, truly i was pregnant i just gave birth to a baby boy on the 1st of this month. I Vow to let the whole world know about DR ODION

SEND
Paulo R
Paulo Reeson1 months ago

ty

SEND
Chad Anderson
Chad A2 months ago

Thank you.

SEND
Olga Nycz-Shirley
Olga Nycz-Shirely4 months ago

TY

SEND
Thomas M
Past Member 4 months ago

thank you

SEND
Paulo R
Paulo Reeson4 months ago

ty

SEND
Latoya B
Latoya B4 months ago

Tip 1: remind myself I'm an adult

SEND
Bill E
Bill Eagle4 months ago

All good suggestions.

SEND
Graham P
Graham P5 months ago

Good post, Thanks can relate to it.

SEND