What Mask Do You Wear? Quiz

One of the first steps toward creating a life that fills us with joy and contentment is recognizing the role we play that may be keeping us confined in unhappy, unsatisfying patterns of behavior. Most of us learned our roles early in childhood, but after a certain point, those masks we wear stopped helping us. Which mask do you wear?

Take this quiz to see which role you play. You may recognize the masks your loved ones wear, too!

1. Do you often find yourself thinking, “It should be like THIS” or “They’re doing it WRONG”?

2. Does your striving for perfection sometimes drive you crazy?

3. Do you feel like you will never be good enough?

4. Do you often tell yourself, “I can’t help it” or “It’s not my fault”?

5. Do you find yourself looking to the past and thinking, “It would have been alright if only. . .”

6. Do you look to the future and think “Everything will be alright when. . .”

7. Do you sometimes do things because you think you should or you feel obligated to, but you really don’t want to?

8. Do you commonly tell yourself that making others happy is more important than what you need or feel?

9. Do you often say yes when you really want to say no?

10. Do you often rush in to help people and fix it for them?

If you answered “yes” to 1, 2 or 3, you may be wearing the mask of the Judge. The Judge is the mouthpiece of the Demon of Perfection that says, no matter how good it gets, it will never be good enough.

If you answered “yes” to 4, 5, or 6, you may be wearing the mask of the Victim. The Victim makes up “poor me” stories and is rarely in a state of gratitude or in the present moment.

If you answered “yes” to 7, 8, 9, 10, or 11, you may be wearing the mask of the Prostitute/Rescuer. The Prostitute pretends to be anything you want her to be, compromising herself to get what she wants–which is usually love and acceptance. She hides the truth of how she really feels. The Rescuer is the more respectable face of this mask–the Nurse endlessly mopping the brows of the wounded, the Hero rushing in to make everything better. The problem with this mask is that it subtly (or not so subtly!) tells people, “I don’t respect you enough to believe you can do this yourself.”

There is no shame in having learned to play one of these roles. Most of us did. But we can all learn how to gently put aside the masks that hide our authentic selves.

Inspired by The Power of Belief, by Ray Dodd (Hampton Roads, 2003).


Teresa Wlosowicz
Teresa W5 years ago

I actually answered 'yes' to all the ten questions.

Teresa Wlosowicz
Teresa W5 years ago

Where is question 11??!

ii q.
g d c5 years ago


Sandi C.
Sandi C5 years ago


Demetra D.
Past Member 7 years ago

Nice article.

beverly gannon
beverly gannon7 years ago

thk u this is so true. i am the pros/rescue sadly.

Island Girl
J. J7 years ago

The judge really sounds like me...

irene fernandez
irene F7 years ago

WOW, I have a lot to think about. I always considered myself a great listener and empathic because I can see peoples point of view but never thought how much of htis was because I am looking for approval.
Which I am

Dorothy Dickson
Dorothy Dickson7 years ago

Thank you for a very interesting article.

Susan S.
Susan S7 years ago

I once learned that we can be lost in a vicious cycle of VICTIM/PERSECUTOR/RESCUER and this article reminds me of this unhealthy style of being. Breaking free of perfectionism and living a full and authentic life are one way of freeing oneself from this vicious triangle. Thanks for this quiz. It reminds me of the importance of values and goals.