Why You Need To Take Time For You

Everybody needs some time to shine, time to be recognized, special, admired. It’s not selfish: it’s human.

Early one Saturday I saw in the local paper that a workshop for blues musicians was scheduled for that very morning. I showed the notice to my husband, who intends to be the world’s next great blues harmonica player. “I’d like to go, “he said, “but I promised I would paint your office.” I assured him that the office could wait and sent him off with my blessing.

He thought I was being selfless and wonderful, but I really wasn’t. You see, I’d had a lot of shine time that week—a couple of career successes, lunch out with five favorite friends, and a massage that had accounted for one, entire, luxurious hour. I was full. When you’re basking in the sun, it’s natural to want those you love to join you there. But if you’re not getting enough of your own shine time, it’s easy to be needy, whiny, and pitiful.

It can get worse than that: the shine-deficient tend to resent other people’s accomplishments and dampen their dreams. Sometimes, they sabotage the potential of even their own children because their need for personal recognition is so seldom met. Parents who want to keep their children from pursuing an art or a sport “because it’s not practical” are in this category. So are those who push their kids toward unrealistic academic or athletic achievements. They’re trying to get some shine secondhand.

For your own benefit as well as for the benefit of those around you, shining regularly is as crucial as bathing regularly. You can get the shine time that’s essential to creating a charmed life in myriad ways. Among them:

  • Indulge yourself often in what you do well. If you’re a good swimmer, swim. If you’re a good seamstress, sew.
  • Spend time with people who think you’re splendid – and who’ll tell you so.
  • Celebrate yourself. Mark the occasions of your life with friends and festivity. Never get too old to have birthday parties.

Get more suggestions from Victoria on InspireMeToday.com!

Victoria Moran is an inspirational and comedic speaker, a spiritual-life coach and the author of the international bestseller Creating a Charmed Life.

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Jetana A
Jetana A8 months ago

I love the idea of shine time, and agree that we must feed ourselves before we can give to others.

Jess No Fwd Plz K.
Jessica K4 years ago

Really good essay. I especially like the warning that if you don't take time for yourself, you'll get peevish at others' accomplishments, and also the suggestion to hang with people who are in your cheering corner. Thanks.

Dani C.
Dani C4 years ago

Me time is important...especially,if you're always being pulled in all different directions
Get off the merry go round and just be

Katya J.
Katya J4 years ago


Rekha S4 years ago

Thank you very much.

Natasha Salgado
Past Member 4 years ago

Every day i save an hour 4 myself but away from home. It's nearly impossible to have alone time at home with my 4 legged kids. Thanks

Bonnie M.
Bonnie M4 years ago

Indeed, we all need to give ourselves time alone. I call it needing my space. Some don't recognize that their spirit/ soul longs for time alone- time for some peace and quiet and soak up the blessings of the day. A quiet time alone also enhances one's inner peace. It is as simple as taking a short walk, sit outside and enjoy the fresh air, or sip your beverage quietly
and count your blessings. Or, before going to sleep, take a moment to pray or meditate- all it takes is a few minutes. Start your day with a brief prayer for the blessing of another day.

Fi T.
Past Member 4 years ago

For rest and self reflection

Nils Anders Lunde
PlsNoMessage se4 years ago


Denise Morley
Denise M4 years ago

Thank you for sharing. Shine time.. I like that phrase :)