Wisdom from Michael Fiore

Nobody can make you a victim but you. I get a lot of emails about men “making” women crazy or women “making” men miserable. But nobody can “make” you a victim, any more than they can “make” you happy.

99.99999% of what people say and do has nothing to do with you. Even something as awful as cheating often has nothing to do with someone’s partner. People do what they do. You react how you react. Your heart is yours and you’re the only one who can make it feel anything.

Never apologize for your emotions, but don’t assume that just because you feel something that makes it true and right. We are crazy animals evolved from beasts. Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Feel it. Let it hum through your veins. Passion is infectious. Anger is useful. Pain is meant to teach. Feel everything as intensely as you can. And then pull it all back and make the choice that will make you happy.

Love is a choice, attraction isn’t. You don’t have any more control over who you fall for than you do over gravity. But when the chemical craziness of that first attraction wears off (after days or months or years), you wake up every day, look at the person in your bed and choose to be in love with them….Continuereading at InspireMeToday.com.

Michael is a nationally known relationship expert, author, speaker, and extremely amateurish rock drummer.

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Related:Introducing InspireMeToday.com

Photo Credit: Gail Lynne Goodwin


Julie F.
Julie F4 years ago


Sue T.
Susan T4 years ago

Lynette B has no profile on Care2. I think whoever they are needs a nap cause some one is a bit crabby....and she really does need to get over it.

There is no such thing as equality. At least not government mandated ... it is a state of mind and being. Stop yelling about it and just live your life and be happy with what you have. Be responsible for yourself, if you are unable to do that or if you are in an abusive relationship (I am so sorry if you are) find a friend to help you...call someone no one is alone and we GIRLS are strong. Stop blaming men.

Lisa Spotswood
Lisa Spotswood4 years ago

The privileged white camp, Lynette? You can disagree with the author, but this same old tirade from certain feminists, about white males being the bad guys, is not only stupid & narrow minded, it's a big bore! Get the chip off your shoulder & then maybe you can embark on a relationship with a man that's a healthy one & the color of his skin isn't suspect.

Mary L.
Mary L4 years ago

Robert O, so backward. More women are killed by exes than the reverse.

In Nashville a police officer was gunned down and is paralyzed from the waist down for life because she was trying to help a woman being stalked by her ex. The woman was also shot but she survived.

Robert O.
Bob B4 years ago

Most people would agree with the article. It makes sense.

Then why do the Courts think it's OK if a woman kills her mate on the grounds he abused her?

And why doesn't she just leave? (Because she knows she can literally get away with murder.)

Heidi Aubrey
Heidi Aubrey4 years ago

I completely agree 100%.

1. He is not talking about the needless suffering that exists in the world today.

2. He is talking about your personal pain and anger.

Anger: hate, outrage, rage. What do you do with this? This is the useful part. Anger is raw energy, it gives you drive and purpose right?

Okay, DO NOT use it for something destructive and ultimately harmful to yourself.

Use that energy, drive, shear will of force to do something you have never done before, but to your ultimate best interest.

Example: He told you he was going to marry you and you would be a stay at home mother to his wonderful children. You find out, he is a cheater and liar and is using you only for sex. He has NO intention of ever marrying you. Everything he said was a load of crock to keep you having sex with him.

What to do? Feel that outrage? Viscious anger well up? Ta Dah! There is your energy to go to college and choose an employable major. "You'll show him"-if this works for you. There is your drive.

You have now done something useful and positive for yourself with that energy.

Its a skill anyone can master. Take the energy and power of anger and turn it.

Turn it into something you won't regret.

And by the way, if you are in a relationship, but not married, give only gifts that you really don't care if you ever get back. Instead of thinking to buy something that will make him happy, buy him something small that he can use: Shirt, pants, a bel

Winn Adams
Winn A4 years ago


Bmr Reddy
Ramu Reddy4 years ago

Thanks Gail

Marianne B.
Marianne B4 years ago

Pain is meant to teach??? Anger is useful??? no thanks

Ken W.
Ken W4 years ago