When Caring Becomes Stressful


Too often many of us who care about social causes and the environment separate our personal stress level from our social or environmental mission. We may think that chronic stress in the name of mission is a worthwhile sacrifice. But it’s easy to see (especially in others) how stress overload creates dysfunction and compromises effectiveness. If we are personally and socially responsible, we cannot ignore our own stress and health.

One of the challenges for those of us who deeply care about people and the planet is what researchers at the Institute of HeartMath term “overcare” – when care turns into stress-producing worry, anxiety and angst, taking a toll on our clarity, health and effectiveness.

It’s important that those of us who do care, also care for ourselves and each other as much as we care for our mission or we will compromise our social impact.

Research also shows that feelings of true care are regenerative and stress-reducing for both the giver and the receiver, and as we learn to balance our care, we are more effective.Women Balancing Globe in the Air

Stress researcher and HeartMath founder Doc Childre writes, “It’s more important now than ever to practice the caring maintenance of our personal energy balance, to learn how to shift from fear to calm and poise when responding to stressful events or news reports. This helps to prevent energy drain and increases the effectiveness of our outgoing care. When our emotions are exhausted, agitated or frayed, it compromises our personal mental and physical system and diminishes our effectiveness. It’s harder to prevent emotional drain at times when you’re personally connected to a stressful event, but there are important actions you can take in the moment while you are experiencing the stress.”

Doc offers caregivers these important tips:

  • It’s worth taking time out on occasion to consciously breathe the feeling of calm and restoration into your system. Doing this from your genuine heart feelings restores emotional resilience, which is especially needed when giving care and support to others. Use any restoration techniques that work for you. The important thing is: remember to do it. Self-care is an essential component in global care.
  • Many people are sensitive to the increasing stress energetics on the planet, the frequency of stress waves and amplification of stress waves by the media. You may find yourself more impatient, short-tempered or anxious. Practice increasing your compassion for yourself and others.
  • Make a commitment to “clear as you go” which means try to resolve judgment, blame and miscommunications, so they don’t occupy your mind, fester in your emotions, and drain your energy. Practice heart-connected communication. Speak from your heart honestly. Listen from your heart without judgment. These are heart-based actions that have proven effective in minimizing distortion, stress and dysfunction. Keep practicing them until they become new habits of care.

Let us know how these tips work for you!

Read more in this article Overcare – Make Sure Your Care is Helping, Not Hurting and how the HeartMath Cut-Thru® Technique can help.

Women Relaxing

Transforming Stress eBooklet and audio gives you the know-how to transform stress. Click here for Free your download Transforming Stress eBooklet and audio.


Angela K.
Angela K4 years ago

Thank you

Barbara Simon
Barbara Simon4 years ago

I totally now what's meant in this article. Thanks for the tips, it's important that people also think about themselves sometimes!

Miriam O.

Thank you for sharing and posting!

Daphne H.
Daphne H4 years ago

Peace to all

Roslyn McBride
Roslyn McBride4 years ago

I know this article is accurate from personal experience - all very well caring for everything from the planet to a member of the family, especially if they live with you, but if you don't care for yourself it doesn't take long to realise it's time you did.

Val M.
Val M4 years ago


Warren Webber
Warren Webber4 years ago

Live long and prosper

Virginia Lathan
Virginia Lathan4 years ago

You know what? I am so glad that we have God to take charge of things when we can do no more. Because when I think of all the major issues that have to be resolved in order for all people to live a just and fair life, there are too many. And as we relentlessly try to tackle them, we're like Sisyphus, the mythological Greek king who was sentenced to roll a boulder up a steep hill only to have it roll back down again. This went on eternally! So it is with the problems of this world. So we just have to do the best we can and then let go and let God. Geeeeeze, I'm glad God has our backs!

Jennifer Daniel
Past Member 4 years ago

Compassion can indeed be overwhelming. Often I simply weep, sometimes for over an hour. Thank you for these tips!

Dot A.
Dot A4 years ago

Remembering that little things make a big difference can help establish a healthy balance for our emotions. Sometimes our culture implies that our actions must be big and noticable to others to make an impact. In reality, all the small things we do each day make a huge difference, in the long-run.

When big things can be done, enjoy those too, but, keep in mind that small acts of kindness really do help change the world, maybe more than the 'big' things ultimately.

We are all Caring people. It's good to be with such thoughtful people!