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The Difference Between Rape and Sex

World  (tags: world, humanrights, Sex, RAPE, blog, violence )

- 1878 days ago -
My favorite TV show for the last two years has been "Law & Order - SVU [Special Victims Unit]." Far from being perfect, this is a crime show that has taught me much about U.S. laws on various


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Rose Becke (141)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 3:21 pm
Photo source: Flickr | Chris Moses
By Orbala

Debbie G (306)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 3:28 pm
Good article. Thanks, Rose.

Bridget Robertson (106)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 3:37 pm
Great article Rose. I always remind people that Ted Bundy had a girlfriend. Until she figured out he was the serial rapist. She even turned in evidence to help the FBI. The last line in the article is really the truth...Rape is only about rapists.

Carole Sarcinello (338)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 4:30 pm

Thank you so much for sharing this, Rose.

Rape is not a crime of passion . . . it is an acting-out exhibition of anger and control.

While so many people call for castration of rapists, the fact that the act is not a result of arousal is also the reason that punishment would not be effective. (If incapable of erection, the rapist could use foreign objects to extract the same release of pent-up, unresolved issues.)

It is important that more people understand the mindset of a rapist.


Kit B (276)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 6:44 pm

Exactly Carole. Rape is a violent criminal act. Sex is between consenting adults. That seems very simple, until the big mouths in DC begin talking about legitimate rape. No rape is ever asked for, desired or wanted, it is not the fault nor responsibility of the victim.
This is worth reading:

The Aroused, The Conqueror, The Angry, The Abused

ASK A FEMINIST WHY men rape and she'll tell you that they are angry and take it out on women. Ask a behavioral researchers why men rape and he says they just get turned on by the wrong stimuli. The answer to the question, however, now looks far more complex.

"For a long time, these two approaches dominated the thinking on why men rape, which is understandable; it would be great to be able to pin sexual aggression on a single cause:' says Gordon Nagayama Hall, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Kent State, who recently coordinated a national forum on rape. "But neither of these models explains all types of rape or rapists. As our research has become more sophisticated, other explanations have evolved ."

Disturbing ones at that. Hall and his colleagues have concluded, for example, that more people should be considered potential rapists than previously thought. "Among recent studies, there are varying percentages of men who could be considered potential rapists; one researcher has illustrated that as many as 25 percent of all male college students have engaged in some level of sexually coercive or aggressive behavior."

Read more @

And.... What Makes a “Rapist”? (Psychological Analysis)

Carole Sarcinello (338)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 7:01 pm

Very good references, Kit.  In particular, I would recommend this one (which does much to analyze/understand the dynamics of "transitional" countries that contribute to supporting rape).

What Makes a “Rapist”? (Psychological Analysis) -- Rape is a Hate Crime


fly bird (26)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 9:08 pm
Rose thanks for posting. I signed the petition Free Reeyot Alemu to right hand corner. A post for the petition would be helpful.

Carole Sarcinello (338)
Saturday January 25, 2014, 11:41 pm

I was about to go to bed (2:00am here), but I couldn't. Why? Because I was disturbed by my previous comment and the usage of the term "transitional" countries. Why? Because it separates less-liberal countries from so-called progressive countries.

And, as such is untrue.

I live in America (assumed to be progressive). But, to the women who live here, rape is still a definite fear. Mistreatment is as well. According to Statistic Brain, 16% of women are raped, or attempted to be, per year.  (And, mind you, rape statistics only include those reported.  Many are not.)

Also take into consideration these statistics:

The Victims.

One in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.

Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.

Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men.

Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.

Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.

Each of us reads often these statistics, but before we hold any one country (or religion) as being wrongful in their treatment, we need to also consider the many ways women in so-called "progressive" countries.

Many women are controlled by religion, including those of the Christian faith. For far too long, devout women have been controlled by men and clergy that, with self-serving purposeful intent, misinterpret, or use certain phrases from the Bible (usually taken out of context) in order to subordinate female equality.

And, even though America has made progress, the fact that a large percentage (in my opinion any number over zero) of women are still being looked upon as objects -- and daily, in all mainstream media, are presented as "prizes"), has contributed to sex trafficking, porn films (including children) -- prove the transition is still not final.

We are still seeing examples of that whenever we hear of gang rapes by high school football team players (whose defense is usually "She asked for it.") being slapped on the hand after the barbarity (and worse, many in the public agreeing). Consider Huckabee's quote (and he is a potential 2016 candidate for president): ". . . "they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government." [I cringe whenever I hear a woman defined by a man, or women defined as all the same as other women because of their sex.]

We still have a LONG way to go . . . this must stop!


Carole Sarcinello (338)
Sunday January 26, 2014, 12:02 am

And, before finally climbing into my bed (with 2 thermal blankets, a comforter and 2 cats -- it's COLD here), I leave you with this . . . written by a man:

5 Ways Modern Men Are Trained to Hate Women


Vivien Green (153)
Sunday January 26, 2014, 3:38 am
Noted thank you rose.
To make a greater contribution in human rights causes, particularly in sex slavery and human trafficking, consider joining this Care2 group: Slavery Today
Slavery Today, a human rights group in Care2 and Facebook


Hazel G (27)
Sunday January 26, 2014, 9:40 pm
Good article.

Trina Hawkins (24)
Sunday January 26, 2014, 10:01 pm
Noted ! Any one who has been Raped ,could Tell You ,it's Not about SEX ! It's about CONTROL ! To HURT,HUMILIATE,CONTROL ! It's SICK and TWISTED ! It causes PTSD,a guy who Rapes should be Shot in the head ! Why ? Because they Wont change ! They think they are a Man ! A REAL Man knows how to treat a Woman,Girl or people in general ! They Dont have to Hurt others in this manner ! Those who Rape are DEVEANTS of Society ! And instead of locking them up for a few years,then setting them free to do it again ,they should be lined up and Executed !

Dogan Ozkan (5)
Sunday January 26, 2014, 10:25 pm
noted the good article

Judith C (159)
Sunday January 26, 2014, 10:27 pm
Noted. Rapists aren't normal people.

John De Avalon (36)
Monday January 27, 2014, 1:07 am
With you 100%...

Lindsay Kemp (6)
Monday January 27, 2014, 4:55 am
Good article - thanks

Julie Botsch (12)
Monday January 27, 2014, 7:31 am
Thank You.

ewoud k (68)
Monday January 27, 2014, 11:05 am
Well said Carole!

In fact, we can resume the difference to a two-letter word: NO.

But it's there that "power" and "control" set in.

Rape hasn't that much to do with sex, it's "domination" that counts.

And indeed, castration (chemically or physically) doesn't help that much, there's more work to do on the man (or woman, even if this version is far more rare, it does exist) to get this lust for power & domination out of his (her) head.

Yvonne F (181)
Tuesday February 4, 2014, 11:16 am
Great article!!! Thanks Rose
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