Unconditional Motherhood: The Path to Loving Yourself?

For most of us, our mother is the earliest and most significant influence in life. She is likely our first encounter with unconditional love. The service and selfless giving that mothering universally represents are qualities that we all must learn to emulate on our journey to self-realization.

In order to love unconditionally, I have learned that I must first learn to love and accept myself exactly as I am. How can I embrace others in their perfection if I cannot first see my own? If, in judging myself I reject certain aspects, unconditional love towards others can never be anything more than a hollow faÁade. Similarly, in order to mother the world, I must first learn to mother myself — to find the beauty and perfection of my own individuality and rejoice in my own unique way of being. Then naturally, acceptance and love of others will overflow to my friends and family and ultimately, to my community and the world.

When we cultivate true love of self, the love that is present within us radiates out to all beings, all peoples, and to mother Earth herself. Many talk about what we should do — respect basic human rights, care for the environment and so on. Yet, if we must remind ourselves to do these things and so impose them upon ourselves, then the desire to care and serve is not arising naturally and spontaneously; then we are not dwelling in a healthy place where our innate capacity to give and support all life grows and thrives naturally. Ultimately, our own inner healing will cause these qualities to flourish; not because we are trying to behave responsibly, but because out of an open heart, we are joyfully taking responsibility for nurturing and protecting life.

Unconditional mothering is motherhood without fear or fear-based control. It is neither lax nor careless, nor based on pleasing or fear of losing the favor of a child. Real mother love knows how to set limits, establish boundaries, confront unsatisfactory situations and guide a child’s development with a steady, firm hand. Inwardly, such a large love is surrendered, trusting that things will unfold as they should and free of the ego-based fear of making a mistake, and so it is neither overprotective nor overbearing.

An individual focused on unconditional love is giving the greatest contribution of all to the evolution of our planet. Our gift to humanity comes through our own inner growth and advancement, a mothering of our self that births our own greatness, even as it brings out the greatness in others.

As you cultivate an unconditional relationship with yourself, you will find the unconditional love you seek to express for your children, parents, friends and colleagues. You will become a universal mother: a mother of the world.

Isha Judd is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher. Her book and movie, Why Walk When You Can Fly? (WhyWalkWhenYouCanFly.com) explain her system for self-love and the expansion of consciousness.

The Healing of Unconditional Love



Elena T.
Elena Poensgen5 years ago

Thank you :)

NO ANY FW to me Rumbak
ANA MARIJA R5 years ago

Easier said then done...& Grainne O. i agree with you...

Danuta Watola
Danuta W5 years ago


Teresa Wlosowicz
Teresa W5 years ago

'Love', whatever that means, is not enough. One should be able to care for the child's health properly. That's why only doctors (and maybe nurses) should be allowed to have children.

Darla G.
Darla G.6 years ago

haha unconditional love originally from my mother. well apparently you are mistaken...
I though do work very hard to love my children unconditionally, reminding them when something happens, like a broken plate, a lost jacket, a missed curfew,even stolen money in large sums, that I might be angry/sad/disappointed etc. about a certain situation, but I always love them. No one should feel unworthy of love due to an action or incident. one's worth is inherent... I did however grow up in a family that it was the opposite in a strange way.. the love went to "the ones that needed it.. the addicts and abusers" but me, the white sheep, I fought tooth and nail for every little scrap of love I didnt really receive until at 35 I just quit. This though has enabled me to focus unconditional on my own children, froma healthy, happy heart and soul.

Sheila L.
Sheila Swan L6 years ago

For those of us who DID NOT have unconditional love from our mothers (and in my case she died while I was still trying to please her and we could never work that out), we may please ourselves too much and not set boundaries to free ourselves. It's a complicated situation

Cat N.
Cat N6 years ago

Easier said then done.

Bessie V.
Bessie V6 years ago

May you be free from danger.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you live with ease.

Judy B.
Judy B.6 years ago

Thank you for those very encouraging words.

Grainne O'Carroll
Grainne OCarroll6 years ago

If everyone loved themselves unconditionally, the world would be a wonderful place.